I'm young, SICK of my job, and want to go back to school. Thoughts?

In My Humble Opinion
1

I apologize in advance for the steam of consciousness that may follow. Something sort of snapped in my brain tonight after a long, long build up (as some of you may have derived from some of my earlier threads) and I really need to get this off my chest – and this is one of the few places I know that I can vent my feelings. Basically, I’m just looking for general advice and/or answers to the questions I have way, way below.

**My life in a nutshell: **I’ll be 23 next month. I moved out of my parent’s house a little over a year ago for my then ‘Dream Job’ in San Francisco, making 40k a year as a tech-writer of sorts. Now a year later, I’m fucking sick of it. I spend most of the day screwing off surfing the web and have found my projects taking me longer and longer to complete. I still output good work, but I find it damn near impossible to concentrate anymore, and have realized surfing the Internet all day isn’t a fulfilling life.

Also, my social skills are pretty poor – I generally lack confidence, and am often afraid to speak to others. I have never had a girlfriend. I only have one good friend I’ve made since I moved, and I’m still afraid of speaking with some people at work because I’m intimidated by them. I have several friends back home, but I’ve barely talked/seen most of them since I moved.

As you can probably guess, I’m not happy with my life. My job is boring, and my social life non-existent. Most weekends I sit home, reading this freakin’ forum all day (not that I don’t live this place, but I can only take so much of you guys :wink: In short, my life needs change, and I want to do it pretty much ASAP before I become too set in my ways / too old for change to be feasible.

What helped prompt this? Over the Christmas break, I flew back home and got to see what of my best childhood friends. He’s just about graduated from college and also just got back from a 3-month stay in Norway. It sounds like he had a blast in college and on his trip and made me realize how shallow my life truly is. Sure, I have a job and money, while he doesn’t and is currently poor, yet he has a ton of friends and is happy (or at least seems to be), whereas I’m not.

I think going back to school may be my best option. It would allow me to explore other career paths, and hopefully help me re-engage with people (and girls!!!) my age, and hopefully (oh god how I hope) sharpen my social skills. But I’m woefully ignorant when it comes to college. Sure, I took 2 years of community school (which I can hopefully still use the credits for), but I don’t know where to go or what to do. Hence these problems:

What do I major in? I was taking writing courses in community college, and I’m still semi-interested in it. But as my most recent thread also mentioned, I’d love to learn more about film, yet from the sounds of it, film school is not a good way into the industry

**What school do I go to? **I don’t have a ton of money (11k saved), but I also don’t want to go to a non-respectable school either. How do I narrow this down? Any suggestions for schools known for their writing programs (that aren’t insanely expensive)?

What about deadlines? It’s almost the end of January; do I still have time to apply at schools for the next year? Can one only join college at the beginning of the year, or can one join between quarters/semesters?

Well, I think I’ve got all that off my chest. Sorry if I was a bit heavy with the details, I just wanted to provide some context as to the desperation I’m sort of feeling. I would love to hear any of your guys’ thoughts about anything I said and/or answers to the questions I asked above. Thanks for hearing me out.

2

Have you considered evening classes?

3

I uggest keeping the job, whatever your ultimate choices. Look into whether your employer will subsidize further education, and then report back to us.

4

can one join between quarters/semesters?
Yes. One can even go to summer school if one desires.
Just wanted to encourage you a bit - I went back to college at about 22 or 23 years old, and did well (much better than the first go-round). Good luck.

5

I’d be cautious of going back to school for a social life at 23. College as a 19 year old college student living in the dorms is a blast - but you have one shot at that, its very hard to do it if you don’t do it right out of high school (or with a year, maybe two delay). My experience as an adult student was that I made few friends, didn’t have a college “life” and showed up in class. And I know few people who managed a college life. i.e. college undergrads aren’t “your age” - they are six to two years younger than you - and the ones that are only a year or two younger than you are about to graduate, where you’ll just be starting - even with the transfer credits.

6

If you enjoy writing and want a “trial-by-fire” for improving your social skills, may I suggest journalism? You’ll get to improve your writing in many different ways and areas – hard news is like nothing else for learning to be precise and concise, while you’ll get to delve and explore different ways of telling a story with feature writing. Journalistic writing also teaches you to learn and follow a style – usually Associated Press style – and even if you don’t write news for a living, consistency is useful wherever you end up.

As far as the social aspect goes, I’m an introvert. My journalism writing (and photography) classes were some of the most difficult I ever took, because they forced me to learn how to approach people. On the other hand, they also help – if you have a notebook and a voice recorder in your hand, not to mention a deadline, you have an excuse to talk to people. It might seem unfathomable to walk up to a girl at a bar and say “Hi, I’m Red, what’s your name?” now, but it becomes indescribably easier to say, “Hi, I’m Red with the University News, and I’m working on a story about the new ordinance banning smoking. Can I talk to you for a few minutes?”

Just something to consider. I’m about the same age as you, so I’m not established in the career or anything, but I’d be happy to answer any other questions about it should you have them (there are a few other dopers who have more experience in the field as well).

7

If you’re making 40K at 23, without even a bachelor’s degree, I’m sorry man but do you realize how lucky you are??? Take some music lessons and join a rock band if you want to be more popular. I’m sorry I don’t have more sympathy for you - when I was your age, I was living in a car.

However, on second thought your use of “output” as a verb makes me think perhaps there’s some merit to getting the hell out of corporate culture. It’s not healthy.

Oh but, back to the OP, stay put dude. Start bankrolling some of that money (if you have no dependents and low debt it shouldn’t be too hard) and when you’re 40, you can retire and do whatever the fuck you want for the rest of your life. If I had a 40K job at a young age that’s what I would’ve done.

8

They pay you 40K to surf the Internet all day? In S.F.? And you didn’t finish college?

And you’re complaining? :dubious:

I think the above suggestion makes sense (some kind of part-time or night classes). (I wouldn’t quit the gig you have now.)

Wait a minute…you’re the guy who wants to go to film school! (You never did explain what kind of film you’re interested in.) Now you just want us to tell you what to study in general.

If you enter into something just to meet women (when you’re 23, they’re “women”), my suspicion is that it won’t work. But if you enter into something because you enjoy it and/or are good at it, then it will work.

Red, You’ve only been in S.F for a year. In my experience, it takes at least as long as that to make any friends when one moves to a big city. It took me more than that when I moved from the Bay Area to L.A. But don’t worry, the women are there for you, and they’re not going away. More importantly, so are possible friends in general.

9

I’ll second this. You are young, and there is no reason you can’t work and have your employer subsidize your schooling, hell have someone pay for you to go back to school and then reap the bennies after that.

How about working for the institution you wish to go back to school at and getting yoru education for free. I highly, HIGHLY recommend working for a college and having them pay for your education…That’s what I did to make it through grad school and when I was done with my masters I kept going because I was doing well at my job and they’d pay to have me finish my P.h.d. I was sort of a jokster back then and adult kid, but I made a lot of friends and even some lifelong friendships came from that experience.

10

It’s possible that your problems with work stem not from the nature of the work but from other things–loneliness and depression can you make you bored with anything, even things you’ve previously enjoyed and should find interesting or fulfilling. Of course, I don’t know–maybe the work really IS a bad fit, but before you disrupt your working career it might be worth making sure.

One thing I might suggest is looking into something like the Jaycees or other volunteer organization, or club that related to interests of yours. If you can find one which regularly takes in new members, being “the new guy” to the organization will be no big deal–you’ll be one of several. You may meet more people, get more connected with the city, and feel better about life. And then be able to think more clearly about going back to school or whatever else.

11

I’m sorry, but you do realize that 40K a year isn’t shit, right? Not in San Francisco which has one of the most expensive housing markets in the country. And with 2 years of community college and no social skills, he’s not going to make much more than that.
I wouldn’t worry about being a little older than your average college student. You develop social skills by being around and interacting with social people. Few venues provide you with the opportunity to be around social people like college. Just make sure you get involved in plenty of activities and don’t spend every weekend playing videogames or watching TV in your dorm or whatever.

Also, you want to go to the best college you can get into. It matters. Even just taking the socialization into account, I find that the people who came out of the better schools are generally more polished than those people who come from the state schools.

Also, in regards to social skills, it may not be intuitive, but it helps to be a bit of a cocky asshole. But in a good natured way. It’s much easier to speak to people when you think you’re freakin awesome. Plus people generally like talking to people.

Oh and make sure you dress well. Not like in a suit or anything, but like put together as if you actually own a mirror. People tend to be more receptive if you don’t look like a slob or a weirdo.

12

I would keep the job and take classes on the side until you’re sure what you want to do. I quit my job to go back to grad school and have the same job I could have had without ever going. It’s not worth it if you aren’t sure what you want and exactly how to get there.

Taking classes on the side, even just fun ones, will put the job into perspective and get you meeting new people.

13

Going back to school to meet people is a bad idea. It is a really expensive way to hopefully make a few friends. Might I suggest you go online and find a group that you could participate in to meet people? I have lived in NYC for almost 7 months and though I don’t have a new best friend or anything I am a member of a book club, a group called The Lunch Club that does everything-seeing off broadway plays together, going to museums, book swaps, lunches, etc. In a week or two they are doing a scavenger hunt at the AMNH, so I get to go to an awesome museum and meet people at the same time. You could easily find a group of people with similar interests who would like to meet you. In fact, check out the lunch club…I believe they have a branch in SF.

14

That sounds so cool! I think I am going to sign up. :smiley:

15

It really sounds to me, as to other people, as if your job may not be the problem. Being lonely and depressed, that may be your problem. (And I know SF is expensive, but I have a master’s degree and this year I got a raise to 38K. This is the highest paying entry level job in my field in town. You really may not know you’re in the catbird seat.) Have you considered taking classes that aren’t college classes? A cooking class, dance lessons, tennis lessons, join a chorus? I find it much easier to meet people if we’re there for a “purpose”, if there’s some structure in place.

16

I went through a very similar crisis when I turned 25 and thought that maybe going back to school would solve all my problems. Then I realised that I had these hazy happy memories of living in res with people my own age, and partying it up instead of going to class - not what I’d be doing if I went back and found myself 7 years older than most of my classmates.

If you’re looking to cure the dead-end blues, see if you can find some extra-curricular activities that scratch your itch. I volunteer every weekend at a local museum - it’s a great way to meet people (ie. the other volunteers), and it’s a fun time - and I’ve also given my time to one-off fundraising and arts events, and joined a monthly Stitch and Bitch circle.

If you’re into film, how about a film challenge? We have a local 24-hour challenge that gets teams to write, film and edit a short movie using specific restrictions (the most recent one required that the theme be horror, that the dialogue inclue the word “legend”, and that a fake bottle of poison appear as a prop). If you like writing, but want a new direction, how about volunteering for a local paper or independent 'zine? They’re usually begging for contributors, and that’s yet another way to meet people in your area with similar interests.

One thing I can say - there are few jobs, if any, where you’ll be happy to go into work every day and will always be kept busy doing something. My job is 90% fulfilling and 8% soul-crushing boredom, with 2% of OMFG-I-can’t-handle-this-anymore stress. If there are any redeeming qualities in your job, you might be better off staying where you are and working on getting to the next level within the field - a $40K salary at 23 ain’t half-bad (I was making around $23K at the same age, and I had a university degree to my name).

17

As others have noted, jumping into college at 23 in order to find your bliss is an extremely expensive experiment. Instead, explore the career paths FIRST. Do some research. What job do you want to have? If the answer is “anything but what I have now,” the problem isn’t (probably) the job, it’s you. After all, nobody is forcing you to slack off at work or read the Dope all weekend. If you really can’t be bothered to actually do your work at work, use your internet time to research the answers to all of these questions you have. Look at schools, look at possible career paths, look into social activities or classes in your area. Or, more importantly, look for other jobs. If you’re slacking off that much at work you will probably get fired soon.

If you narrow down a career possibility or two that really interest you - and that you realistically have the talent and ability to pursue - try to find out what you need to get entry-level jobs in those areas. Maybe more schooling would help, but in many fields, experience and connections are more valuable than a degree.

Keep in mind that “entry-level” jobs rarely pay as well as you’re getting now. I’ve never lived in SF, but I lived in Seattle and New York and it took years of working up in my field(s) before I started getting that kind of money. AND I still can barely afford rent. Have you figured out how are you going to pay for your living expenses while in school? Unless you’re planning on getting scholarships, grants and work-study, 11K won’t last you more than a semester, if that, at any decent school. A four-year degree will put you in tens of thousands of dollars in debt, with no guarantee you’ll be making a good living when you’re done. Are you ready for that? If you decide on school, I heartily agree with others here that you look into your current employer subsidizing school, or working at the school of your choice. Keep in mind you might need to work there for a certain period of time before you can ‘cash in’ on the free tuition.

18

You should totally sign up, Eyebrows of Doom! It is fantastic to really get a chance to do all sorts of new and interesting things with other people. I have learned so much about the city and been to many interesting events with The Lunch Club. And if you go to the scavenger hunt at the museum you and I can try to be on the same team…it would be kind of like a mini dopefest! :slight_smile:

19

Thanks for the recommendation! I am now scheduled for the scavenger hunt at Grand Central Station on Sunday. :slight_smile: I wanted to do the one at the Museum of Natural history, but I have a prior engagement for Feb 16. Too bad, it sounded like fun though!

20

Well, yeah. If you go to a real college and study a real major, college isn’t all bliss. The work itself can be stressful. Not to mention getting used to the social politics, especially as a slightly older student. (23 seems a lot older to an 18 year old than 28 seems to a 23 year old). You should figure out what you want to do and study and then go to the best school you can get in to.
And $40k at 23 is good, but you don’t want to be making $45-$50k at 30.