It’s been six months, and a lot of non-sequiturs, but I now have 1000 posts. So, I was going to have a little party, you know, with cake and punch and stuff. But, that’s been done before. So…
I’ve decided to turn this thread over to total surrealist anarchy. So, everybody paint images of towering castles bult upon a foundation of mayonnaise, bemoan the price of rhubarb in Bolivia, and become one with Richard Nixon’s left earlobe. Synchronize your melting watches now, and…go! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to catch the 8:00 fish and go to hell by the seashore, before the cubes get here and ruin everything. Please put the penguins back where you found them, I can’t stand it when I can see the underlying paradigm. Best of luck, you’ll need it.
An infinite number of rednecks in an infinite number of pickup trucks shooting an infinite number of shotguns at an infinite number of road signs will eventually produce all the world’s great works of literature in Braille.
OH MY GOD!! I have been waiting for this for soooo long!! I can finally use these Neon body paints and black-light-visor I got last fall when Spencer had the clearance sale!!
So, who found the icicles in the voodoo realm? I didn’t remember bringing that tattoo back from Minsk, but apparently I did.
Ohhh… It’s just like they said it would be.
A Slightly Altered Perception of Reality…
Chrome Toaster
I was just about to say something about the powerful nakedness of the model, as juxtaposed with our own shame, when I suddenly realized the contradiction involved in actually trying to define chaos, so I fell back on an authenticity v. reality model, only to come out the other side distorted fatally in the fun house mirror of the eschatalogical finality, which just wouldn’t do, so, annoyed by the overstatement, I said to myself, “Self, so fucking what if the earth isn’t flat, and the heavens don’t wheel around us, and the fariggin’ sun isn’t pulled through the heavens on a god-driven chariot?” And all I could think of by way of reply was that it’s hard to believe in coincidence.
I keep wondering if my goldfish knows it’s living in a bowl.
Dr.Watson
“Playing Mah-Jongg with the higher powers, and way behind.”
I dropped my chalupa and I can’t get up, so where’s the beef? Heretofore notwithstanding allegedly dysfunctional codependent personnel utilizing the proactive resources of the management team’s networking empowerment structure in regards to individualization of self-exploration techniques, at this point in time a rain event may differently enable the verbalization of issues and the installation of a quality product, in accordance with scripture. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I axe you: is that your final yada, yada? Thanks for sharing; I feel your pain and I’ll be back. What I hear you saying is that I am less than 2% of the RDA of calcium and Xanax. Read my liposuction: no nukes. You won’t have Kix Lipton to dick around anymore. Piece out.
Oh no, GOD’s freakin’ me out. I can’t believe I’m agnostic. Why don’t you go save a few soles, God, instead of floundering around, just for the halibut?
You shad not carp at me where you perch. Mahi, mahi, how quickly they forget. The groupers you school with gar it all bass-ackwards. You drum up the agnostic crappie, shark as a sturgeon, while I bream with rays of hope. It makes me eel.
'Scuse me while I go back to retrieve my manatee at the door. Or is that sanity? Nah, it’s definitely insane. Whale, it’s been fun; I’m sure this will mackerel good thread, but it’s marlin I can tackle.
Sorry, Cabbage, manatee performances have to wait 'til later in the day. Ruthie said come see her in a honky-tonk lagoon, so maybe I’ll get down with her and the manatees there later on.
COngrats NTG… I came in to have a drink but it appears someone sawed the legs off the periodic table, which caused the flux capcitor to do the contrabulated flim-flam and now all i can get on my radio is mexian polka and some sort of nasal-retentive calliope music.
And to you I say, inevitably, 2-4-8-4-8-4-8-4-8-4!
And then she said “with an attitude like THAT you can untie YOURSELF!”
Voted Biggest Smartass by all you beautiful people!
You always use violence. I should’ve ordered glutinous rice chicken.
When the purple cows graze on the green fields, the gangs don’t show their colors.
This was actually said to me by my (very) drunk husband one night. When I said “Huh?” He answered, “You’re not on my wavelength man!”
NTG, now is the time to open the portals of salt and shred a new tree. Take back the plastic sphincter wig wam and achieve orbit around Rhode Island. Tell the left handed bee keepers to leave the mayo alone and resume their insidious idiocy for the good of the Quakers.
I disagree. My boobs always look like that.
Wanna see the blues Club in Berkeley where I smoked my first clove cigarettes-Larry Blakes has sawdust on the floor, but rubber baby buggie bumpers self destruct in boiling water-take the baby out first then eat the Girl Scout Cookies inside my computer or remind me to run the treadmill on my spinning drive.
Why do your fingers smell like tunafish?
A herd of pink pigs ran through the wall over the cliff. My hair is too.
Don’t forget to change your password.
Tina Turner.
I’m glad we’re getting back to the subjection. On that note(was it a B flat?), rememember that objectification is subjective. Free Willie! (with purchase of another seafood entree)…Don’t get mad, get odd. The surrealism is getting pretty thick in hear; somebody clothe the window before the sheik kicks the fan. No, really, I’m perfectly gruntled with my job. Void where prohibited; I do.
Note: Lines in bold are accompanied by me wildly thrashing my body on the floor.
Oh NTG, NTG, you are so fucking sweet to me. . You both can suck my used tampons,
NTG, you’re like sweeter than a teet to me. you goat-raping, rat-stuffing inbred sons
NTG, won’t you please just beat me? of a syphillitic gutterslut
You’re such a nasty treat for me. and a one-eyed midget named “Klaus”.
Wazzzzzaaaah!
“Don’t bother to pack your bags, Or your map.
We won’t need them where we’re goin’,
We’re goin’ where the wind is blowin’.”