A dozen, a gross, and a score
Plus three times the square root of four
Divided by seven
Plus five times eleven
Is nine squared and not a bit more.
More at Math Limericks - Futility Closet
I got fired from my job at the bank today. A woman came in and asked me to check her balance, so I shoved her.
The car was an Audi, I presume?
So, after 40 days and nights, Noah’s ark finally lands, and all the pairs of animals are released, and God commands all of them to go forth, be fruitful, and multiply. Well, Noah is out and about rebuilding civilization, and he sees a couple of very sad snakes. “What’s wrong?”, he asks them. “God commanded us to be fruitful and multiply, but we can’t multiply; we’re adders.” “Ah, I see”, said Noah. So he went and found some large pieces of driftwood, and fashions them together into a crude platform, and presents it to the snakes. They don’t understand, but they accept his gift.
The next time Noah meets the snakes, they have a whole huge family, with snakelets and grandsnakes all over the place. “Thank you”, they say, “but we still don’t understand what happened.” “That’s easy”, said Noah. “Even adders can multiply, with a log table.”
You presume rightly. I thought the owner’s idea was clever.
There once was a fencer named Fisk,
whose lunge was exceedingly brisk.
So fast was its action
that Lorentz contraction
turned his rapier’s blade to a disk.
My mother was a linguist, and I used to read her books beginning around age 9. I loved this.
My high school math teacher once asked a (female) classmate to write out the following expression on the blackboard in the proper algebraic notation: The integral of e to the x is a function.
Teacher got jolly giggles out of this, and it took the rest of us a while to figure out why. Creepy old dude…
There’s an appropriate limerick:
Some people make the last line “But a function of y over x”, which works chromosomally, but doesn’t fit in well with the integral.
And, of course, there’s the other equation
https://www.cafepress.com/mf/72585489/integral-calculus-is-fun-and-s_tshirt?productId=719679776
A bit of deductive reasoning from Monty Python And the Holy Grail:
And a follow-up from a professional logician:
Nice!
Reminds me a little of a chapter in the book Wild New York (about flora and fauna within the five boroughs): “Egrets, We Have a Few.”
Caps Lock - Preventing logins since 1985.
Caution - Cosmic Rays Inside.
and one from the SDMB, from Fugazi, Nov. 2007
A guy at work has this taped to the side of his computer. He works a different shift, so I never see him but I’ve passed by it at least 100 times without realizing the joke. Then I took a good look one day and had a laugh. On the side of his computer is…
chown -R us ./base
The beauty of this is you have to be at least somewhat geeky to even get it.
I’ll spoiler it for those who want to figure it out on their own.
chown is a Linux command to change owner ship of files. In this case, your changing all the files in the directory ‘base’ to the user ‘us’. Or in other words “all your base are belong to us”.
NOT a joke, but wonderfully nerdy:
Seen at Tsinghua University, at a protest against the Chinese Government:
It’s one of the Friedman Equations.
Several students at Tsinghua University (PRC President Xi Jinping’s alma mater) participating in the 2022 COVID-19 protests in China carried placards with Friedmann equations scrawled on them, interpreted by some as a play on the words “Free man”. Others have interpreted the use of the equations as a call to “open up” China and stop its Zero Covid policy, as the Friedmann equations relate to the expansion, or “opening” of the universe. [7]
And what party to blame.
Chebyshev proved a couple centuries ago that for positive numbers n bigger than unity, there is always a prime number between n and 2n. Erdos was a well known coach surfer and collaborator, known for saying mathematicians “are a device that turn coffee into theorems” and coming up with an alternate proof.
Prompting some wag to write
Chebyshev said it and I’ll say it again.
There is always a prime between n and 2n.
(Not funny, admittedly, but pretty geeky.)
(To be really geeky, Chebyshev’s work was based on Bertrand’s Conjecture regarding the “gaps” between consecutive prime numbers. His theory could be tightened up if Andrica’s Conjecture is true; which it likely is since I don’t think exceptions have been found. Namely, the gap after prime number n and the next prime number is less than one plus two times the square root of n.)
Reminds me of a possibly apocryphal P.T. Barnum story: at one point he had a circus tent display with a collection of exotic animals in cages. People were supposed to get a quick look at each animal and move along in a line but there were too many people who would stand around and gawk for long periods, holding up the line. So P.T. put a big sign above the exit saying “THIS WAY TO THE EGRESS”.
At a recent family gathering, Star Wars films were the subject of conversation. SIL wondered about future films, and I said the next should be called “Not”. No one got it.
No, that was part of his Museum in New York. At least that’s what the musical “Barnum” says.
and ptbarnum.org agrees
“What do we want?”
“Time Travel!”
“When do we want it?”
“Irrelevant!”