I just recalled seeing a movie trailer from an old VHS tape that I watched a lot as a kid. Never saw the film, and I can’t for the life of me recall the name of the movie, but I knew a LOT of lines from the trailer. And this WILL drive me nuts until I figure out what the movie is based on my vivid, if somewhat unhelpful memories, and asstute film-buff deduction. And, if you guys are willing, some help from the Dope.
Now the VHS tape in question is that of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze. It MIGHT have been for the first or third TMNT movie, but a highly, up to a 98% certainty, doubt it. The trailer consisted of a teenage girl doing a monologue about her ‘crazy family’. Typical family comedy film, and it would fit the general audience that would be watching this VHS tape. I could discern no notable actors or actresses in the film.
The lines from the film(along with the scenes shown, as best as I can remember) are:
(The opening monologue describes how her parents got together, then separated, and there are a lot of extra family members to think about because of their separate relationships.)
She discusses her dad: “My dad’s 40. Looks like he’s 30. Thinks like he’s 20, and acts likes he’s 10. He’s fun to play board games with.” (There’s a little slew of scenes showing a white man in his mid-30s to early 40s with dark-brown hair doing non-descript goofy hijinks)
The the trailer shifts to her dad’s new Girlfriend/Wife/SO. Daddy is on the phone with said SO, and SO says “It must be a bad connection”, starts slamming the phone on a desk, then puts it back to her ear and says, very calmly, “Is that better?”
Then there’s a little bit with some younger brother of hers who is into science-y things, and a glass test tupe apparatus explodes, then it cuts to ‘monologue girl’ in a bath rope and the kid talking. Kid: I tested it for Disome kind of chemical Monologue girl: “That…doesn’t come through your pores, does it?”
Monologue girl also talks about having two Brother-in-Laws(around her age), one who is nice, “Josh”, and the obvious handsome, charming love interest for monologue girl, and one who is mean, “Kurt”, who, as best as I can recall, fires a little air pistol at someone while they’re sleeping.
There are two more lines I member distinctly:
“I know what you’re thinking: We’re like the Brady Bunch from Hell.”
And, after the ‘trailer credits’ appear to start,
“Did you know it’s estimated that by the year 2000, one out of every three people will be a member of my family?”
I’ve been racking my brain(and the internet) at this for the past two days, and I can find no clues. Does anyone have any clues as to what the hell this movie is?
