We’re moving soon, and we’re getting some strange questions from relatives. The really strange thing is that they seem to be serious.
For example, when one relative heard we were moving, her first question was, “Are you taking your piano?” Shortly after, another faraway relative asks if we’re taking our cats. Of course we’re taking our piano and our cats–they are much loved; are we expected to leave them behind? Then it occurred to me–I need retorts such as used to be found in the “Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions” feature that was in Mad Magazine. I’d like to come up with a witty retort, but I can never think of one in time.
And so, Dopers, I’m looking for your help. What “Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions” can I use the next time a friend or relative asks if we’re taking something that most people own and would never think of moving without? Furniture, mementoes, knick-knacks, appliances, car–whatever Snappy Answer you can come up with for household objects would be much appreciated. I want to be prepared the next time I get a call asking if we’re taking ___ on our move.
A: Of course! They’re such good eating, it’d be a waste to just throw 'em in the river!
A: They wouldn’t accept Jesus as their personal Lord and Saviour, so we had to burn them all at the stake as little furry witches.
A: We have to bring them – who else is gonna wash the dishes around here?
Q: Are you taking your piano?
A: No, just the strings.
A: Only if the ogre who lives under the piano wishes it.
(You knew I have a sick sense of humour, right? :D)
Q. Are you taking your piano?
A. No, it’s coming along on its own. It has legs, you know.
A. Why, do you want it?
Q. Are you taking your cats?
A. No. We’ll just get a new batch at our new location.
A. That depends. THEY know on what. (Said with a telling look at the aforementioned felines.)
(While you’re at it, do you want to take one of mine, too? She’s a good cat, but way too whiney.)
Q: Are you taking your piano?
A: Sadly we can’t, the room was built around the piano so there’s no way to move it.
Q: Are you taking your cats?
A: What cats?
Q: Are you taking your piano?
A: No, it’s great - the new place comes with an identical one.
Q: Are you taking your cats?
A: No, they’ll find us eventually
