So I’m loading up some junk in the old pickup truck. I’m nearly done, just gotta tie down the tarp. I’m thinking about the route to my buddy’s new place, how to get there. I’m on the rail behind the cab, and I step down into the bed to reach the rope.
But my right foot slides off a stack of old 4x4 magazines and wedges between that and some other boxes. My left leg is at an awkward angle behind me, I can’t get any weight on it and it’s pushing the wrong way anyhow. Holy shit!! I’m keeling over to my right, as in empty air. The side of my right knee comes up hard against the bed. I try to twist and fall backwards but my toe is wedged, the angle is wrong, my knee is forced out straight. My right hand is flailing empty air, I just get that first pre-scream out, I bend full over and slap the side of the bed, and my left hand finds the rope(!!!)
I left some skin on it and I don’t care. Managed to get enough weight to the left to yank the leg free and then was never so glad to chew mud. Waited for the pain but it didn’t happen (much). Yes, nice knee, good knee, swivel nicely, that’s the way. It’s loose but not too loose, I don’t think I even tore anything. I’m not a cripple!! If that’s all the luck I’ve got coming this entire goddam year that’s just fine.
NEVER fucking EVER stick your leg down in a hole like that.
Excuse me, I gotta freshen up this ice pack, crawl into a corner, and whimper for awhile. Argle! Whiskey!
Yee-OUCH, Speakeasy. Glad it wasn’t worse. The whiskey is a good idea, but save some for tomorrow when you stiffen up.
Take 'er easy for a few days and let that knee recover. Oh, heck, just nudge the hound offa the couch, stretch back, grab the remote and the sack of Doritos. (If Mrs. Speakeasy gets tired of running cold beverages out to you, grab your knee and moan. Just don’t let her see you sprinting for the john during commercials.)
If someone asks why you’re limping, just look stoic and mutter, “^%#* NFL”.
THANX GUYS! It’s a little swollen, but it doesn’t hurt too bad at all. Nearly full range of motion without pushing it. I think I’ll live. My buddy loaned me one of those neoprene knee sock thingies, that seems to work pretty slick. He sez I just wanted to sleaze out of the rest of the carrying. I told him if I’m going to skid on a stack of magazines at least make them current issues, what is that, 1996??
Now if I’d landed on something really hard like my head I’d have been alright.
Don’t think I can pull off the NFL thing unless I was one of the fast scared guys. I’ll think of something. Meanwhile, ibuprofen & ice for a few weeks. Then maybe ballet lessons.
Whatever ya do, DON’T try and use it too soon. I tore one of my kneew up sort of like that during Desert Storm and being the macho guy that I was then, Just went about my duties. BIG mistake. My knee swelled up so big our Battalion medic had to cut my BDU’s off! I ended up getting out of the Army because I can’t run any more even after surgery. PLEASE be carefull…
btw, you would think they would send me back to Germany with an injury like that huh? Nope. Brigade surgeon wraps it with an ace bandage, hands me my machine gun and sends me back to my unit! sheesh…
I was in my 20s and stupid. I was also in frantic and hopeless love with a girl I worked with. Went to a party with her and she got smashed. Went back to the apartment of her girl friend and we got a bit more smashed. The love of my life freaked out, stopped breathing and I almost panicked. I administered mouth to mouth – and discovered that she had been holding her breath. Scooped her up in my arms, much to the protests of her fat friend – because she attracted the good looking guys to drop in when she was there, dared anyone to stop me from taking her home and we left. A friend drove my car. I sat in the back cradling my semiconscious beloved who did not feel the same for me.
She barfed on me – twice. Heroically I put up with it. We reached her home and I carried her inside to her folks, who directed me with concern to her bedroom. The floor was highly polished wood. I wore hard soled boots. It had been wet outside. I slipped, started to fall and her weight in my arms over balanced me. I knew that if I fell normally, I’d break her arm, so I twisted and went down on my right knee! THAT HURT! I struggled back to my feet, determined not to release her precious form to anyone else, and carried her into her room, where I placed her oh so gently into bed, safe at last!
I limped over that knee for about a week afterwards, and when she went and married someone else years later, the knee was still reminding me of stupidity when it would occasionally go out on me. I had problems jumping off of loading docks or out of the backs of semi’s for ages. Around 18 years later, the knee stopped bothering me.
Older, wiser and not as foolish about love, I don’t know if I would repeat the same action again for anyone, unless she is responding a lot more to me that the original girl.
18 years of occasional problems because I saved her arm. She never even thanked me.