New Baby, and sleeping!

So me and the wife are expecting our first child this Feb. Found out yesterday the baby is a girl (woot!), and everything looks good and healthy (double woot!).

Since I have found out we were having a baby I of course have been talking to every parent we know, we are in our mid 30’s so every friend/family we know seem to have kids, and the one thing they all mention is “get used to no sleep”.

Of all the things about a new baby, that one I think will be hard for us. Both of us like our sleep. I have some days were sleeping is tough, but for the most part im a 8-9 hour a day sleeper.

So to see what everyone is talking about I have been only allowing myself 4-5 hours a sleep a night this week. Sometimes all at once, other times 2 hours at a time. It is now Thursday and I AM WIPED!

My respect for parents has just gone up a bunch of notches. How do fellow dopers deal with this?
Do you just get used to it?
How little sleep, and for how long, did you get with your new baby?

Advice and stories are very much welcomed! Nothing helps misery like good company!!

A lot depends on the kid. I didn’t sleep nights for 18 months, and still am held responsible 49 years later. Good luck.

I didn’t sleep eight hours at a time at all dependably for about three years. My youngest was about 2 1/2.

But it changes. During pregnancy in the third trimester I was up every two hours for a quick potty trip. When the baby was an infant, I was up for 20 minutes four times a night for a feeding. I could never breastfeed in bed - she wouldn’t latch - so we were up and in a chair.

Within a few months it was once a night.

Then the comfort pattern started.

Eventually (and currently) we wake up for nightmares, bedwetting, “mom, I can’t sleep” thunderstorms - my kids are six and seven.

But you change your schedule. I would go to bed at 8:00 at night and get up at 6:00 am - on weekends I’d nap. So I may have not been getting a lot of sleep in a row, but I was getting sleep.

You still spend your time darn tired. I could fall asleep on a dime for a few years. I’d lay down with my two year old for “cuddle time” and my husband would wake me up three hours later with “do you want to sleep in our bed.”

I think the part you’ll have to get used to is not necessarily going from 8 hours of sleep down to 4 or 5, but having to get used to getting “interupted sleep”.
You can still go to sleep at 10 and wake up at 7, but you may have to wake up 4-5 times for 20-30 minute spans.

We’re expecting next spring and I’m getting my practice by sleeping from 12 to 6 and getting up to let the dogs out at 2 and 4.

Don’t worry about it too much. Chances are you’ll do just fine.

We had twins, and they started sleeping through the night at five months and six months. Our third baby also slept through the night at six months. His pattern now, at one year old, is to go to bed at 7:30 and wake up for a feeding between 5 and 6. This is manageable, to say the least.

I realize this isn’t typical, but it isn’t that far off either. Once kids start eating food in addition to breast milk or formula, they usually sleep longer at night.

I couldn’t breastfeed for very long, so we split the chores. My husband is a night owl and I’m a morning person, so we split the feedings accordingly. When the kids were six months old, we weaned them from middle of the night feedings. (Good old-fashioned cry-it out method, which worked like a charm for both of them.) They are 6 and 8 now, and rarely wake up at night, even when they are sick. We’re pretty strict about keeping to the routine, though, especially on school nights.

It might not even be that bad. My babies all started sleeping through the night when they were about 2-3 weeks (yes, I said weeks) old. Last nursing around 10 pm wake up a little later every night for the 2am feeding until they were sleeping until about 6 am. Obviously, I did not wake them up to eat, I figured when they got hungry they’d let me know. And they did. All three were in the 7 lb range at birth, and we didn’t have any trouble with nursing. Of course, at 3 mos the colic started with all 3 of them as well. Every night, after the 10 pm feeding they’d cry for 4 hours straight and not a thing you do helps. That lasted for about 3 months, just like Dr Spock said it would. I can still remember sitting on the floor outside the nursery door crying right along with them because nothing I would or could do helped. I imagine this was mostly with #1, because by #2 & 3, I knew what to expect and that it would pass. But many a night passed with my kids watching late late night TV because mommy had finally fallen into an exhausted sleep in the rocking chair while still holding them. Eventually my husband would notice and come wake me up and the oh so careful (because one should also let sleeping babies lie) transfer to the crib would commence. For the record, I never dropped them. My arms would be locked in baby holding position despite the rest of me being sound asleep.

thanks all! always good to hear encourging stories!

I am still in awe of the parents who do this, yet maintain a hectic schedule. I dont think I ever gave them enough credit.

Especially if mom is breastfeeding, consider co-sleeping, either in your bed or in a co-sleeper bed that goes next to it. Babies and moms will synchronize their sleeping cycles and not even wake up fully to nurse in the middle of the night.

Bottle fed babies usually sleep through the nights pretty young, since the formula is more filling than breastmilk. (It takes longer to digest, so baby doesn’t feel hungry as soon.)

Consider the Amby motion bed if you’re not into co-sleeping. It moves gently when the baby moves and soothes light sleepers back to sleep without waking up all the way. It’s like having the baby rock her own cradle!

Sleep train early. I did it at 6 weeks. Because I did it so very young, I modified the times you usually find in books. Here’s what I did:

1st night: put her down with lots of hugs and kisses. Say “Good night!” and leave, closing the door. Let her cry 1 minute.
Go back into the room, (don’t pick her up!), reach in and pat her tummy and croon a bit. Say “Good night!” again. Leave and close the door. Let her cry 2 minutes.
Back into the room, (don’t pick her up!), reach in and pat her tummy and croon a bit. Say “Good night!” again. Leave and close the door. Let her cry 3 minutes.
Back into the room, (don’t pick her up!), reach in and pat her tummy and croon a bit. Say “Good night!” again. Leave and close the door. Let her cry 3 minutes.
3 minutes is as long as I would leave a 6 week old crying alone. I’d only repeat 3 minutes once. If that doesn’t do it, give up for the night. (It did it for our girl and for most other babies I’ve done this with.)

2nd night: same thing. Only this time, with ours and with most babies, you only get to the two minute stage, and they fall asleep.

3rd night: same thing - except almost all of them fall asleep right away.

It’s amazing how effective this is. The first night is utter torture, and the second night painful. The third night is miraculous, and you’ll find yourself poking her awake to make sure she’s still breathing.

This can also be done with an older infant or toddler, but it’s harder. Increase the times to 5, 10 and 15 minutes respectively. If you’ve waited until you have a toddler who climbs out of bed, you have to sit next to the bed, not making any sounds or eye contact, and put the child back in bed every single time she gets out. It can be awful - I had one child I had to do this with literally 87 times in two hours. But again, three night of torture means the next 15 years of peace. Then they start staying out late and you’re not sleeping again!

My girl slept through the night (from around 11:00PM until 6:00 AM) at about three weeks :slight_smile:

She was both breast and formula fed and I was very, very lucky.

What got me through the first time was remembering that the new baby would certainly need more sleep in any given day than I would. I simply sleep when she slept.

With the second, it was a little more difficult since the first needed my attention, too.

Don’t worry about that until the baby is there. Just make sure you stay well-rested in the time being. It’s not exactly wise to train yourself to be sleep-deprived, btw.

My mother had 10 children, and with regards to sleep, she says we were all different.

Your news-- a healthy baby girl on the way-- is great! A child does change your life, so try to get quality time time with your mate while you still can do so easily.

BTW, my son never slept through the night. His wife complains about that too. :stuck_out_tongue:

You’ll adjust. My kids are 6 1/2 and 8 (next month) and recently discovered getting their own breakfast on weekends. Huge improvement from my son’s usual “I’m awake and hungry” at the first photon of daylight.

My wife couldn’t breast feed for long (at least that’s her story) so we split the feedings, usually with me going to bed early (9 - 10’ish) and getting up for the 3 - 4 A.M. feeding. Then grabbing another couple hours sleep before work. My wife would stay up till midnight, and then sleep through till 6 - 7 A.M. And due to only 17 months between kids, we did this almost every night for 3 years!

You’ll be tired, but at least you’ll know why, and it’s worth every second of lost sleep IMHO. I can’t remember life before kids at this point. And if you think you have a busy schedule now. hahahahahahaha!!!