Need backhanded compliments for former colleague's LinkedIn endorsement

A guy I used to work with has requested an endorsement in LinkedIn. He was lateral to me, but managed to muscle his way into a quasi-supervisory role over me, during which time he demonstrated absolutely awful management technique - think Dwight Schrute from The Office being your boss. The guy was a real dick to work for. Outside of work, I actually don’t mind him that much - we’ve gone out for drinks a couple times since our team was disbanded, and he pretty much knows how I feel about him professionally. Therefore, it’s sort of surprising that he’s asking me for an endorsement. But, fuck it. He wants one, I’ll give him one. Anyone care to help me craft it?

FYI, he’ll be able to review the endorsement before he accepts it, so I’m not going to blindside/torpedo the poor guy.

You’ll be lucky to get X to work for you.

“Bob really knows how to put the “man” in micromanager.”

Bob’s work ethic is definitely something else.
There’s never a dull moment when Bob is working.
Not only does Bob think outside the box, Bob doesn’t even know what the box is!
Bob makes everyone on his team look good!
I’m Southern, we perfected the backhanded compliment!

I can’t say enough good things about Bob.

At first glance, that seems positive, but it means either, “I can’t say anything good about Bob,” or “Nothing I can say will conceal Bob’s incompetence.”

If finances were cars, Bob’s money would be Fiat.

“Mere words cannot describe the effect Bob had on our office. It’s been a changed place since he left.”

“Bob was always willing to pitch in whenever he needed help.”

“We all think of Bob every day. His unique management skills are still the talk of the office. His former reports in particular don’t miss a chance to let everyone know how it was to work for him.”

“Nobody could do the job better than Bob.”

“I cannot recommend Bob highly enough.”

… ah, a Terrence Hill fan.

Wasn’t there a piece floating around that was supposedly composed in front of the referencee, and looked quite pleasant, but when you read every other line, told who they really were?

“A worker like Bob is hard to find.” (Where the hell is he all day?)

As Homer Simpson says, “Everyone says they have to work harder when I’m around.”

“When Bob asked me to write something describing his management skills, I knew I’d have to think hard to find the right words to describe his unique style.”