Need some life advice... (LONG)

In My Humble Opinion
1

Okay, so I graduated high school, my GPA was pretty low (I wasn’t a big fan of home work), and I applied to a few colleges, but didn’t get in to any of them. However, I moved down to florida with my brother (he’s like a best friend to me), and a friend of his. While down here I was going to try to take some community college courses, and then get into University of Central Florida (UCF). Well, I ended up finding out about this school called Full Sail, its a technical school with really good equipment for the skills I am looking into. I enrolled and have since started school there. Now, theres something you must know about the school, its speeded up learning, I’ll graduate with my associates in my degree in 13 months from starting (12 more to go!). Well, the school is really hard, not sure if I can keep up with the pace they are going at, but thats a minor detail.

Now, before I moved down to Florida I lived in NH. A wonderful town called Portsmouth. I loved it there, I’m a winter person (yeah… florida, I know). Anyway, when moving down here I left behind all my friends and everything I’ve cared about (I know thats normal for college) but it takes me a long time make friends with someone, I’m a quiet person… normally. Ever since I moved down here to florida I’ve been pretty miserable.

Now, the big question (which you might have already thought of by now) is if I should stay down here in florida and continue my schooling and move up North again after I’m done. Or should I move up to NH again with all my friends, attend University of New Hampshire (if I can get in, which is a big delay) and hell, there is even an old girl friend (a girl that was a friend, not a girlfriend) that I’m pretty interested in who lives up there, and has expressed the same interest in me.

Upon moving up I’d feel like i was letting down my Mom, because she has worked so hard on helping me set stuff up and funding for all this down here. And I would also feel like I was letting my brother down too, because he is starting at the same college I am in another month. He’s an older brother if that makes a difference, i don’t know.

I just don’t know what to do. I mean, I would definately be happier in NH again, however I’m sure I’d get a better education if I stayed down here. Although being miserable does effect how you perform in school, and I had a midterm on friday… lets just say it wasn’t a nuke, but there definately were some cluster bombs planted. (I bombed the test if you didn’t understand). I know no one else can make this decision for me, but I’m just wondering what some of you would do in this position.

If there is anything else you need to know about my situation, feel free to ask. And thanks in advance for the advice! :slight_smile:

2

A good friend of mine graduated from the Full Sail school a couple years ago. Now he is the producer of a spanish rock station and doing what he always dreamed off. I know its hard, sometimes we’d be out on a saturday night and he’d leave in the middle of the night because he had a class at 1am on a saturday (!!), but it was well worth it. Thirteen months is not that long really, i say hang in there!

3

Full Sail is an awesome school. A band I used to play in recorded there once, and we were just in awe of the facilities. It’s expensive, too, but you have a rare opportunity to study there. Make the most of it. I’ve always suffered with depression and I know how frustrating and debilitating things can feel, but you really are at a great place. And then Orlando and South Florida apparently have lots of job opportunities in your related fields–I’m not sure how it would be up north, but I imagine the economy may have hit things harder up there. You can make friends anywhere if you open yourself up to it, but getting a good job isn’t always so easy.

4

Staying down here after I graduate would not happen. Not in a million years, don’t care what kind of money I am making. I don’t like florida and do not want to live here.

However, I do know Full Sail is a great school. But how am I supposed to study and do well if I’m depressed and miserable? Yeah, I know… I’m being pessimistic, just my nature I guess.

sigh

5

One question to ask is are you really, medically depressed? If you are, that probably requires medical help, or at least counseling.

But if you’re not, and I think from the tone of your note that you’re not, I think not only do you have a chance to learn at a great school, you have a chance to grow up in an important way. Setting and achieving a long-term goal like this is a very mature thing to do. 13 months is definitely doable. Orlando, while maybe not where you want to live, is a very popular place to visit. Can you arrange for some of your NH friends to come and visit? If these friends are really good friends, they’ll find ways to stay in touch. And if they won’t do that and you’re out of sight, out of mind, they were definitely not worth moving back to NH and dropping out of school for.

At this stage in your life, don’t just worry about letting down your mom and brother, but ask if you are letting down your own expectations. You have one life to live, so make it a life you’re proud of. My guess is your friends will be very pleased and impressed with your accomplishments when you get back to NH.

6

No, I’m not medically depressed, atleast I don’t think so. Never bothered to have it investigated.

I had a good friend of mine from NH come and visit not too long ago. Problem is its decently expensive for them to come down, plus they have school and work to attend. I’m definately keeping in touch with them, hell I think I talk to them all daily on AIM.

Its not like I want to move back home to have mommy do bills and things for me. (and I don’t think you meant that I did, just clarifying) Infact, one of my friends wants me to move back up so we can get an apartment together, as he is having some personal family issues.

Nitpick: I’m actually in Winter Park, but your right, thats right next to Orlando :slight_smile:

I dunno, seems like I’m trying to convince myself that its okay, more than trying to convince you guys. Doeth!

7

Something that might make a difference in the opinions of you is that originally I didn’t really want to come down here from the start. But my mom just kind kept nudging me into it, which I don’t blame her, its a good education I have the opportunity to get.

8

Pal, if you hadn’t already embarked, different answers might be possible. But now that you have started, I’d have to recommend you gut through it. Two things you might consider: 1.) a year is not really a very long time - your friends in NH aren’t going to disappear in that time and the long term benefits of staying the course easily outweigh the short term benefits of blowing off the stress right now, and 2.) it’s quite possible that if you bail now, you’re going to get back to NH and be really bummed out - mom and bro’ disappointed, with you knowing you dropped an opportunity - eck!

And my response might be different if you sounded as if you were thinking of bailing to pursue another, more fruitful path. That’s not what I get from your posts.

A year is not really a very long time.

Good luck with it Jukaal.

And let us know how it’s going.

9

Suck it up. It’s only one year.

10

Its not like I’d be blowing off the stress though. I’d still be going to school. Not like I’m gonna go back up north and just party all the time. I think my life as a whole might be happier up there. Course, I can’t predict the future… so I just have to guess.

and Tenebras , I don’t really need responses like that. They’re not helpful. I appreciate your input, but would rather people who have though stuff through a bit more than “Suck it up”. Theres a lot more at stake here than for such an easy answer.

11

Jukaal, you say if you go back to NH, you’d be going to school. From your post, it sounds a lot more like you’d be one of the many people I knew who “have plans to probably go back to school.” For a lot of them, it never materialized. If you are someone who always found it hard to get motivated for school, you will probably have an even harder time getting motivated for college the longer you put it off, since you won’t have the excitement of starting with all of your friends to keep you moving along. You’ve got some momentum going in FL, stick with it and it will be over before you know it.

12

I’ve never had problems getting motivated to get into school. Plus I know a few people would kick me in the ass if I didn’t get into school up there and get things going.

I know I should stay down here and go to school, but I just can’t help wanting to go back.

13

OK here’s the long version;

  1. You blew high school, because homework wasn’t your thing.
  2. You didn’t get into any of the colleges you applied to.
  3. Your mommy found you an awesome school to go to and appears to be footing the bill.
  4. You’ve given it your best shot (1 whole month, count it 1)
    but
  5. You miss your friends
  6. Because you miss your friends you can’t really be expected to study and do well (what with all the im’ing all day)
  7. So you’ve essentially talked yourself into failure.

Wait a minute!! You’re right. I didn’t think this through. :smack: Don’t suck it up. Throw away your best shot at an interesting career and run back to NH. Get an apartment with your buddy, you can probably get a job at Walmart or McDonalds’ to pay your share of the rent.
Then next September, just about when you would be graduating from Full Sail, you can go back to school and start over. I’m sure that the colleges that rejected you in the first place will be falling all over themselves to enroll you after they see your history at Full Sail.

14

Sorry, I’m with Tenebras. You sound like an fairly lazy and highly distractable young man who desperately wants nothing more than to get back to the comfort of his high school buds, and is mainly concerned, not about getting in his life in gear, but in “disappointing” people, and potentially getting left behind by his friends, who are getting on with their lives.

You are being given a golden opportunity with this “Full Sail” school. Don’t screw it up with making up immature, half baked notions of what you “will do” if you go back home. Going back home is the absolute worst thing you could do at this stage. You’re a full grown man, it’s time to stop being a baby, get serious about school and finish the work. It’s time to grow up and stop fucking around.

15

Ok, you’re in a school now in which you can get an awesome education. If you move back, you MIGHT get into a school in New Hampshire.

You’ll be graduating in one year if you stay where you’re at. If you move back, you’ll be graduating four years from when you start, IF you’re accepted.

You don’t say, unless I missed it, how long you’ve been in Florida. I’m assuming just a couple of months? If so, it’s perfectly normal and acceptable for a person to feel homesick and depressed shortly after moving to a new area. Quite a few first year college students go through this sort of thing. You’re away from friends, family, and the security you’ve come to expect. Bombing the exam would of course just add to the feeling of being overwhelmed.

Based on these things, I’d advise you to give it a bit more time. Really give it a shot there, knowing that it’s not forever. It does take a while to make friends, but realize that most everyone there is probably going through the same thing.

Hope this helped a bit.

16

It seems to me that you’re homesick. You’ll get over it. Stick with Full Sail.

17

Okay now let me show you the truth

  1. I didn’t BLOW high school, just didn’t do as good as I could have, which many people have done.
  2. That was because I was choosing relatively hard schools to get into in the first place, not to mention than with my lower than average GPS. Besides… I got into Full Sail now didn’t I?
  3. My mommy didn’t find shit, I suggested it to her, and she loved the idea. And not only that but she isn’t fitting the bill. I happen to have gotten lucky and have a college fund that was set up by my grandmother when I was little (Not even on my moms side), which is enough to cover the school. (and I know I’m lucky to have that, and I am appreciative of it)

but

  1. I miss my friends, oh sorry… I can’t have feelings being a student? Gee, yay.
  2. Not because I miss my friends, but because I can’t concentrate on school if I’m always being pessimistic (and don’t tell me not to be, because I can’t help it). I have classes 8 hours a day currently. Soon it will move up to 12 hours a day every day of the week.
  3. I’ve not failed anything now have I? Because I didn’t get 100 on a test does not mean I failed it, nor does it mean that I will fail the class all together. I studied 15 pages of notes the night before the test.

Ontop of all that, I never applied to UNH, so I was never rejected. Chances are I could get accepted. No problems there. And if anything I would have MORE of a chance to get into the other schools I applied to (if I even wanted to) because they are more willing to accept transfer students than new ones.

Think about it, because you apparently didn’t.

18

Astro, did you read my post? Going home in my words simply returning to NH. Has nothing to do with my phsyical old house home or my mother.

I infact don’t think my friends are “getting on with their lives”. Most of them live at home right now, and do next to nothing. I consider myself to be ahead of them in the game, if anything. And as I said in a previous post, they are not “half-baked” notions of what I would do, I garuntee you I would get into the college and get things done. You guys seem to be taking this as another “I wanna go back and live at home and have mommy do all my bills and laundry and stuff for me”. You’re not getting past that and seeing that I have thought this through.

Amberlei and qts, I appreciate your inputs. Rather than beat down on me, you decide to project your opinions and thoughts onto me in a civilized manner. And for Amberlei, I have been here in florida for 4 months. I considered myself homesick the first month when I wanted to go home so desperately. But that went away, and now I’ve had time to experience everything Winter Park has to offer.

19

Maybe I have some personal experience that might be helpful. For what it’s worth-

When I left my hometown to go to college, I was pretty miserable. I hadn’t wanted to go in the first place, but my family was kind of pushy about it. ( I was only 16, and I don’t think I was quite ready. But that’s neither here nor there.) I went anyway. I was sad and a little scared once I got to the new city. I had a large group of close friends back home and I missed them terribly. College was harder than I’d expected.

Long story short- After about six weeks of homesickness and adjusting, I woke up one day and realized that I was pretty much okay. I had figured out what was expected of me, school-wise. It wasn’t a whole lot easier, but I was better prepared. I had also made friends in my classes and met more through those people. While I didn’t keep those same friends for very long, I met people through other people and eventually made some of the best friends I’ve ever had.

My friends back home, for the most part, stayed there. We wrote letters, chatted online, talked on the phone and saw each other at holidays. It’s still that way, many years later. I no longer live in the city I went to school in, but I wouldn’t be where I am (Generally, not locationally speaking.) if I hadn’t stuck it out.

My advice- Hang in there. It sounds like you’re going to quite a good school. You will make at least a few friends in class, even without trying too hard. A year will fly by, with you being busy at school and possibly work. I’ll bet your friends will be almost exactly where you left them 12 months from now. Basically, you’ll adjust. Really.

20

Thank you Hyperjes, I do appreciate it. That the type of advice I should be hearing, rather than “Suck it up, stick out you pussy, don’t go running home to mommy”

The only thing I see different about our situations, is that I have a real hard time making friends. (I don’t care if that makes me a loser, or if it makes me anything, its how I am)