I recently landed at Newport Pizza and Ale House in Ocean Beach, and was surprised to find a working (well, sort of*) NES. My buddy and I fired up Double Dragon 2 and were surprised at just how hard that damn game was! The bosses were a bitch and some of the jumps were pretty tricky too.
The mechanism that kept the game cartridge in position was busted, so you had to shove another game in on top of it at exactly the correct angle to make it playable. Some games simply didn’t work, and when we later tried to play TMNT 2 we couldn’t get another game in at the proper angle at all. We were a little drunk and frustrated, and our friends had shown up anyway, so we stopped at that point.
Castle of Dragon, developed by Seta, released 1989, completion time 1 hour, 10 minutes
This is one bizarre game. I actually tried this out earlier in the challenge, but quickly realized this game was too shitty to be worth my time. Well, it’s more misunderstood than shitty. There’s actually a lot more going on that meets the eye. It’s a side-scrolling action game, where you’re a knight with a sword going through a castle with dragons in it, in order to save a princess. The first meter is your life, but the second meter is your experience. Yes, you can actually gain levels, which make you stronger and give you more life. While it also appears that you only have one life, and if you make ONE little mistake like fall in a pit or lose a duel, you get game over and get brought back to the title screen and the first stage. However, you still retain your experience, so it’s actually somewhat beneficial to replay the first couple of stages. It’s sort of like the loop that Dead Rising for the X360 has. Once you get up to the actual castle, there are 5 different stages, which you choose with the control pad on the map (something I didn’t realize until I noticed I kept replaying the same stage). Four of these stages have an item to help you destroy the red dragon, so they must be played before the red dragon stage otherwise it’s impossible to win. This was the toughest game for me to complete since Bayou Billy, and besides the confusion in how the game works (I’m wonder if this was all spelled out in the manual?), the bosses actually REQUIRE you to learn their pattern in order to survive long enough to beat them…it brought back some old memories of playing NES games, studying bosses, and then looking for a safety spot…surprisingly this is the first new game in the challenge I’ve had to do this for. The reward for beating the game (I’m sure I could beat it in 20 minutes now that I know how to fight everyone) is the hottest NES princess I’ve ever seen!
Sword Master, developed by Athena, released 1991, completion time: 52 minutes
This game was developed by the same people who did Castle of Dragon, my last game. I even recognized the names in the credits. I had no idea of this fact until I was discussing that game with a friend last night, and he said I was talking about Sword Master. It turns out that they have enough in common to be sequels, although both of them have the same “you’re a yellow knight trying to save a princess from a castle” story, although this time it’s from wizards instead of dragons. This game did fix most of the problems with Castle of Dragon, such as the ability to NOT lose health during duels (although it does require perfect timing). It’s also a purely linear game, so no messing around with the map. I spent about 20 minutes fighting this one Wizard boss, who I at FIRST thought was using the cheapest move in the book, by firing lightning bolts that corner you in the screen and force you to get hit, but
if you duck, you won’t take any damage
and the final two bosses were real pains in the asses too. Also, halfway through the game, a completely useless wizard joins as a second character, but there was no point in the game where he was any better than the knight. This is a HARD game, even harder than Castle of Dragon, and I’d be very surprised to hear of anybody who beat this game without some kind of cheating.
Donkey Kong Classics, developed by Nintendo, released 1988, completion time: 4 and a half minutes
Pretty much my earliest memory of EVER playing a video game was when I played Donkey Kong in the arcades back in the mid 80s. My dad would have to hold me up so that I could reach the controls, and even though the first stage was easy, I was never able to beat the second. I don’t think I ever actually played Donkey Kong Jr in the arcades, but I always found it to have more variety than the original. Still, each of these games can be beaten in about 2 minutes, but they’re still a fun play. Has anybody NOT played these games? I just wonder how ripped off somebody would feel if they paid $40 for this game when it first came out (and bear in mind that when the NES was originally released, DK and DK Jr were released separately!) I hear that there’s a movie that was released earlier this year about people obsessed with Donkey Kong. Sky Kid, developed by Namco, released 1986, completion time: 37 minutes
Sky Kid is a flying shooter game, which in a weird attempt to be original, scrolls right to left. You’re a cutesy version of the Red Baron, fighting a cutesy military. Despite the childish appearance of everything (including billboards for Pac-Man!), this is still a tough game. You can fire straight, or at an angle, and the B button does backflips, which often will backflip you right into an enemy approaching from behind. There are also torpedos you can find to drop on battleships, but the game doesn’t seem to care if you’re a pacifist. I noticed (and verified on gamefaqs) that after 11 stages, the game starts to loop, even though stage 1 will now be called stage 12, so this is when I declared the game finished.
I’ve heard scary stuff about Ghostbusters, and that isn’t supposed to be a pun.
Fester’s Quest, developed by Sunsoft, released 1989, completion time: 1 hour, 40 minutes
This is one bizarre game. The licensing of The Addams Family makes very little sense, since Uncle Fester is trying to stop an alien invasion…I guess I missed the episode with the aliens? So Sunsoft recycled all of the sound effects from Blaster Master, and even included the frog as a regular enemy…the game basically plays like the overhead mode in Blaster Master as well. You can even get those gun upgrades…and the gun Fester uses is very bizarre - it shoots in a spiral pattern, but if the shot hits a wall, it disappears, which essentially makes attacking in a narrow corridor impossible. You can also get an upgradable whip which I didn’t use AT ALL, as well as an assortment of other items and weapons (including lock-on-target missiles!) which are given to you by various members of the family. If you use a turbo controller, you will absolutely OWN this game, which is a nice compromise from not being able to attack at all in certain passageways. The most bizarre thing about this game is just how hard the programmers made it. The gameplay itself isn’t all that hard (except when you’re left defenseless due to that screwy weapon), but you only get two units of energy, and only ONE life - if you die, you have an option to continue with all of your acquired items, but at the VERY start of the game - and since the game is essentially one giant maze (they even do the ultima-style 3d maze crawls before every boss battle, which makes absolutely no sense since the only purpose it serves is to see how long it takes to find the boss room) there is A LOT of backtracking in order to get where you left off. And the boss battles ARE extremely hard - there’s more of the finding the pattern and finding the safety spot, but I can’t imagine how any player NOT using save restores would ever survive long enough to figure out how to beat any of the bosses.
I beat this in my younger days by using the NES Advantage. Since each tap of the button equals one step on those stairs, the rapid-fire technique made them run. I tried it again a couple months ago, again using the Advantage, and I kept dying on the stairs. “Let me know when we get to 20. I’m gonna throw up.”
TaleSpin, developed by Capcom, released 1991, completion time: 35 minutes
yet another Disney-Capcom game, and yet another flying shooter game. You play as Baloo the bear, who flies in a tiny airplane that half of his body sticks out of (which is a completely different plane than was on the tv show), which fires bubbles. If you press the A button, he flips upsidedown to shoot in the opposite direction, which I can only see as extreme laziness by the graphics crew, who flipped the sprites 180° rather than mirror imaging it. Your initial ship sucks, but as the subgoal (aside from flying through the levels and fighting bosses) is collecting money and packages in order to get paid, you can buy upgrades, which make the game much easier. Another uniquething about this game is that the stages are all completely different environments, and can scroll in all four directions. Not a bad game, but not one I’d see myself playing again.
Spy Hunter, developed by Sunsoft (original arcade version by Bally Midway), released 1987, completion time: 14 minutes
This is another one of the first NES games I ever played. It brings back memories too…and the Peter Gunn theme song (I have no idea who Peter Gunn is, but I love the song) is great. Spy Hunter’s remake for the PS2 was also the first game I ever played for that system. You’re driving a James Bondish car in this overhead driver/shooter game, and you can take out enemy cars, try to drive into the back of semi trucks to get weapon upgrades, and shoot down helicopters with the missiles. Or try to be a pacifist and try to drive around everybody. This game has an interesting lives system ,in that there’s a timer and until it gets to 0, every time you crash, one of those red semis will drop off a new car for you, an unlimited amount of times. After about 10 minutes, the scenery starts looping, meaning that there’s no official end to the game.
Journey to Silius, developed by Sunsoft, released 1990, completion time: 30 minutes
This game is a pretty straightforward action game. It has a futuristic/space setting, and you’re a Mark Hamill look alike going through stages (they scroll in all 4 directions, but only one at a time, and this is a rare later NES game that doesn’t let you scroll backwards), shooting robots. Each time you defeat a mini-boss, you get a new gun, but a major flaw in this game is every gun upgrade uses the same set of ammo, and you run out very fast, so it’s better just to use the regular gun (with unlimited ammo) and save them for bosses. None of the game is really that hard, although it isn’t always obvious at first where to shoot to kill some of the bosses, since some of them have shields that sometimes block their weak spot. This game uses a number of old-school strategies, including scrolling enemies off the screen, staying far enough away that an enemy won’t attack you, and finding safety spots. Also has a great soundtrack, like most Sunsoft games. I bet it would be really fun with an unlimited ammo game genie code.
I have two long train rides coming up over the holiday, so I’ll probably be back this weekend with a handful of more completed games.
I’ve been too busy playing Dawn of Sorrow and Contra 4 (a must-have game for anyone who loved the original) to stick to NES games, but I’m coming back around.
Super Spy Hunter, developed by Sunsoft, released 1991, completion time: 40 minutes
This is basically a remake of the original Spy Hunter, but with a lot more game. The graphics are improved (the animation on going around corners is actually pretty impressive for the NES), there’s more variety to the enemies, and there are actual multiple stages, rather than just one road that loops every 8 minutes. This game also has 8 bosses THAT WON’T DIE…you think the tanker truck is blown up, but out of it pops a helicopter…blow up the helicopter and a tank comes in from the top of the screen. Some of the fights were pretty ridiculous after a while.
Ghosts 'N Goblins developed by Capcom, released 1986, completion time: 50 minutes
There are 6 things I really hate about this game:
#1 the fact that some bosses can only be defeated by certain weapons #2 speaking of that, the torch is fucking awful, but it’s forced on you twice in the game. None of the other weapon upgrades, except for the dagger, are better than the spears that you start with. #3 the gargoyles #4 the rock monsters #5 that you aren’t given nearly enough time to complete the stages. This is the only game I know of where the timer really matters. I ran out of time on 3 occasions in this run through. #6 once you finish it the first time and are back in the graveyard, I just don’t feel like playing it all again
This is an overrated game with one of the biggest reputations in NES history. You’re a knight Arthur who is having sex with the princess in a graveyard when Satan kidnaps her. You need to go through 7 stages fighting zombies, gargoyles (the infamous enemy who later got his own series), ghosts, goblins, etc in order to rescue her. Once you finally do (and yes, it’s as tough as everyone says. Not Bayou Billy tough, but you won’t beat it in your first 50 tries) there’s a bullshit ending that tells you to do it again. Since the second quest is EXACTLY the same, I consider it beaten and consider that a second quest to get a better ending. I have a long love-hate history with this game. I first encountered it in the arcades when I was about 6, and I thought it was hilarious that when you get hit, your armor falls apart and you’re left in your underwear…get hit a second time and your skin falls off. And some of my friends and I would go to the graveyard near my house and play live-action Ghosts N Goblins…
Freedom Force, developed by Sunsoft, released 1988, completion time: 22 minutes
My first Light Gun game in this challenge…I almost feel like I’m cheating just by playing at all, since the light gun is emulated with a mouse crosshair, making aiming extremely easy. This is actually one of the better of the light gun games, which are all almost exactly the same. You’re Rad Rex, a Jack Bauerish character who is a CTU agent taking out terrorists at an airport. Shoot all of the men with green shirts and bags on their head, and if they throw a hostage at you, don’t shoot it. There are multiple stages, each which is a different part of the airport, but still almost exactly the same, gameplay wise. This is also one of the few games where they shoot back, and you have a health meter. You’ll get shot if you don’t shoot them first. It also has a surprisingly large amount of blood for an NES game. The weirdest part is between some of the stages, there is a game similar to hangman where you have to guess the secret code by shooting the letters. Even stranger, once I beat the game, it left a cryptic message “CONGRATULATIONS! SECRET CODE: SPYHUNTER” … is there something I’m totally missing or was that some kind of subliminal advertising to buy more Sunsoft games?
Xenophobe is the last one left until I have this company completed!
Time Lord, developed by Rare, released 1989, completion time: 35 minutes
This game has nothing to do with Dr. Who. It’s a really bizarre action side-scroller, with a similar play format to the first Double Dragon. You need to save the world from aliens by travelling through time and collecting orbs. The time periods are Medieval England, The Old West, Pirates of the Caribbean, World War 2, and 3000AD, and each stage has weapons and enemies to fit the period. The thing is, many of the orbs are in out of reach places, and require really strange techniques to reach them…such as stabbing the sword to the left to make the orb scroll down, etc…this game seems really stupid until you get the hang of it, and then it just seems short.
Xenophobe, developed by Sunsoft, released 1988, uncompletable
This is the last of the Sunsoft games for me to play. And I guess I saved the worst for last. Your character is Dr Kwack, a trekkie with a duck’s head. The setting is a cross between the Star Trek Enterprise, and the Nostromo, complete with Xenomorphs (I guess that’s where the name came from). Basically, you run around the top half of the screen (the bottom half just has the Xenophobe logo, since a second player can also play in the same game, but at his own pace, a la every FPS game ever) killing aliens until you start to notice the 8 rooms repeating, and you go to gamefaqs and find out that the game has no ending and is unbeatable. This game is good for about 15 minutes, and might be fun for 2 people, but I pity anybody who actually bought it. This game also has a very strange control scheme, since you have to hold A (jump button) in order to duck, and when you get hit, Dr Kwack actually gets knocked down and you have to press A for him to get up again…I’ve never seen that before in an NES game. Also, this game has NO MUSIC, which I guess is part of the “In Space, nobody can hear you scream” thing.
Trojan, developed by Capcom, released 1986, completion time: 30 minutes
One of Capcom’s first games, this is a side-scrolling hack-and-slash which can’t seem to decide if it’s the Trojan War, or something in the future (with ninjas thrown in too). Regardless, you’re a random Trojan knight, and you take on Achilles and his army. Lotsa pattern spotting required to beat the bosses…this game is simple once you figure those out. Not really a bad game, although it doesn’t seem very Capcomy. The control scheme is kind of weird, since up jumps (and you have to press diagonally to jump forward) and A uses the shield, which protects you from almost any attack. Having a turbo on B to swing your sword rapidly makes the game much much easier too.
Mega Man, developed by Capcom, released 1987, completion time: 45 minutes
The one that started it all, and Capcom’s fifth NES game - their first that wasn’t an arcade port. Fireman, Bombman, Gutsman, Cutman, ElecMan, IceMan. And of course the most overrated boss battle in the series - the Cyclops, who really isn’t that hard, and CAN be beaten without cheating (no game-modifying cheats allowed in this challenge!) as long as you make sure to jump out of the way of the shots and learn the moving rock pattern. However, the REAL hardest battle in the series is the clone battle, which I still had to try about 5 times before I could do it. Overall, this was the hardest of the Mega Man games, and was unique for having really long stages, although less of them. And it has points! And no password! And enemies/bosses who actually do serious damage! The Fire Shooter is definitely the weapon to pick, which is why Fireman should be tackled first.