I know you are not a lawyer blah blah blah
I have friend with kids (7 & 9) – she has never been married to their father. She has included him in co-parenting.
Yesterday he told her he wanted custody of the kids – out of the blue. How does she go about finding a lawyer to protect her?
Thanks
Calculate how much money she can beg, borrow or steal. Add 50%. Find the lawyer who will handle the case for that amount.
Seriously, it has nothing whatever to do with right, wrong, justice, fairness, what’s best for the children, blah, blah, blah…
It’s all about how much she pays her attorney versus how much he pays his, and the decision goes to the higher-paid lawyer. If she’s lucky, her lawyer can get his fee from the father, but don’t bet on it. Also, women lawyers representing women plaintiffs seem to carry more weight with judges.
Oh really? Interesting. The custody cases I’ve won as a lawyer employed by a non-profit (where the client pays nothing other than filing fees, and sometimes not even that) didn’t happen? The Court did not perform the required analysis of the evidence, guided by the polestar consideration of the best interest of the child? I didn’t beat a guy who pays more in taxes than I make in a year at trial?
Or maybe you’re just wrong. Pretty sure it’s one of those.
:smack: Shoulda had a V8.
I’m in Maryland and custody issues here are generally pretty straightforward.
As to the “advice” part she really needs an attorney as this is not your run of the mill custody as a part of divorce scenario where you might be able to get general guidance on rule and regs from guides on the net.
Beyond this I suspect there’s a huge chunk you;re leaving out the story that would be germane to custody. A man wanting sole custody “out of the blue” for no stated reason rarely happens.
Why is he asking for custody?
In the absence of other info you make it sound like he wants sole custody. Is this the case or not?
Have they ever lived together with the kids?
It is unlikely he will get custody unless there are extenuating circumstances and the kids are in some sort of hazard. Is there anything she is doing or suffering from that makes him think the kids would be in harms way?
Shouldn’t your first question have been “What jurisdiction are you in?”
Stupid editing time limit…
I see my question was answered in the title, I hope someone is qualified to respond.
No. I was not responding to or advising the OP. I was correcting egregiously erroneous information from another poster.
Fair enough. Carry on. Like you need my permission. L
Like you, I am basing my comments on personal experience. Granted it was in Florida in the late 1970s, while the state was being dragged, kicking and screaming, into the 19th century.
Our son was only a month old when we separated, and I moved to be awarded custody based on a mountain of documentary evidence. She made up a bunch of lies out of thin air, and the judge, with the Wisdom of Solomon, split the difference. The state at that time held, “The mother gets custody,” unless there is overwhelming evidence to contraindicate that. I had a “Legal Aid” lawyer, and I got my head handed to me. She was awarded “sole care, custody and control,” while I got minimal visitation. When he was 2 years old, his mother buggered off to another city over 200 miles away, leaving her “custodial child” with her parents to raise. Over the years, I sought increased visitation rights, with spotty results.
When he was 6 years old, I decided to sue for “Sole care, custody and control” for myself, with liberal visitation for my ex and her parents. My ex’s parents countersued for custody to be awarded to them. I hired a top-of-the-line attorney, and did all my research and preparation.
My ex told the Court Counselors in Duval County and Hillsborough County she no longer wished to have custody. She told the psychiatrist appointed to the case she no longer wished to have custody. She told the judge in the hearing she no longer wished to have custody. The laws of the State of Florida say that natural parents have primary claim to custody over any third party, even grandparents. It took the court three years, and cost me over $15,000 to settle what should have been an open-and-shut case. Still, the judge gave my ex and her family ten times the access I ever had with my son.
My ex and her family hired the psychiatrist to write what they dictated, and the judge used that “evidence” in formulating his decision, even though the first time I was permitted to see the report was in the final judgment. I was never given the opportunity to rebut, or even comment on, the findings. There were many totally asinine edicts spelled out in the judgment, due to the judge completely disregarding my testimony and that of my witnesses, and putting complete faith in the proven lies my ex presented. When I petitioned to have a clause modified, which stipulated that my son finish the school year at my ex-in-laws’, over 30 miles one-way across town at rush hour, with affidavits signed by his teacher, the principal, the guidance counselor, and the curriculum specialist, all agreeing that the move would be “in the best interest of the child”, the judge dismissed the motion “with prejudice.”
If this were my only evidence, it would be understandable to dismiss it. But the same things happened to friends, relatives and acquaintances in many jurisdictions, including Baltimore MD, Long Island NY, and others, over the span of many decades. It is my impression that this is how the courts do business, as I have been witness to many, many cases very similar to mine, and few, if any, where “justice” played more than a token role in the proceedings.
Oak, astro, the OP isn’t asking for legal advice. She’s asking how her friend should go about finding a lawyer. Given my experience is all in the big firm/institutional client world, I don’t have a good answer to the question, but it sounds like you two are better situated to address it.
–Cliffy
She can search for a local lawyer here, pick the practice area: child custody.
There are dopers everywhere. Although MD is a relatively small state it’s still big enough that you would normally want a local domestic law atty. If the OP wants to get specific advice he/she needs to indicates he town or city where this is taking place so we can offer personal opinions as to the competency of lawyers we have used in the area, or whose local reputation precedes them.