Although this one does not follow the “driving while…” pattern, my wife an I use SBI for Spontaneous Braking Incident…those times when someone traveling with the flow of traffic taps their brakes for no reason we can see. They’re not above the speed limit, there are no animals in the road, no accident to rubberneck at, no car in front of the driver in question. Just a sudden impulse to tap the brakes.
I don’t understand it. Some people commit SBI and keep driving at the exact same speed; it doesn’t appear they intended to slow down. Some people commit SBI to slow down a fraction, like from 56-57 to 55; they don’t appear to realize that merely easing up on the accelerator pedal would have the same effect. Maybe they just like buying brakepads.
DWTC – Driving Way Too Closely. This is that guy who obviously never learned the 2-second rule. Or even the half-second rule. If you had to slam on the brakes for any reason, there absolutely would be an accident.
DWBCFB-Driving With Butt Cheeks For Blinders or,
DWBCFEF-Driving With Butt Cheeks For Ear Flaps
these apply to the oblivious texting/phone calling or otherwise rude and dangerous asshats in front of me
DWAW-Driving While Ass Wagon
This applies to those who are behind me and obliviously texting/phone calling speeding, passing on the right, tailgating so close I can’t see your headlights or grill, who pass me while I"M speeding and then slow down to LESS than the speed limit (often the tailgaters)seriously people, you aren’t my wife, and I don’t know you well enough for that kind of intimacy on the road
DWI - Driving While Irish - generally recognized by the excessive playing of Enya, Loreena McKennitt, and Great Big Sea CD’s on the road at unusually high volumes. Unfortunately, also notably associated with traditional DUI as well.
TL;DR: Saudi Crown Prince (and later King) Abdullah bin Abdulaziz visited QEII in 1998; she takes him on a tour of Balmoral royal estate in Scotland. Mindful that females aren’t allowed to drive in Saudi Arabia, she punks him by doing the driving herself while showing him around; freaks him out by doing some breakneck driving on narrow Scottish roads.
Driving While Texting Girlfriend or** B**oyfriend But Married
Applies to: Many married people, as soon as they leave their fucking driveways and can finally communicate with the piece of ass they are trying to secure on the side because their marriage sucks like most marriages do. Nothing is more vital than communicating with that marginal piece of ass they hope to get on the side. They have 30-60 minutes of car freedom; it shall be used for DWTGBBM. The entire ride is actively texting or mostly occupied by looking at the screen hoping the potential side piece of ass texts back during their commute.
Affects: Just about all of us, and most heavily on the morning commute.
How to spot: 30-45 year-olds who start texting from them moment they leave their house or from the moment they leave their neighborhood.
Characterized by refusing to drive over 39 MPH, making sudden unpredictable turns, glancing frequently at cell phone, and regularly being heard cursing about frogs or smurfs.
This was the comment the cop made about the other driver a number of years ago while she was writing up the incident following a strange* accident involving my car.
(*Both vehicles were parked and unoccupied at the time.)
DWAP - Driving Without A Proposal. For cars that, despite traffic being totally clear, tailgate you in the right hand lane, or speed match you within several car lengths on a totally empty 4 lane highway. It’s like they think you’re a couple or something.
Right Thumb - this accounts for people who drive slow in the left lane. Since the right forearm is under the right leg they can not press down on the gas and their balance is off so they drift to the left.
Left Thumb - this accounts for people who drive too fast in the right lane, tailgate and seem incapable of passing. Since the left forearm is under the left leg their balance is off causing the right foot to press hard on the gas and for them to drift far to the right.
DWNSAOV - Driving With No Spacial Awareness Of Vehicle. These are the asshats that have such poor understanding of the size of their vehicles that they leave a foot or two hanging out in the through lanes when they are in the left or right turn lanes. They also can’t manage to stay in their lane while making a turn with multiple turn lanes.
DWTRA - Driving With T-Rex Arms. Apparently these peoples’ arms are too short to turn the steering wheel enough to make a proper left turn, so they just sort of veer on over, turning into the oncoming traffic lane or almost clipping whomever may be stopped there.
