I was verbally assaulted at work

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I was verbally assaulted at work, by a junior project manager no less.

It started as him asking me a question relating to the way I recorded field data during a recent field groundwater sampling event. I explained. He then said, well in the future it has to be done this way (which was also wrong), but I didn’t correct him. I just said “Ok in the future, I will do it the correct way”. It was a minor slip up, they happen, nothing life threating, I just took one less pH/EC read than I should have.

I thought the converstion was over and started to go back to what I was working on.

He then got all pissy and said in a raised tone of voice “Why do you have to have such a bad attitude about every thing?”

I was suprised, well caught off guard by this and said “What? What are you talking about?”

He then said “I am sick of your attitude you fucking worthless piece of shit”

:eek: :eek: :eek:

He stormed out of my office. I stood up and went out to the hall and said at him " You will never speak to me that way again." and turned back to go into my office. He turned around and came back down the hall at me as I was going back to my chair, he came in, slammed my door behind him. I hadn’t sat down yet, he cornered me and proceeded to yell and scream at me with his finger in my fcae “you fucking worthless peice of shit…” I was so freakin’ scared I pretty much forgot what he said after that, but I can reckon it wasn’t nice. I didn’t say anything, I was still :eek:

Then the senior projcet manager came in and got him out of my office. I was pretty shaken up. He aked if I was okay, I said I needed to go outside and calm down a bit. He said okay, we’ll talk in a bit.

So I went and talked to him, told him what had transpired. He was very much on my side. He said if I wanted to take the rest of the day off that would be fine. ( I am salaried so no loss of oay worries) He went to talk to freakout junior project manager.

While he was doing that I went to our office administrator and asked her to contact our branch manager who currently is at another office out of state, about the situation, she did.

So far this is being handled “in house” so to say. I’ll see where it goes. Our office admin said if she nor I were not happy with the “in house” response, she would take it to corporate HR.

At least I have people on my side. This junior project manager has only been working for the company for 6 months. I have been here two years. I have never had a bad review. Never been reprimaned and I get along with everybody. Our corporate clients really like me. I even got a kudos from the environmental regulators for a big report I wrote (“a pleasure to read”). I think if I were a “worthless piece of shit” with a “bad attitude”, somebody would have notice it by now and I probably wouldn’t still be working here.

I personally would like to see him fired, but I have no idea where this is going to go.

2

I dunno, sounds to me like you have a pretty bad attitude.

:dubious:

:rolleyes:
The guy shouldn’t even have the chance to pack his red stapler, he should have been shown the door immediately.

3

I’d still keep a private, detailed log of all the events as the play out, just in case. Good luck to you, I am very glad they are backing you up in this. I am not certain if you are male or female, but had it been me (since I’m female) I might have been very tempted to call the police and report the assault, certainly if he did anything like it again I’d report it and maybe get a restraining order. I don’t put up with people assaulting me like that. Here in Kansas, what he did is considered assault and battery since he was threatening and cornered you as well as cursing at you etc. (Assault is verbal, battery is clenching fists and intimidating as well as actually striking.)

4

I’m normally more a “get-'em-away-from-witnesses-and-get-heavy” person, but then I’m built like a Sherman tank, and have a shaved head and an attitude. So far, I’ve seldom had to use it, but it’s held me in good stead. More sensibly though, I’d be taking Zabali’s advice. It’s good advice/

5

Just to add one caveat: think seriously before applying for a restraining order. I’m on one, and my biased opinion is that they are too easy to get. I’d push the in-house thing all the way first.

I’m not saying don’t apply for one, mind…

6

Yeah, it depends on if the fellow keeps on the same track or steps it up a notch. Adding, restraining orders can be easy to get, or very difficult here in the U.S.A., depending on the juridiction and the judge the appeal is made to. Some judges in this city won’t give one to a battered woman, period. They take the man’s side.

7

I agree that you are and should be upset (understatement here). Please pursue this with your inhouse resources.

Unfortunately, there will be times when we run up against @&%*!%$…and in a sense they hold us hostage…at least in our own minds. We feel bad/angry/hurt/resentful/abused/etc, and rightfully so. And the person who commits the assault feels like they “blew off Steam”.

That is so much BS!!! Please understand that there are people who go through life really messing around with other folks, and they don’t really care or get it. There are also other people who meet their responsibilities and are sensitive to other folks.

While it is little in compensation, remember that you can feel things they can’t. Like happy. Choose for yourself…I’m not sure those other folks can.

8

If he’s a junior project manager, and you seem to be higher on the pecking order, don’t you have the authority to fire him? I’m thinking, “Textbook Insubordination.”

It would be one thing if he had a discernible issue with a particular policy or decision, but just calling you names doesn’t reflect any way on you. The little child needs a reality slap upside the head, and a firm reminder that he’s not working in Daddy’s company any more.

Press for termination. You may not be the last person in that company he pulls that shit on.

Tripler
Press for termination–with prejudice.

9

Just a thought, which could be wrong since it’s off the top of my head, but no matter what they decide to go with, agree with them. If all you get is an akward apology, just accept it. This guy will be terrifed of even emailing you in the future, the brass will be happy with an in house resolution and it could end up making you more attractive in the corporate culture, if that kind of thing is your goal.

10

I agree, but I am the only one with the red stapler :smiley: [Milton]he took my stapler. it was a red swingline[/Milton]

Zabali, I am female. The thought did cross my mind to call the police to report it. But so far, I am feeling confident on the “in-house” thing so far. I am also keeping a log, including the events of today. I am out of the office all day tomorrow, so that will be nice as far as avoiding this dingleberry in the short term. If the in house thing does not go well, I will be taking it to corporate HR.

TLDog, I don’t think I’ll be needing a restraining order, it would be weird in our office of 15 people :slight_smile: I did want to kick his ass, but being that I am smaller than this guy. And the fact the he was in the Marines makes me think I couldn’t take him. Maybe it’s his pent up military agression or some crap. That crap my fly in the Marines, but in real life, no freakin’ way.

I came home and cleaned my guns to calm down. Maybe it’s something in that Hoppe’s 9 that does it. don’t worry folks, I wouldn’t shoot someone, I only like to shoot pop cans and paper plates and other small inanimate objects :smiley:

sunstone Every now and then sombody in the office will be snippy or short with somebody else, we all have bad days. That is excusable, what happened today is completely unprofessional and should never be tolerated. In my entire life (all 30 years of it) I have never felt as threatened as I did today. I did get to thinking of what might have happened if my senior manager wouldn’t have been around, it might have gone from bad to worse.

Tripler. I am just a staff geologist. As a project manager, he “outranks” me- how sad. It is also sad that he is 45 years old and can’t keep control of himself. Maybe he has “issues” :dubious: see the “Marines” comment.

The more I have thought about this, I really would like to see him fired, then maybe I can move up to project manager. I least I can control my temper in the office

I hope that there will be more than that. If not, like I said I will take it to HR and probably press for his termination. I believe that we have a right to work in a hostile free work place. Although, I hear a couple of other firms are looking for geologists…

That would be good
Them: whay are you quitting?
Me: because of jackass.
Them: :eek:

11

“Assault” is victim-speak. The guy was a jerk, he freaked out and went off on you.

Claiming assault, running to HR and trying to get him fired so you can move up probably isn’t going to win you a lot of respect points. It is going to get you a reputation though. How you deal with this is how people are going to view you and how you deal with problems for the rest of your career. At least at your current place of employment.

Is this guy seriously insane, or just a jerk you can’t handle?

I’m not trying to be an insensitive jerk about it, but I’m a guy and you’re a woman. If I were there and saw and heard what was going on, I’d probably side with you. On the other hand, imagining I just work there and didn’t see it happen, I’m thinking “how convenient. She claims assault, gets him fired and conveniently moves up the latter. Better stay away from her. I’ve seen the run-to-HR-and-get-people-fired-women before.”

12

He sounds gone to me. Update us and let us know.

13

Whoah, what?! When did she ever say she wanted to get him fired so she could move up the ladder?! LVgeogeek, correct me if I’m wrong, but it sounds like she likes what she does, and if she wanted to be a manager instead of doing field work, that’s what she’d be doing.

14

Reread the OP, he’s well beyond just jerk, he was actively psycho. You just don’t do that in a workplace, period, and if this is let slide in any way he’s going to learn he can get away with it.

15

In no way I condone what this guy did but I’m thinking that he has some personal issues to work out. What happened before the freak out didn’t merit his response, so I’m guessing that it was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

It was still a douche-bag thing for him to do.

16

And if that at all enters your head, as you personally would think this and it’s not just your hypothetical guess at how some clueless malcontent in an office would think, then you probably need to reassess your ideas about what’s acceptable behavior and what isn’t.

17

I think levdrakon’s post is being misunderstood. That post is just outlining the realities of a modern workplace, rather than defending them.

18

I don’t think the post is misunderstood at all. Maybe he has a “shaved head and an attitude”, too, and is a “get-'em-away-from-witnesses-and-get-heavy” type pf person.

If this type of activity, to you, is considered “normal” in the “modern workplace”, I can understand why you view others taking out restraining orders as being too easy of a process.

19

Imagine if LVgeogeek was describing this as something her husband did to her. There would be not one single Doper who would tell her to put up with it. There would be 3/4 posters telling her to divorce immediately, and another 1/4 who would ask for her address so they could go beat up her husband. This behaviour was completely, 100% unacceptable for the workplace. How is she supposed to work with someone who might snap and assault her again? Make no mistake, what he did was assault at least, and battery as well probably - that’s not victim-speak - those are the legal charges that can be laid against him.

I wouldn’t wait for my bosses to make decisions on this, LV - I would tell my bosses what they need to do with a guy who will assault a staff member. You have every right to feel safe at work, period.

20

Actually, I’m pretty much a pussycat. I can’t help being big and scary, and being human, yes I’ll use it if I have to. I can count instances of “having to” on a couple of fingers, and I’ve been on the planet thirty-six years.

I just worry that the restraining order is a whole new level of angst, and might not be necessary in this instance.

The activity I’m considering “normal” isn’t a simply matter of physical intimidation. It’s a matter of office politics, and abuse of systems designed to protect people. And I’m not equating “normal” with “just”. I’m ranting on the modern corporate environment, and no I don’t like it either.