New and Unimproved Workplace Rants

Oh, I’m getting paid time-and-a-half for the training time. I just didn’t want to stay. I wanted to clock out and get to the supermarket to pick up cat food (and get home to my fiancée).

At least you’re not at a company that expects you to work mandatory unpaid overtime for the betterment of the company.

Anyone on a salary has experienced that…

Did I ever tell you about working 50-70 hours a week in an ad agency, and the time I put in over 80 hours a week for almost a month to meet a crazy deadline?


Yes, I have. Too many times…


… and will again in 2022.
Stay tuned.

I got laid off as a “manager” and rehired as a contractor. It’s amazing how much they needed me to work 50-60 hours a week on a salary, and how little they need me to do it when I get paid OT for it (still happens, but a lot less often).

This is a deliberate ploy so that they can have plausible deniability if things go pear shaped. If someone in the organization says “why didn’t you just pay for a new brochure instead of revamping the old one?” They can say “that’s what I wanted! MagicEyes didn’t understand! It’s their fault!”

Didn’t Flash also support the “groovy” graphics/animations that radio stations and the like used to display while you listed to their webcasts? This was a real bane to me in the pre-smartphone era. I’d be able to browse to a stations website, and click “play”, but it wouldn’t work because my phone didn’t support Flash. And Flash was only there to play the graphics which I didn’t care about anyway.

IIRC Flash support was a HUGE deal once upon a time. Motorola had huge billboards for their Droid RAZR phone that said:




You could almost imagine the movie preview announcer proclaiming it.

Not really a rant, but it happened at work half an hour ago. I took a tumble and landed on my ribs across a steel beam. I’m going to need X-rays at least, to rule out cracked or broken ribs.

Where is the spleen located, btw?

Upper left of the abdomen (assuming you have normal anatomy). Just behind the bottom ribs if I recall correctly, behind your stomach.

You want to rule out “ruptured spleen” for sure. If the docs are checking out your ribs they should also be thinking about that as well.

Yeah, I keep thinking of Winky from the Brewster Rockit comic strip. “My spleen!”

Not coughing up any blood, though.

Bet you’ll be okay.

But you’ll definitely need a few paid days off… and a healthy Workers’ Compensation payout.

My supervisor drove me down the street to the urgent care that’s contracted to handle our workplace injuries and other worker’s comp issues. I had a series of X-rays taken, and a PA came in to check my vitals. The issue of Contusion v Fracture will have to wait until a radiologist takes a look at them, but they gave me a rib belt to keep everything as immobile as possible. I’ve also got an open-ended “don’t show up at work” Attending Physician’s report. Slept okay, but I had to remove the rib belt in order to lay down without jacking up the pain from 5 to 8.

Silver lining: this happened about 45 minutes prior to the end of my shift, and I ended up clocking out after I returned from the urgent care. Two hours of overtime FTW!

When I was thrown off my bike and broke my rib, I had to sleep in the recliner for three weeks.

Good luck, and avoid John Mulaney.

I probably bitch about this every year - if so, here we go again. We’re doing our annual benefits open enrollment. There are two plans with an HSA - one “standard”, one “premium”. Coverage is identical between the two plans, except that the premium plan has a $600 employer contribution to the HSA, and the standard has none. The difference between the two plans is $23 and some change per paycheck - multiplied by 26 paychecks per year equals … wait for it… $600!

It seems so disingenuous to me to call it an “employer contribution” when the money is just coming out of your own damn pocket. And of course what really cheeses me off is that there used to be an actual honest-to-god employer contribution on all plans, but I guess at some point they just decided to keep their money and screw the employees some more.

Hey, man. Those C-suite bonuses don’t pay for themselves.

Daddy needs a new yacht!

It’s actually rather insulting if you think about it. They want their employees to be sharp and know how to read and understand things, then they pull something like that fully expecting that their employees are too stupid to figure it out.

Today, I got an email from IT to log onto my computer urgently to avoid the computer being deactivated at the end of this week. This will be difficult as the computer in question is new and has not yet been delivered to me. Now I have tried talking to various people about getting this computer delivered but no one knows anything. The ticket that no one told me existed and I just found one day says that the computer will be delivered on October 29th. It’s safe to say that information is not current. I am not sure what to do.

So I emailed the IT Process Officer (I don’t understand what he actually does) and he said I can email them back and let them know what is going on. I’m sure this will definitely work and that, when the new computer is finally delivered, it will work out of the box. (I’m being sarcastic if that isn’t clear.)

Small update as I was writing this post and the email the Process Officer told me to send. The email box says it is not monitored for service requests or escalations. Awesome!

This reminds me of something that happened years ago in my workplace. The policy for starting short term disability (STD) had been that it started on the third day of medical absence or the first day of hospitalization. A new policy was announced that employees would have to take 2 weeks of vacation time (PTO) before STD would start. Everyone freaked out!

In response, a comment board was put on the intranet and meetings were held at each facility. This was odd because they had never asked our opinions about any other policy decision. Then they announced that they had “heard” us and the policy would be one week instead. I was so pissed off that they thought we were that stupid. It was obvious that this is what they wanted all along but they played this game so we would think they cared and be grateful that it was only one week. I was so mad I almost quit. In the end I didn’t but I never trusted them about anything again. And it just led to cynicism being a big part of the corporate culture.

My intro to Corporate Greed came in high school, when I was working a very dangerous job in a steel plant. I got a sheet of steel slammed through my knee, and while the knee was spurting blood, a co-worker taped it up (with a ton of masking tape). While the VP ran as fast as he could in wingtips …

… to the time clock, so he could punch me out before he called an ambulance.

While working at WallyWorld, my thumb got dislocated. I popped it back in but told a manager because that’s what you’re supposed to do, right? I was told I could not make a report unless I clocked out and visited the WM-approved clinic the next day.

Yeah I’d have to clock out now to visit a doctor in like 12 hours to tell someone in authority I dislocated my thumb.