I can’t claim to be an expert on India, but I have spent some time there, read a lot on the subject, and been close to many Indian people.
The role of women has made a lot of progress, and especially in cities women live lives that are comperable to those in the West. But women are still routinely married off by their families. Women are still secluded. A woman’s most important role is as mother, and most importantly mother of sons. Huge numbers of women die every year in “kitchen accidents” when they don’t bring in enough dowry or children. Female infancide and selective abortion are pretty common- mostly because dowries are a crushing burden.
In many places, a woman’s life is her children. In Hinduism, there are certain rites that men fulfill in ceromonies and women fulfill by getting married and giving birth. To lose your children is a tragedy on a much greater scale than it is here- it destroys your main purpose of life, may affect your chances of remaining married (and not being a beggar on the street) and brands you as unlucky and not devoted enough forever. On a practical scale, your male children support you when you get older. Without male children, you are looking at crushing poverty and lonliness (your husband and male offspring comprise your family. At best, some relative of your husband might take you on as a charity case, but it is a life of little joy) forever. Certainly not all Indian are like this, but it is not uncommon, especially in rural areas.
There are a few emotional differences that I noticed. There is a sense of resignation. A sense of “Well, this is my life and that is how it is and that is that”. Many of the women I talked to watched things like Sex and the City and knew that there was a different life out there- probably one they’d perfer to being married and forever at the whim of their husband. I sat on the bus next to a girl that was my age, and it was the first time she’d been out of the house alone- and it was only for the bus ride between her house and her mother’s. They know what it is like in America, and they arn’t shocked to see the freedom we have- sexually and otherwise- but they have this sense of understanding that that is not what they will ever have there. People feel kind of bad about it (although they disapprove of the number of extramartial affairs that go on here- many people expressed concern for how often Americans cheat on each other) but they accept it.
I think it’s a caste thing. People grow up understanding that there is a place in the world for them, and that is their place to stay. The poor seem much more accepting of being poor. The ultra-rich feel little shame or discomfort at how much better they live than most people. Even crime and criminals are accepted in a way as part of life.
Family is very important there, although I think a lot more people resent the control their familes have over them than we really think. Nepotism isn’t at all considered bad. It is your duty- your role- to help out your family. Your family is, of course, your biggest support system. But there are very intense feelings of guilt and shame and duty related to them. You’ve heard of the overbearing Jewish mother and the overbearing Chinese mother, but I think the Indian mother often wins them all. Very few people just get up and leave and see their families on holidays like we do here. Even if they live thousands of miles away, they still seek their families opinions and approval of things like what job to take.
I noticed that Indians never want to be without an answer. If you ask directions to someplace and they don’t know, they will make stuff up, or run around asking everyone they see, or puzzle at your guidebook maps for an hour. If you ask anyone on the street when the next bus to Delhi comes, everyone will give you an answer, but only a couple will be right.
But what was most interesting to me was despite these differences, we were all still so much the same.
, so I would be grateful if someone else could take a listen and, if possible, verify the BBC translation? Maybe Xash?