The OP said this, and if I were her boss and read it, I’d wonder what her motivation was.
I didn’t say it should be let slide, just that the OP should consider how she’s going to handle it, and how the way she handles it could be perceived.
Again, I didn’t say it’s acceptable behavior.
And to add: By taking an abusive supervisor aside and giving him the “big guy, shaved head, attitude” treatment, even if I were to do it, all I am doing is using attributes I have (physical size) to counter attributes he has (superior job title), and it would be him rather than me that was the first to step outside the bounds of acceptable corporate behaviour. If somebody stands over me, shoves their finger in my face, and calls me a piece of shit, simply by virtue of the fact that they feel safe because I am their workplace subordinate, then YES I will consider doing something similar to them if I have an edge in another way. No, it’s not my first choice, and no I never throw the first proverbial punch. This big, “scary”, shaved-headed guy is happy sitting in his cubicle printing out reports and wishing passers-by a nice day. Folks who START shit, on the other hand…
I think many of us have “freaked out” on the job. The question is what does “freaking out” mean when one does it? Does it just mean yelling at someone “You’re fucking up the whole thing, dammit; you’re going to make the whole project a month late!” (without getting closer than about two yards from yellee [over top of workspace divider], nor making any threatening gestures)* – basically chewing somebody up overmuch for a (real or perceived) major fuckup – or is it something like what is being described in the OP: cornering the object of one’s wrath, personal insults (rather than topic-related screaming), and threats of physical violence?
Case 1 (personal experience :o) – happens. Unless you’re a saint, probably has happened or will happen to you someday (you being everyone here, not necessarily or specifically the OP.) Best thing is to make sure instigator realizes it was not cool and must not happen again, and move on.
Case 2 (described in OP) – Guy is psycho, and will do this again if allowed to continue. Needs very serious smack-down if not termination, and must not be tolerated.
She was cornered in her own office by this co-worker…and you think she should be more concerned about how her reactions are viewed?
The OP is smaller than the Project Manager.
The OP is female, the Project Manager is male.
The OP is a geologist, the Project Manager is an ex-marine.
The Project Manager came into her office and shut the door, baled her up in a corner and started shouting at her from a very close proximity. The Senior Project Manager had to remove him from her office.
And you, levdrakon, are more concerned about the OP using “victim speak” and what she may be “perceived” as if she takes this further?
That is fucked up beyond all reckoning. Like, seriously - What the FUCK?
The OP was afraid for her safety. The actions of the Project Manager aren’t the actions of someone who was just “going off” at her. The actions of the Project Manager were those of someone who wanted to make the other person fear for their safety. That sounds a lot like assault to me. At the very least he’s making for an EXTREMELY hostile workplace. Is LVgeogeek supposed to just let bygones be bygones and tiptoe around this fucker in case he “seriously” goes mental next time and tries to do something like, I dunno, hit her a few times?
Count me in on the fire his ass bandwagon. Regardless of how upset you are at someone you work with, there’s no justification for physically threatening them - especially if you expect to keep your job.
Based on what I know, I am very much on the side of the OP. But beyond that, all I can say is, “Dude, I don’t ever want you on my jury.”
LVgeogeek, so sorry to read about this, utterly inexcusable behaviour on his behalf. I’m surprised that as a PM he’s considered to ‘outrank’ you though. PMs inhabit a weird place in most organisations, we sit off to the side with noone directly reporting to us except for during the project lifecycle and even then we need to get approval from functional managers if we need any the project team to devote more time to our project.
As you might have guessed I’m a project manager as well (although your age rather than your in house nutters age) and apart from the occasional snipe when I’ve pulled an 18 hour day, for which I apologise profusely, I’ve been told that I’m one of the PMs that people like to see on a project when they are assigned to it. Although this might be due to the fact that I will often cover late work myself and tell those team members with families to get home and be with them 
this was a joke. I don’t want to be a project manager right now. Maybe in a few years, when I have a broader understainding of my field. I have only been woking at this job for two years. I still need my licensing from the state, which is more than a year away before I can take the exam.
and this project manager has been hard on me prior to this. When he was hired, I was one, along with senior manager, to train him to get him up to speed on procedures, projects etc.
co-workers of mine have stated, without my mentioning it that he was hard on me and they didn’t understand why. I even had one cw tell me he didn’t think he (junior pm) was fit to be a pm.
The guy has issues, and whatever they are, i hope he gets them worked out. I do just hope that his actions are not limited to a slap on the wrist. he has to know that you cannot treat co-workers like underling soldiers.
well, I have to get to work, got a long day of field work today.
I’ll update later.
A serious case could be made for kidnapping. That’s right. Kidnapping. When he closed the door and cornered her he was restraining her against her will.
She needs to talk to the police and see what her options are. Not that she has to take any of them, just so that she will be informed.
Bullies need to be smacked down. Every time.
While I’m not familiar with US military law at all, I believe that kind of treatment is also unacceptable in general (there may be exceptions for specific situations).
One of the ways to tell whether a Spaniard has a military background is their absolute lack of use of profanity while managing to have incredibly foul language. If they can cuss everybody’s ancestors to the nth generation, referencing the foulest and most varied sexual and scatological practices, whithout a single actual “bad word” or “profane expression”… non-com! My ex-sergeant boss would, for example, refer to a blowjob as a “fruit salad”; the accompanying gestures (also non-standard ones) left no doubt as to intent. If they refer to your ancestor’s fault by the technical name… officer! “Miss, I am beginning to consider that your grandfather may have had a taste for the fellation of monkeys. However, it is still not acceptable for you to (etc etc)”
A serious case could be made for my mom, sister, brother and me having each other thrown in jail for kidnapping and cornering each other and hurling obscenities.
Thank God mom didn’t call the cops every time I cornered her and “assaulted” her. Thank God I didn’t have her arrested every time she “assaulted” me.
I was after all, male, bigger, with a shorter hair cut than her. Oh, and gosh, I served in the military too, so I was quadruply bad.
I realize you are being a smartass here, but no, it couldn’t. The relationship of a parent to a child is not the same as the relationship of two unrelated adults. I am surprised that you did not know this.
Edit: Nice household you grew up in. I expect that explains why you see this behavior as unremarkable. Rest assured, it is neither normal, nor proper, and in fact is illegal.
Gimme a break, normal family boy.
As for two adults in a professional situation, I’d get called a pussy if I went crying to HR, called the cops, got someone fired so I could advance every time someone talked mean to me.
How is it where you are, bizzaro-dude?
Gladly. I am sure you could use several.
None of which has happened here. Your characterization of what did happen as “talking mean” is dishonest to the point of lying.
No HR, I’m afraid. I’m self-employed. But the behavior exhibited by the junior project manager is illegal everywhere in the US, as far as I know. Add to it that he is a male ex-Marine and she is a woman who is smaller than he, and one is left to wonder just why you feel the need to whitewash his behavior. Does it strike a bit too close to home?
And that scares you? Pussy.
Do you really hate women that much? See, I’m married to an Army Major and she wouldn’t go for the whole “ooh, I’m a victim” thing. Maybe you should meet some real women, 'cause I gotta tell ya, most of my friends are, and they’re pretty cool.
That junior PM’s behavior is absolutely unacceptable under any circumstances in the workplace and LVgeogeek did the right thing.
levdrakon, you are seriously off in the weeds here.
I really have no idea what you are on about here. No, I don’t hate women, and nothing I have said would indicate that. Your conclusions are getting progressively more bizarre. Are you drunk? On something? Seriously, you are not making sense here.
Macho much? That kind of behaviour might be all right out in the field, where ya gotta be roughy tough to hunt down enemies and all, but a business place is supposed to be where people behave as though they have been civilized. He did not just ‘talk mean’ to her; he was angry far in disproportion to the event which caused it, and he called names and insulted her inappropriately.
If you have that much trouble distinguishing between appropriate and disproportionate behaviour, I’m interested to know how you fare in your own workplace. And what sort of workplace that might be.
It doesn’t sound to me like she did that much. The Senior Project Manager came in and difused the situation, set the ball in motion, and started dealing with it. At this point her choices are:
Lie and say “it wasn’t a big deal, this is acceptable.”
Support whatever actions are taken by telling the truth
Push for more action.
She’s doing #2. She doesn’t need to do number 3 (which it sounds like much of her office would support - perhaps this guy has a history of jerk and everyone was waiting for him to blow up enough to be gone) yet.