Talking on Facebook last night, I discovered, through a mutual friend, someone I knew in school many years ago. I didn’t know him well, but we were reminiscing a bit and then I went to bed. When I woke up I found he had made another post saying he had been an alcoholic for a long time and now is ten years sober.
I want to say something along the lines of “congratulations,” but that doesn’t seem like the right word. It sounds as if he’s won a contest. I can’t say I’m proud of him because I don’t know him. Remembering that my sister died of alcoholism, I could just say “I’m glad you have maintained your sobriety,” but that doesn’t seem right either. Am I overthinking this?
They chose to post about their sobriety, so it seems safe to conclude they would appreciate words of support and congratulations, kudos, etc. You are overthinking the exact wording. Way to go, that’s amazing, good job, etc. No, they didn’t win a contest, but neither have people who get married, get pregnant, or graduate from high school, yet “congratulations” is the normal thing to say.
“Congrats on 10 years of sobriety. I know it’s hard work, and I think it’s great that you’ve gotten it under control.”
If he asks how you know it’s hard work, you can tell him about your sister. IOW, if he wants to talk about his situation further, then your knowledge of your sister’s battle with the problem gives you some legitimate insight and empathy into his situation.
Congratulations seems appropriate even for situations in which skill/effort was involved, not just for winning prizes.
Saying something like “Good job” or “Good work” would capture the effort involved. If you want to bring in your personal connection, you could say something like “I know how difficult that is because of family members who struggled with alcoholism.”
