First, thanks all for the responses. Clearly I’m divided, which is why I sought some input. I guess, right now in my life, making money isn’t important. Sure 40k is a good amount, but what good is it if the rest of my life is lacking?
Oh, I know it would be expensive, but how would it be any worse than a student who just graduated high school?
Exactly, I think. I admit I have a pretty decent job for my age, but it’s a dead-end one as well, for the most part. The only position I could realistically move up to would be the one directly above mine, and it’s unlikely that’ll open up any time soon. To be honest, I almost wish I would get fired so I would be motivated to do something else with my life.
I guess, essentially, I’m having a quarter-life crisis. I’m afraid that I’ve missed out on some things, and would like to explore those options before it becomes really infeasible (I don’t think I would stand out amongst college kids – I don’t feel old, and I’m sure I wouldn’t be the only in school around my age…but I guess I could be wrong – though I didn’t feel out of place when I was in community college just a little over a year ago.)
I think the usual idea here is that you spend some time doing something that you are interested in, and meet others who are also interested in the same thing. The major pay-off is that you are doing something with your life that you enjoy.
To the OP, are there any places around you where you could socialize? For instance a good pub within walking distance? Don’t get stuck in the trap of thinking you can’t go out anywhere by yourself, as I did for many years when I was single. If you aren’t comfortable in a noisy crowded bar, go a little early when it’s quieter. You’ll find you soon start talking to the people there. You’ll start to feel like you belong there as people come to know you. Far be it from me to recommend bars as the solutions to people’s social issues, but a pint or two is wonderful after a good walk, and pubs provide a pleasant environment where you can socialize as much or as little as you please. The main thing, though, is to get out there.
I hate to say it but unless you major in something like engineering or finance (and even then, from top schools)-you’re pretty much only going to be making as much as you make now AFTER college. Possibly less. I made approx. 48K at 22 with a B.A. but that was during the dot-com boom years when everyone was throwing money around like crazy. I’m really surprised you’re making what you’re making (though good for you!).
College is really one of 2 things at this point-
a) Provided you do WELL and study the right type of subjects-a foot in the door to a good entry level position where you may be able to work yourself up to a decent salary through experience
b) A stepping stone to a professional degree where you jump over all the “experience” stuff because you have the right initials after your name (this only really applies to MD/PHD/JD/CPA, and then only if you do reasonably well…good MBA programs require experience before they take you)
What I see college as being for most people today is four mediocre years followed by entrance to low-paid relatively low-skilled white collar position. Except unlike pre-college, you have debt (unless your mom and dad are generous).
I can’t believe I’m typing such an anti-education post for the first time in my life but I will say that if you want to use education to make money/pull yourself up the financial and social ladder you need to take school pretty damn seriously to get good grades or have really good connections and charisma (both means you control the world). And, if you don’t have parents pushing you along, you have to have a LOT of drive and innate ambition. Figure out whether you have that before you go or it can end up expensive.
You don’t sound like a good candidate for going back to school full-time. Taking some night classes could be an excellent idea, though. Getting a bachelor’s degree eventually is not a bad idea, but quitting your job with vague plans to have fun as a F-T student would be.
If you’re interested in film, I’d sincerely suggest volunteering at film festivals. I’ve done this a few times, and I’m not even very interested in film. (I like watching documentaries, that’s why I do it, but I have no aspirations to participate in the film industry.) The people who are interested in film are networking and having a blast throughout the festival, though. And volunteering can start weeks/months before the actual festival, so you get to know people over time. You might consider a weekend job at an indie theater, too.
One last recommendation would be Toastmasters to help you get over your shyness. Try visiting a few clubs until you find one with the right ambiance for you. Regularly getting together with a group of people who all want to improve communication skills is tremendously helpful for becoming more social.
You don’t (completely) base your decision on the starting salary for your chosen profession. You need to look at the long term. Where will you be in 5-10 years if you stay in that career? The assumption is that you don’t stay in a $40-50 a year entry level position.
If you go to a mediocre college and don’t take advantage of your time there.
I see college as an oportunity to be around smart, talented, ambitious people and get exposure to ideas and subject matter and activities that you would not ordinarily be able to experience. It’s a chance to learn about the world outside of your previous experiences of high school and crappy part time jobs and whatnot.
I’d suggest taking one night class now. It’s a good way to meet people and see if you like school or just the idea of it. You could even start to take a language - that works for some people to get over shyness. Save some money so you’ve got more options at school. Or hell, get into school, defer it for a year and go travel.
As for writing. Do you want to write? Do you spend hours every day writing for yourself? I subscribe to the Charles Bukowski school of thought - you’re either a born writer, are compelled to write for yourself regardless if it will be read or published, or you’ll never make it as a writer. I type this as someone who has a published book, spent a few years writing at least 4 hours a day for myself, and realized writing doesn’t burn in my DNA. Maybe it will in another decade or so.
That said, if you can write effectively and quickly, it’s a great skill. So many people in the business world can’t write for shit. If you can, it’s very useful. You might even find that you like writing a lot more if it’s not your core job. Eg, say you’re a salesperson that writes his own sales material versus being the guy that writes sales pitches all day for the sales team.
I also believe that there are a lot worse ways to spend a few years instead of completing college.
I was faced with a similar problem recently. I’m 26, took a job with a huge multinational bank right out of college. It was pretty soul-sucking, but easy – I spent easily 30+ hours a week surfing the internet.
Then a buddy of mine asked me to interview at a different company. I wasn’t sure if I would like the job but it was a slight raise and I was just sick to death of my old job so I took a chance and jumped. That was 8 months ago and I’m so much happier at work now. I am so much busier and more confident. Maybe you could try a change of scenery? At least you’d be getting paid.
I guess I just wonder if more school is the answer, it doesn’t sound like there’s something else you’re dying to do. If you’re interested in writing, can you start writing on the side? Otherwise I’d say go to law school. Tech writer + law degree is a sought-after skillset.
DON’T go back to school if all you want out of it is “more schooling.” Heck, that’s the attitude half my undergrad students had (the other half wanted to “become a doctor to be rich”).
DO go back to school if it’s needed for the career you want to have.
DO look for what is it you really want to do; DO look for other jobs in the area that are less soul-sucking; DO look for things you can join (I’m no joiner, but I cofounded the UM Gaming Club, I’m a member of professional societies in Spain and the US, and also in a food-appreciation club known as Mensa).
You’re bored with life and doing a course wont change things.
Enlist,you’ll get beasted,you’ll get fit,you’ll make the best mates that you’ll ever meet in your life because you’ll be sharing novel,trying and yes,exciting experiences.
You’ll go overseas and see a different culture,you’ll be out of the rut.
You dont have to do it for the rest of your life,you can do the minimum enlistment and if you decide that you’d like to do it a bit longer then thats up to you.
It will change you,while the people that you grew up with are still doing the “Same Old Same Old”,Hey they’ve opened up a new Maccy D,the missus is expecting and give it a few years and I’ll be a supervisor, you will be truly alive.
You wont enjoy everything …but are you enjoying yourself now?
And if you decide to knock it on the head when you finish your minimum enlistment then you’ll enjoy being back in "Humdrum"all the more.
AND you’ll have personal confidence.
I’ve seen so many people who’ve been to timid to take off and do something interesting who when they turn around and suddenly find that they’re middleaged are so upset because their lives are effectively over.
Personally by your standards I’m an incredibly old cunt but if I died tomorrow I’ve had about four or five lives compared to most people.
Take a chance,you dont have to commit yourself but theres no harm in finding out stuff.
Unless you really don’t care about money or doing the things that are required to make more money.
Plenty of happy, successful people make less than $40K at age 30. I’d rather be driving a beater, renting a modest apartment, and wearing clothes from Target with a smile on my face versus having all the fancy stuff and being stressed out.
But some people thrive on stress and feel dead without it.
The only thing you don’t want to be at 30 is unhappy, Red Barchetta. I’m not sure school will bring happiness, but if you think so, give it shot.
Go to school if you want to go to school. But don’t expect it to be like Community College or like friends at home.
But only go if you want to learn something - otherwise you’ll be wasting everyone’s time. Yours included.
Live in the dorms if you want to. You’ll be the weird ‘old guy’ at first, but if you can laugh at yourself - or learn to laugh at yourself, you could make friends with the ‘kids’.
I think that if you want to go, you should go soon. Don’t mess around. If you find during the first year that you’ve chosen the wrong place for what you’ve discovered you passionately want to do, transfer!
But don’t go into the whole thing expecting that things will just work out. You will get out of the experience exactly what you put in to it.
In the mean time, work on the lonely/depressed thing that every other poster has picked up on. There have been some wonderful suggestions. Do some of them!
Of course, this is just MHO. Don’t do anything I said, really.
It’s good that you’re giving this some serious thought. Going to college really isn’t a decision that should be made lightly, even if it often is. Both msmith357 and anu-la1979 make good points: simply going to college isn’t the royal road to the good life, but if you take advantage of what’s out there and put some work into it, you can end up in a good position for the long term. Take some time to do some research on the career prospects of the schools and majors you’re considering, and give yourself an honest assessment of whether you can cut it. If you can, I’d say go for it.
Being shot at by Iraqi insurgents is a novel experience, and could be considered exciting, but it doesn’t sound like what the OP is looking for.
Unless you come home missing a couple limbs and/or mentally traumatized to the point where you are unable to function normally in a job or relationship for the rest of your life.
Too bad they were owned by the government.
That statement doesn’t even make any sense. What do you mean? You had four or five times the number of jobs of most people? Four or five mariages? Been to four or five times as many countries as most people? You plan to live four or five times as long as the rest of us?
Look, nothing against soldiering or the military or anything, but I’m sick of people who think the military is the be-all end-all solution to everything from social awkwardness and behavioral problems to boredom and lack of direction. The OP thinks he’s bored and hates his job now? Imagine having that job for several years, you are told what that job is and where in the world you will be performing it, you can’t quit and may even go to jail or get killed if you do it badly.
Clearly it depends on where you live. However, ten years ago $40k afforded me the ability to live in a shitty one bedroom outside of Boston driving a beater Ford Tarus with enough beer money to go out occassionally. That’s fine for a 20 something year old kid. I don’t want to spend my entire life living in dormroom conditions.
And I don’t believe a $40k job is less stressful than a $150k job when you take into account the stress of not being able to make bill payments, commuting long distances, or living in not so nice areas.
As for schooling. college is more than just about going and taking some classes. To a certain extent you become shaped and defined by your college experience and credentials - Art school grad, Ivy leaguer, MBA, aspiring lawyer, engineer, athlete, fraternity guy, whatever. Like high school, you make friends who you often stay friends with forever. 12 years after graduation, I still get invited to my fraternity brother’s wedings and whatnot. I can’t name more than three people I’ve worked with at any previous employer. All my “friends” who I socialize and drink with at work? When they or I leave the company, odds are we’ll never see each other again. IMHO, people get into their own personal shit as they get older so it becomes harder to develop a social life.
Answering your points,Beasted is a British Army term meaning that during training you’ll be encouraged to put maximum effort in,the encouragement doesn’t come in the form of "I jolly well hope that you chaps try just a leeeetle harder next time or there’ll be no marshmallows in your cocoa when I’m reading you your bedtime story"but can be quite strident.
Also of course it can mean having consentual sex with farmyard animals,but what I do at weekends is my business,anyway it was just the once and I was curious O.K.?..Well maybe a couple of times then.
I accidently deleted another of your points but will answer it.
No, joining the armed forces is not some sort of universal panacea for life crisis problems,normally I always recommend going to university as an extremely good idea but the poster appears to be one of those people who similar to myself get very discontented following the nine to five,ratrace,going home every night to the wife and kids sort of lifestyle,no matter how much financial compensation you receive.
Dont get me wrong I know many people who have done that all their lives and are very content,but it would have me screaming and climbing the walls after about five minutes.
The poster already has what sounds like a good job and hates the routine,IMO getting further qualifications and returning to a similar envoirment will not be solution with his dissatisfaction with his life.
As to getting killed or maimed it would be dishonest of me to pretend that that is not an option and I’m not going to go down the "You could be killed in a road accident tomorrow"route.
That is down to the poster to deal with himself(or not as the case maybe)
Finally to answer your question about my having had four or five lifetimes so far.
Yes I do fully intend to live four or five times longer then anyone else but I’m not optimistic about being successful at this point and I’m having some doubts about my scheduled reincarnation.
Now what I’m going to say will most probably be attacked by some people as either boasting or lieing but I have to say it to explain myself.
I have travelled to many,many places around the world,I have experienced many different cultures,have mates and have had G/fs around the world.
I’ve been in jungles,deserts,mid ocean and the Arctic.
I’ve visited ancient temples,cathedrals,tombs and shrines.
I have met the rich and famous,skied(Alpine and cross country)sailed,handled boats,rock climbed,rode horses,abseiled,potholed(I think you yanks call it spellunking or something)and many other things.
I have been actually there when news events are actually happening.
I’ve flown in Helis,planes and sailed on warships.
And of course I’ve played with all the “Boys toys”,used a very wide range of weaponry,blown things up and driven all sorts of vehicles.
And while I was doing all of this I WAS GETTING PAID TO DO IT.
I see the friends I went to school with who’ve got themselves a job and settled down say whistfully when something comes up on the telly"I wish I could go there ,or I wish I’d done that "and I have.
I’m not sure if he is. Basically it sounds like he feels directionless because he’s in a job he doesn’t care for and his social awkwardness is preventing him from making any kind of social connections. So basically he has nothing to do (other than drag himself to work), no one to do it with and nothing to look forward to. When you’re in that state the majority of your time is spent doing nothing but thinking about your situation and finding activities to pass the time.
They way you describe military life does seem very exciting like something right out of the recruiting videos. On the other hand, I’ve heard military life described as “long periods of mindless tedium punctuated by abject terror”. And I’m pretty sure the only place you’ll see in the military today is either Iraq or Afghanistan.
There are other ways to see the world as you described and even get paid for them. In my job as a consultant, my firm routinely sends people to Europe, Asia and South America. When I was the OP, my college buddies and I used to rent summer beach houses on the Jersey Shore and ski houses in New England. It’s nice having something to look forward to on the weekends other than sitting in your appartment surfing the net by yourself.
Whether you go to school or the military (or both, why not try ROTC first) or just travel around or whatever, the time to do that is now while you are young. It gets a lot tougher once you get older as you get settled into your life (as crappy as it may be) and other people get more focused on their own stuff.
Clearly it depends on what you want from life. One of my friends sold nearly everything he owns and is in the process of selling his house in order to quit his job and live out of a cheap camper with his wife in retirement. He’s probably 45 - and what he needs (and his wife is complementary) is a place to sleep and beer money. I couldn’t do it - he can’t wait.
Another friend - at 43 - has seldom held a real job. He’s spent his life living with girlfriends, friends, and sometimes renting apartment, while he plays drums in a band. Once again, I couldn’t do it - he thinks my corporate life is nuts.
They have words for people like that. They call them “bums” and “mooches”.
I would be curious as to how desirable that lifestyle becomes when one of them suffers medical problems or when band guy runs out of friends to crash at.
But that’s you. You are not the OP. When you say “you don’t want to be making $45-$50K when you’re 30”, you’re making a grandiose statement based on the assumption that everyone wants what you want. No one wants to be poor, true, but not everyone wants a 9-to-5, business-casual, cubical-farm-maybe-one-day-I-might-get-a-corner-office existence. Not everyone is cut out to be a corporate johnny-on-the-spot.
.
And I’m not sure at all what that has to do with someone content to make $40k a year. The point is, some people are content with much less than you are (or I am).
(One of these guys is an Accenture consultant. He’ll be able to pay for his own insurance - major medical, but its going to be his only major expense between now and retirement - that and gas for the camper. He is voluntarily choosing a life of minimalism - that’s what he and his wife want to do - and they can afford to do so without burdening society. And if he can’t, he or his wife can pull enough hours at Starbucks to get benefits).
