I haven’t taught Chemistry in forever, so that one took a second. My first translation was “pee & ammonia.”
PhD in Physics. I don’t get about 10% of the jokes here (mostly chemistry ones).
Have heard about that band, 1023MB?
They’re not bad, but they haven’t had any gigs yet.
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A photon checks into a hotel.
The bellhop asks, “Do you have any luggage?”
The photon replies, “No, I’m traveling light.”
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A rancher counted 196 cattle in a field.
But when he rounded them up, he had 200.
Related: A mathematician is in a hotel room, and a fire starts in a wastebasket. There’s an empty ice bucket and a sink in the room, so he fills up the bucket in the sink, and uses it to put out the fire.
The next night, there’s another fire in the wastebasket, but this time, the bucket is full of water. So the mathematician empties the bucket down the drain, thereby reducing the problem to one previously solved, and goes back to bed.
Rene Descartes walks into a bar and orders a drink. When he finishes his drink, the bartender asks him if he would like another. Descartes replies, “I think not,” and disappears.
What’s a robot’s favorite Disney film?
Five Dalmatians.
Most of these jokes are pretty well worn, but I still enjoyed this thread.
True enough, a better statement may have been “not formally educated”.
However, hanging around this place and alla youse folks these past years has instilled a sense of humility I never had before because I knew more trivia and big words than my coworkers
Also, reading about child psychology as a hobby and actually studying and practicing it are very very different, one leads to actual understanding more than the other
Here’s an old but still important website that outlines the dangers of Dihydrogen Monoxide, a little understood, odorless, colorless, extremely dangerous chemical that is very prevalent in our environment. Visiting the site is also a nostalgic trip back to 90s era web design!
The dangers of DHMO have largely been ignored in the media, with a few exceptions…
I’m a linguist by training but I got almost all of the “hard sciences” jokes because :
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I’ve had a lifelong interest in mathematics, physics and chemistry (growing up, I wanted to be an astronomer), so I have been familiar with the “simplified” versions of the concepts mentioned in the jokes for decades.
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My ex has a PhD in a STEM field. She introduced me to some of the concepts I didn’t know about, including a few jokes comparable to the ones upthread.
From the world of linguistics :
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[-Roman]–>[+Roman] / [+Rome] ___ [+Rome]
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Bartender: Sir, what beer would you like?
Linguist: IPA
Bartender: [sɜː, wɒt bɪə wəd jə laɪk] -
A linguistics professor was lecturing his class the other day.
“In English, a double negative forms a positive. However, in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative remains a negative. But there isn’t a single language, not one, in which a double positive can express a negative.”
A voice from the back of the room blurted out, “Yeah, right.” -
Linguistics - When you can analyze the syntactic processes of 12 languages but can’t say “Hello” in any of them.
My brother’s degree is in Chemistry (he stopped work on his PhD to complete a Masters in Statistics). He recently told me a joke that I totally didn’t get. He asked if I’d ever had a class in physical chemistry . I had not. He then spent hours on p-chem stuff, including a good bit of calculus. Eventually I understood why the joke was funny. Would not do again.
You mean topologically.
I have degrees in psychology,economics and politics.
I don’t have a job but at least I know why.
Art teacher, but I got a BS in Biology back in the '70s. Got all but the advanced math ones.
OK, I think this is the first one I don’t get.
That one beat me like a red-headed stepchild too. The rest of the thread I got.
I tell this joke to students every year.
Erm, yeah. Meant to type topologically. Must have hit the predicted word and not noticed.
It’s all greek to me.
Sorry, couldn’t resist…
Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.
It’s all Buffolonian to me.