This is here because I wasn’t sure where it should go. Not really trying to start a game.
I’m sitting here this am sipping from my coffee torus and musing on science jokes, good and bad.
Yesterday, I saw a personalized license plate on a car that I thought actually clever; “AUNRULE”.
Tell me your science jokes
Werner Heisenberg and Erwin Schrodinger are cruising down the highway when they get pulled over. The cop asks “Do you know how fast you were going?” Heisenberg says “No, but I know exactly where I am.”
The cop, thinking he’s being a smart ass, decides to search the car. There’s a box in the back seat, which he opens. “Hey, do you guys know you have a dead cat in this box?” Schrodinger says “We do now!”
An atom walks into a bar.
He goes up to the bartender and orders a beer. He says to the bartender, ‘I think I’ve lost an electron.’
The bartender says, ‘Are you sure?’
The atom says, ‘Yes, I’m positive.’
Q: What does the “B” in Benoit B. Mandelbrot stand for?
A: Benoit B. Mandelbrot.
Yeah, it bears repeating.
Did someone mention my name? (Actually, my choice of handle has nothing to do with Schrodinger, nor any desire to harm felines - it’s simply a play on the phrase “curiosity killed the cat”).
Some great responses already. My contribution, which I’ve posted before (hell, I may have first read it here):
What’s purple and commutes? An Abelian grape.
ETA: I don’t get the joke in the OP, please can someone elaborate?
Similarly, what’s an anagram of “Banach-Tarski Theorem”?
“Banach-Tarski Theorem Banach-Tarski Theorem”
The “Au” stands by itself.
The golden rule (AUNRULE)joke or the coffee torus?
A coffee cup with a closed handle (attached to the cup at both ends) is topographically no different from a donut, it’s a torus(this is not the same as geometrically)
There are two types of people in the world:
there are 10 types of people:
Those who know binary and those who don’t.
What does a Greek cow say?
μ
Alternatively, Schrodinger’s wife berates him “Erwin, what the hell have you done to the cat? it looks half dead!”
A biologist, a chemist and a statistician are out hunting.
The biologist shoots at a deer and misses five feet to the left.
The chemist shoots at the same deer and misses five feet to the right.
The statistician shouts, “We got him!”
I like the version Sheldon Cooper tells on an episode of Big Bang Theory.
The cop pulls Heisenberg over and says “Do you know how fast you were going? You were doing sixty miles an hour!”
Heisenberg replies “Great! Now I have no idea where I am!”
And there’s the one I made up several years ago and posted on this Board:
How do you ruin King Kong for a cognitive psychologist?
Have him count the number of times the basketball is tossed.
Why did the computer programmer get stuck in the shower for days?
He read the instructions on the shampoo label - “lather, rinse, repeat”.
Why do mathematicians get Halloween and Christmas confused?
Because Oct 31 = Dec 25.
Two mathematicians are eating dinner at a restaurant and arguing about mathematical knowledge in the general population. The pessimistic one says most people don’t know any math, at best they know enough arithmetic to balance their checkbooks. The optimistic one disagrees and says a lot of people remember the math they learned in high school and college.
The pessimist goes to the bathroom, and while he’s gone, the optimist calls their waitress over and says to her “In a few minutes, I’m going to ask you a question, and I want you to reply ‘one third x cubed’.” She says “What?” He says, “just repeat after me, ‘one third x cubed’” She walks away muttering “one third x cubed”.
The pessimist returns to the table and they resume their argument. The optimist says, “ok, let’s just try an experiment. We’ll pick a random person, like, say, our waitress, and ask her a math question.” He calls the waitress over and says, “excuse me, can you tell me what is the integral of x squared dx?” The waitress replies “one third x cubed”. The optimist says “Ha, there, you see?” As the waitress is walking away, she calls back over her shoulder, “plus a constant”.
But that’s impossible, as the smartest man alive I think I would have noticed.
I’d not seen that one before. Truly original jokes are a real treat, and funny ones even better. Nicely done Good Sir!