So… pretty hairy kids, then, huh?
(I’m sorry. hangs head in shame)
I would have to say this- but the stuff around here is usually pretty easy to figure out. Plus, if you google the form in ca, you usually come up with the way somebody’s filled it out. Whether you want to affix your name to it, well, you have to decide if it is appropriate.
I worked mine out well.
Depending on your state, your children may be able to voice their own personal preference of parent. In my state, after a certain age (12, IIRC) the kid goes before the judge and says “I want weekends with so and so and full time with the other party” or “I want 50/50” or “I want full time with one person”.
I don’t know if this is true where I’m at, but his lawyer got a stern talking to (how embarrassing for her!) by the judge when she tried to bypass statutes that would preclude her from imputing income on me to reduce his child support since I was only working 1/2 - 3/4 time then but “could have” worked full time.
She was dirty and underhanded the whole time and I don’t really blame her at all but, for all her tactics, she didn’t really do him a damn bit of good and, IMO, may have even hurt him. Unfortunate for him, I suppose, and I don’t think for one second he would have done any better by himself but at least that would have been less expensive.
I could write a book about this lady. Ridiculous.
I tried going pro se with my custody case. Judge wouldn’t even grant me a court date until I obtained legal counsel. YMMV. Florida is a very mom-bias and good-old-boy state
BTW: lawyer told me that it would take upwards of $30,000 to fight custody.
Wow, that’s crap.
My lawyer told me that, while it’s “hard to ballpark these sorts of things”, he thought maybe $8000 would do it. Considering that $15,000 didn’t even get me half way through everything, I would say he was a little off…
I’ve picked out a busy intersection and I’m making a cardboard sign that says “Lawyer Needs Money”.
if you qualified that with “Custody Lawyer Needs Money”, I’d bet you’d get a fair amount of sympathetic money from divorced passers-by.
^ Yeah, otherwise you come across as one of the many people who have passed the bar but can’t find a job. I’ve seen some begging lawyers before.
I’d still say Need money for Custody Lawyer, though, to cut out the ambiguity.
How about talking again directly with your ex, and bypass the lawyer? Work out a compromise with him/her? Before, you both had nothing to win with a compromise, so you both set up a dogfight with your lawyers, who were all to happy to oblige and to drag this out as long as possible.
But now, you, at least, have something to win by resolving this swiftly and amicably. Perhaps that is worth some grovelling to you to patch up hurt feelings. It would certainnly be the best investment, timewise, for you. A one-hour talk with your ex might save thousands in lawyer fees. You can’t get that kind of return on working a second job! It might be good to talk to some friends of her first or read a book about divorce to prepare yourself and not make the same mistakes you made that led to divorce. Your goal is to understand your ex’s gripes, let her know you heard her (non-judgingly, and then, respectfully, state wjjhat you want for the future and how she feels about that.
The other side, too, might not enjoy pissing away money either, even if they have plenty. You have the kids in common and perhaps he/she can be persuaded that is isn’t in the best interest of the kids to have you bankrupted, the kids collegefund spend on lawyer fees, and the animosity betwen their parents continuing.
If you don’t manage in a talk, perhaps you and her could settle on mediation, instead of lawyers? Or get a joint lawyer? Of make some finite-sum arragenment with your mutual lwayers so they don’t have anythign to win by dragging it out?