Neil Armstrong's first words - updated for 2005

After 26 years of commercialization, globalization, de-regulation; generation x, y and z; grunge, rap, hip-hop; partisan politics, religious fundamentalism; etc, etc…

What would a 2005 Neil Armstrong say for his first lunar words?

“I’d like to give shout-out to my homies back at NASA…”


That’s thirty-six years - time flies doesn’t it?

36 years of the inability to do arithmetic without the aid of a calculator.

It would probably be more PC.

Well in this day of politically correct expressions I suppose he could say:
“That’s one small step for a person. One giant leap for personkind”.

Then, no doubt, some people would feel that other living creatures are being slighted when people are given sole credit for an achievement that no doubt required all living things to accomplish. SO it might have to be transformed into:
“That’s one small step for one species. One giant leap for all species of planet Earth.”

Then again, some people might consider it geo-centric arogance to think that Earth has the exclusive rights to all life in the Universe and so it might have to be changed …

“That’s one small step for [a] man, one giant leap for mankind, and one comfortable insole. Thanks, Dr. Scholls!”

But wouldn’t ‘step’ and ‘leap’ be offensive to species that are unable to do such things, like snails and snakes? How about ‘forward movement?’


I don’t blame you for making that error. I’ve miscalculated it a few times myself. Besides the fact that our brains have become a bit too used to calculators and computers, it is mind-boggling to think that people landed on the Moon - thirty-six years ago !!! :eek:
Yikes !!! Some of us are used to thinking of that event as relatively recent.

Thanks for correcting my narrow-minded overweening arrogance that I limited the credit to creatures which have only one particular type of locomotion.

Of course !!! How can we forget that in all this time, commercilization would also have “set foot” on the Moon.
“Hello and welcome to the Prudential Lunar Landing.”

Pimp my Lunar Lander.

"Can you hear me now?"

I think that this time he really would say, “Good luck, Mr. Gorsky”.

“Holy shit the moon!”

With apologies to Dana Gould

Now look here, you’re missing the plants! How could you look down on them like that, just cause they can’t move from where they were born shouldn’t mean you can dis them like that.

I like the suggestion made to him at an astronaut’s party in the HBO series “From The Earth To The Moon”. Another astronaut, I forget who, tells him “If you had any balls, you’d say 'My God, what IS that thing?”, scream, and cut your mike."

You’re right - I’m being completely animocentric. Apologies to our chorophyllic friends.

This is probably the closest to what would be said. You can’t overlook any potential sponsors and endorsment deals.

A serious answer:

“That’s one small step for a man, one giant leap for humanity.”

Works just fine.

Did Coke or Pepsi or anybody inquire back in '69 if they could pay for an on-the-moon endorsement?