Two of my co-workers began dating where I work. They kept it mostly professional and nobody had any problem with it. One day recently she came in with a black eye and the work schedule mentioned that he called out. Eyebrows were raised but nobody said anything.
The next day he was out again this time there was no notation of the reason for his absence on the schedule as is usual when someone calls out or takes a vacation day. Then people started poking around and public records showed that he was facing charges for assault and strangulation. Soon everyone knew that he had been responsible for beating up (and evidently strangling) his girlfriend.
I expected he would be fired.
She wants to stay with him because she “loves” him. Whatever. Not my problem.
My problem is that management not only didn’t get rid of the bastard they are circling the wagons around him. One co-worker decided the best way to deal with the problem would be to just avoid the guy. His reward: he was called into the manager’s office to have a sit down with the HR guy about being “civil” with his fellow employees.
I’m currently looking for a transfer to a different job at a different facility. I don’t want anything to do with it and don’t want to face having a “talking to” for avoiding this creep and his Stockholm Syndrome girlfriend. I don’t think I would handle a “talking to” well. I would probably end up fired myself after I’d had my say.
There were a couple of dudes some years ago that got fired for getting into a bar fight after work where the police became involved. I guess management likes the way this guy makes them feel when he gets under their desks or something.
So. Am I overreacting or is this situation as fucked up as it seems from the inside? Would you be able to act as if nothing happened around this cocksucking asshole?
I hope SS (I may steal the Stockholm Syndrome designation) deals with whatever it is that makes her think she deserves that treatment.
I hope Basher gets a conviction and some meaningful sentence to go with it.
Most comanpies have a clause where they can fire an employee for bringing the company into disrepute. This may come into effect if the dude is convicted of assaulting another employee.
I’ve been in a similar situation and my former company also supported the guy (I did NOT go back for more - he attacked me because I dared leave him and stayed gone).
He was eventually trespassed from my new workplace when enough managers from other departments asked why he was there so often when he had no connection with our company. He made them feel uncomfortable. My comfort had never been assessed or considered.
He played the victim, hardball. No-one understood how much he loved me and how devastated he was by my behaviour (leaving) how *provoked he had been (stayed gone). Many people were sucked in and felt they had to give him a ‘second chance’. The fact that they were giving him a second chance to attempt to kill me didn’t seem to strike anyone as odd.
I know other co-workers in his (my former) comany felt as you do. The more uncomfortable they were, the more management felt they’d be up for an unfair dismissal/hostile workplace lawsuit oif they asked him to leave. Eventually, because he didn’t really change, the number of police visits to his office caused them to encourage his transfer to another city.
You have my sympathy. Keep your head down and stay strong. You can get away when SS can’t, not even in her own head.
*And third and fourth - being a decent human is HARD, apparently.
Once the police get involved, management usually has to go with whatever they have written down in their company policies. Do you have an employee’s handbook or handout, the kind of junk they give you your first day that nobody ever reads or hangs on to?
It might be worth pointing out to somebody in management, particularly if you are close to the “fuck it, I’m leaving” point, that you feel somewhat threatened working with the guy. And again, they usually have to go with whatever their lawyers told them to put into ink.
If I was management at the company, I might be inclined to solve the problem by firing both workers. This is an employment at will state, and there is a potential for escalating violence. I’d rather pay to train new employees than risk workers/customers getting caught in the middle of a bad situation.
Until a legal conclusion is made making a ton of assumptions about what happened and how exactly it went down is sometimes hazardous. I’d assume HR is looking for some legal determination before they act.
Not nice, but if your company’s reputation is potentially on the line, and you have two employees in a situation that is currently legally undetermined, and has a probable 110% chance of escalating into a rippling workplace drama that will negatively impact the workplace and client relationships what would you do? Hope for the best or go surgical? Even if you terminate the alleged abuser she’s not going to give him up, and if she does dump him he might show up at work to confront her.
Huh. My workplace’s preparations for the latter situation include setting up extra security precautions for the stalked person, not telling them to gather their things and get the fuck out.
If a legal determination of fault / conviction has been made that’s further down the line than the OP scenario. At this point all we know is that these two people were romantically involved and had a violent dispute where a charge is pending. Also, some companies might have the resources for bodyguard protection and some might not.
If you are a pregnant woman also working at the company with these two and (per the OP) the alleged victim has expressed “she still loves him”, and management decides to terminate him, but not her you now (effectively) working side by side with a person who is joined at the hip with a potentially violent and unstable man who may decide to confront her at work if he gets aggravated enough.
Do you feel safe and productive in this environment or vulnerable and anxious?
I hope I would act with the same support and grace shown to me when I was in the similar situation (both before and after his guilty plea). YMObviouslyV.
Do we know for sure that he did this, or was he arrested for assaulting someone who assaulted his GF? Employers sometimes have to wait for a conviction. If you fire someone citing a criminal act who turns up not guilty at trial, plan on being sued.
There are plenty of easy bar altercation scenarios that could result in injuries of this nature being inflicted by other parties.
How about if any of the posters here got arrested for anything. Should you be fired from your place of employement? take it beyond arrest, a person is convicted of a felony. Should they not be able to work and support themselves?