Need Advice about REALLY Skeevy Guy, kids might be in danger

In My Humble Opinion (IMHO)
#1

I apologize in advance for the length.

So my friend’s sister met this guy 6 weeks ago. She had two jobs, one at a coffee house and the other as a black jack dealer. She met this guy when he came into the coffee house. They hit it off, and she told him she worked nights at the Casino. So he came in a couple of nights and she kicked his butt at the tables.

The rest is history.

She told my friend that she’s known the guy for 3 months, which was a lie.

First red flag.

She’s married, with three kids aged 14, 11 and 5. She called my friend last weekend and told her she’s leaving her husband for this guy, gave her husband until Tuesday to get his stuff out of their house and in the meantime was staying at this fleabag motel with the kids and the new guy.

My friend works at a really nice hotel and agreed to set them all up there. This is how I met the guy.

Apparently, the guy is a millionaire. How do I know this? Immediately upon meeting my friend he asked if he could see her outside (we were at the hotel. We had to meet up with them there because the guy tried to pay for the room with a check, which the hotel doesn’t take, so my friend’s boss called her and asked her to come in and pay for the room.)

So the guy takes her outside and immediately goes into (from the re-telling of the story by my friend) a rehearsed speech about how he knows she’s suspicious, what his name is, the fact that he knows her husband (my friends husband) is about to enter the police academy and to give him a couple of weeks and feel free to do a background check on him.

Second red flag.

The guy moved here from Washington approximately 6 weeks ago, when he immediately met friend’s sister and fell in love. I looked at the check he gave the hotel clerk and noticed there was no imprinted name or address. Is the account new? No. He comes downstairs, yanks the check out of friend’s hand and says dismissively, “I don’t put my name on checks.”

So why did he try to pay for the room with a check? He doesn’t have credit cards. He doesn’t trust anyone, he says. The man is a millionaire and doesn’t have a single credit card. He lives in a trailer. Not a mobile home, a trailer. He did actually have a credit card my friend saw, but it didn’t have a name on it. In fact, this guy doesn’t even use ATM’s. No, he keeps the bulk of his money in a safe in his trailer.

Third red flag.

The 14 year old daughter doesn’t like this guy. Doesn’t want to be alone with him. I don’t blame her. IMHO, he was a bit on the skeevy side. Actually, my exact words to my friend were “my spidy senses are a tinglin’!” Something just wasn’t right about this guy. We forgot something at the hotel and had to return later and found Mr. Wonderful outside talking to the 11 year old. I noticed at some point within the group being all together, Mr. Wonderful has had each family member alone and engaged in a serious “talk.”

Fourth red flag.

So the five year old comes into the hotel (we had the girls with us for most of the day and were dropping them off) sees this guy and yells “hi daddy!”

At first I didn’t think I heard her right. Then my friend confirmed. Yes, she called him “daddy”. Did he look at all concerned? Nope. Did sister look at all concerned (she was within earshot), no. Does 5 year old have a daddy at home packing his bags that very moment? Yes. 5 year old met this guy 3 days prior. And she’s calling him “daddy”.

Fifth red flag.

So my friend calls me last night and informs me that Mr. Wonderful has just bought her sister a 1.5 million dollar home. In a day. In sisters name. A woman he’s known for 6 weeks. He paid cash. Sister immediately quit both her jobs. Sister is now staying with the guy and her 3 kids in the flea bag motel until she can move into the house in 2 weeks. Mr. Wonderful immediately deposited $50,000 in sister’s bank account.

Sixth red flag.

At this point, sister’s husband is calling my friend asking where his family is. They were supposed to return Tuesday. He’s got no clue what’s going on. He has no idea Mr. Wonderful exists. Yes, he’s supposed to be gone, he knows they’re leaving him, but he’s worried about the whereabouts of his kids.

Seventh red flag.

So, do I have cause to be concerned on behalf of my friend? If it was just sister getting involved in this, I wouldn’t care, she’s a grown woman, if she wants to be stupid, that’s her trip. I’m worried about the kids. The 14 year old is really uneasy about this, understandably so. She doesn’t want to be left alone with this guy. Also, understandably so. The five year old is calling him “daddy” after knowing him for 3 days and no one seems to care. I haven’t talked to the 11 year old about it, so I don’t know what his take on it is.

The guy just doesn’t feel right. Something about him is REALLY sending my spidey senses into tingly overdrive.

Anyone have a take on this? I appreciate all input.

#2

If I were your friend, I would tell my brother-in-law all of this. I’d be very worried about those children, and if there’s no way to keep their mother from putting herself in a dangerous position, their dad should at least have the chance to object to their being in it.

#3

Keep taking notes, this might make a good movie someday. This is a real head-scratcher indeed. Usually a guy will put on a front like that to take someone else to the cleaners. Strange, really strange. Sure smells fishy to me, but I can’t think of a punch line though.

Please keep us informed.

#4

Yeah, no kidding. Thing is, sister is completely broke. He’s after something, I can feel it, I just can’t figure out what.

That I will. I’m supposed to hang out with my friend Sat. night, I’m sure I’ll get more details then.

I agree my friend should tell her brother-in-law. I’ll suggest it when I see her.

#5

One other thing, EVERYONE has a bad side, for some unknown reason I’m thinking this guy’s bad side is going to be REALLY bad.

And of course, I wouldn’t believe a word this guy says. If it’s not in black-and-white, seeing-is-believing, I would assume everything he says is total bullshit.

#6

Oh, totally.

I really trust my instincts, they’ve rarely steered me wrong. This guy literally made the hairs stand up on the back of my neck. Alarms were immediately going off in my head when I met him. I’ve honestly never had this strong of a reaction to someone upon first introduction. I didn’t want to be alone with him and I’m 26 years old. I can’t imagine what the 14 year old must feel like.

And yes, I told my friend all of this.

#7

He gave his permission to run a police check, right? I assume that you need his permission in writing to do this, though. That’s the case here in Victoria, Australia.

Has he told your friend, or your friend’s sister for that matter, where all his cash comes from, what his job is, his life story etc? Can you google his name or any of the facts of his life story to check them out?

If this gets any more suss, you should really go to the police, though I don’t know what you’d say to them…

#8

Lezlers, if you were to read your own post as if someone else wrote it, would ANY of this make sense? A mysterious stranger sweeps this woman, a mother of three, off her feet at the blackjack table? Within weeks, she’s telling her husband to pack up and get out? And the husband quietly does? No lawyer, no counseling, no custody agreement, no separation agreement? He’s left wondering where his kids are? AND HE’S GONNA BE A COP? Mr. Mysteryman is hitting on preteens? He’s got the baby calling him daddy? And their mother thinks thats OK? He can’t pay for a hotel room, but he buys her a million-dollar house? And nobody knows where the money came from?

It seems like there are at least a couple of things to do RIGHT NOW:
1/ Tell hubby everything.
2/ Call the local child protective services and tell them what you’ve seen and why you’re worried. Even if they can’t do anything except talk to the family, this guy will know that he’s being watched.
3/ Tell the kids privately, if you can, that if they need help they can call you anytime and you’ll be there.

Also, financial transactions always leave trails. If this guy really bought a house, the real estate agent and the seller know what the financial arrangements are, and the title is a public record. Any agent or real estate lawyer can usually help you find out who bought, sold or owns any real estate. There are ways to conceal such things, but running into something like a dummy corporation should set off its own alarm bells. And if the title hasn’t been recorded in her name, then he didn’t really buy her a house, did he? And is there a mortgage? In who’s name? And where did the $50,000 deposit come from? It’s her account right? She can ask her bank for information about her own account. If it was from a check, the check can be traced. If it was all cash, wouldn’t that be suspicious in itself?

You might not be able to help this simple-minded woman, but do whatever you have to do to save the kids.

#9

As other posters have pointed out, the father should be informed ASAP and in details of all these things. He’s the one responsible for the kids, and the most able to do something, from a legal point of view, if something has to be done.

#10

Document every thing you can. Paper trails. Keep us up to date.

#11

Mighty fishy. Especially this part:

Because the only thing she has that a creepy guy might want is those kids. Even aside from that, the whole mess is bad for the kids – tromping around hotels with a strange (VERY strange) dude their mom left their dad for? I’d call the father right now and tell him where the kids are. They’d surely be better off living back in their own home until something more permanent is worked out. And I mean officially worked out. Why the hell should the father be packing his bags and moving out of his home on his wife’s say-so? If I were him I’d stick tight where I was and call me a lawyer NOW.

#12

I think I watch way to much TV, but what about life insurance? I mean there are some wackos out there that would take out life insurance policies on people, live with them for a while and then poof, you never see/hear from them again.

Ready made family of four…life insurance…new mansion…isolate them all and poof, off them and collect the life insurance.

Did I mention I may be watching way too many crime TV shows?

#13

Nah…you don’t need anyone’s permission. Most of that stuff (if you’ve gone to court already) is public record in the U.S. Not at all hard to find.

#14

The fact that he had $50K to drop into this woman’s account, yet still chooses a fleabag motel, ought to make this woman suspicious. Why doesn’t she take some of that $50K and move her children into better surroundings? It’s just too bizarre. It sounds like your friend’s sister has had some sort of mental breakdown. The fact that SHE isn’t questioning any of this (unless she’s unbeliveably stupid, clueless, insane) makes me worry for her as well. The 14-year old is old enough to explain to her father and/or the authorities exactly what she’s seen (and it may be a LOT!). I just don’t see too many men jumping into a 3-kid situation in such a short time. Way creepy.

#15

This seems like the best thing. Check out who actually paid for the house. That’s a matter of public record. Why aren’t they living there yet? Has anyone actually seen the house, and been inside it, or is it all just talk?

WHere did the $50,000 for her bank account come from? That seems suspicious, too. Was it a cash deposit or with a check? Don’t banks have to report large deposits, especially if they’re in cash? Has she had access to the account yet? Is it really there, or has he just told her it’s there?

If he’s a millionaire, why is he going to become a cop? How did he acquire his millions? I’d definitely Google his name and find out more about him.
This woman should have had access to his SS# by this point and should be able to run some sort of check on him with a private investigator. Is she blinded by love or is she suspicious, too?

And tell the husband everything you know so far.

#16

Oh my God. Would it be possible for your friend to take her sister’s kids for a while? This scares the hell out of me.

#17

Red flags?

Hell, flare guns are going off!

If you can, give the kids a warning about not being alone with this guy without siblings nearby. Stick together.

Sounds like he is in drugs or something illegal and he has to relocate quite often. Or he could be a Paris Hilton, creepy style. (or creepier style)
And naturally, keep us posted.

#18

I wonder if dope’s involved? I have seen people do really strange things if they lay they eyes (and nose) on a big bale of cocaine. Just one other angle I was thinking of, maybe this dude has lots of good dope? That would also explain the whimsical financial dealings, and the yes-yes attitude this woman has.

:: still scratching my head ::

#19

I concur, something really weird is going on. The other bad news is the woman probably won’t believe friend, let alone you. But try. Make friend do the work, since their relationship is presumably closest. Stress the “just in case, for the children” thing

If this guy is for real, then he should recognise why it looks so odd, and be happy to help put all your minds at rest. If not, even more red flags. (And remember, it’s possible he’s for real. Every so often, something this weird happens.)

Good luck. Let us know what happens.

#20

This lady doesn’t sound as if she’d be moved by all that funky common sense stuff. If I were your friend, I’d tell her I wanted to take the kids off her hands for a while so she can spend quality time with loverboy. Save the kids, screw the ditz, she’s not going to listen.