So I’m knee-deep in a long, protracted child custody battle and I’m running out of cash. The “other side” has virtually unlimited financial resources. What are my options here? Anyone have experience creatively keeping the lawyers paid? Doper Legals, any experiences to share?
3…
When I was taken to court for custody by my kid’s dad, I went into debt to the tune of about $15,000 through private loans and notes from the bank. I was lucky that I realized before it got really expensive that I didn’t really need a lawyer and wound up doing all the subsequent hearings (parenting time assistance (he was on supervised visits only for a long time because he’s stupid), child support, all the mods, etc.) on my own.
It was real easy and, in my area anyway, all the paperwork is pretty much self-explanatory and a snap to fill out. I don’t know jack about law so take my advice with a grain of salt.
It worked out well for me, though.
A lot of jurisdictions will allow you to do your own Family Law matters such as this, and there is somewhat of a duty of the Judge to ensure that the other side’s lawyer does nothing to take advantage of the fact that you’re not a lawyer.
The idea behind this is to ensure that everyone has access to Family Law no matter what their financial circumstance may be.
You could also see about getting a lawyer from Legal Aid if you think you may qualify. If you’ve run out of resources, you can show them that this is what happened, and this may very well cut some slack with them.
It’s not just the judge. As a lawyer, I am ethically bound by our Code of Professional Conduct not to take advantage of an unrepresented party on the other side. In addition to the duties I would regularly owe professional colleagues acting for the other side, I must make the unrepresented party aware that I am not acting for them (if, for example, they ask me a “what should I do?” question when we communicate), and I must advise them to seek competent and professional counsel of their own. I do make them aware of local free/low-cost sources of legal advice (heck, I volunteer at one of them).
My comments apply to the bar in our jurisdiction, but I would expect that the bars of other jurisdictions would have similar ethical rules. IME at any rate, dealing with an unrepresented party on the other side is a minefield of ethical considerations, all of which are designed to make sure that the lawyer does not take advantage of the unrepresented party.
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Thanks for the input. I tried to do the “pro se” thing, but since I have a day job myself, I didn’t have adequate time. I really like my current lawyer–he’s effective and engaged; but he’s going through my resources at an unsustainable burn rate. I earn too much to qualify for Legal Aid…
…1!
So…OK, I’ll bite. What’s up with the “…3…2…1…”?
My guess is that they’re counting down the moment when someone tells you to ask a lawyer.
Go talk to a lawyer.
Already did. That’s why I brought it to the Teeming Millions. My lawyer just wants the money. I’m asking about where the money comes from. Grants? Bake sales? Selling plasma? What?
There’s no special source of money out there for legal expenses. You’ll have to figure out a way to get the money for this just like you would for any other important need. Anything you can sell? Anyone you can borrow from? Will your lawyer accept deferred payments?
A thread like this tends to got locked pretty quickly. That was the countdown.
I have an acquaintance who fought a long custody battle for his kids (in fact, the oldest wasn’t his, but he wanted custody of both). He sold everything he had, he borrowed from his parents and took out a second mortgage. He ultimately bankrupted himself, but he considered it worth it because he did end up with sole custody of both kids.
No one is going to pay your debts for you. If you want it badly enough, you’ll have to do whatever it takes. If you have to take cash advances on your credit cards, discuss payment plans with your lawyer, get a cheaper lawyer, whatever.
Why do you think that the courts won’t give you at least joint custody?
StG
Second job? Take on credit card debt?
Sell one kid. Or parts – if you have 3 kids, you have 3 lungs, 3 kidneys, 3 eyes, etc.
Don’t get me started on kiddie porn…
Speak with your lawyer. He or she is well-acquainted with clients who cannot pay their bill in full when rendered–and I’m speaking from experience. We’re pretty flexible, and if you ask for a time-payment plan; then IME, we’ll be happy to arrange one that both you and we can live with.
Heck, I have one client who is slowwwww-ly paying his tab down, but it’s okay. He made us aware of his ability to pay; and knowing what we were getting into, we proceeded on his behalf. He got what he wanted (legally speaking), and we’re getting paid. Slowly, as I said, but we are getting paid; and we knew what we were getting into.
Talk to your lawyer and see what the two of you can work out.
That’s one of the biggest problems with our (America’s) legal system. Whether it’s civil or criminal cases, you don’t have to win. All you do is have to wear the other guy out.
As for ethics, that’s is largely a matter of personal definition. Yes, a lawyer has an ethical duty not to take advantage, but he also has an ethical duty to his own client not to do anything that would lose the case for his client as well.
Your opposition isn’t going to go out of their way to anything to help you as that’ll put him right behind another “8-ball.”
There comes a point where you’re gonna have to be realistic and wonder if you’re throwing good money after bad. If there is no abuse involved, the important thing is the kid.
Are you gonna say “Hey junior, I spent the $25,000 I was gonna send you to college with on a custody fight?” Could the money be put to better use on the kid?
After reading the post about someone bankrupting themselves for the sake of obtaining sole custody, I was wondering the same thing, Marxxx. Can you imagine the guilt a kid would feel, knowing that?!?
purplehorseshoe - In the case of this guy, he wasn’t even sure if the child born in the marriage was his. Apparently his wife was sleeping with anything with four legs. To the point where he took the kids trick-or-treating and she had men come over. She was also a drug abuser. After they split, she shacked up with various boyfriends and neglected the kids. Even her parents testified against her parental fitness. He response when they questioned her lifestyle was “this is what I want. It makes me happy. Why don’t you want me to be happy?” He felt he had to save the kids from her. He didn’t regret a dime of it.
StG