[ol]
[li]My cold: Screw you.[/li][li]The salesman I’ve been trying to buy a camera from all week: When you quote me an awesome price, especially if you quote it 3 times on separate calls as I try to schedule a time to get to your store, especially if I’ve specifically mentioned the model number of the camera at least twice on every call, make sure it’s the price for that model camera! :mad:[/li][li]Grocery store self-checkout system:[/li][LIST=1][li]You sell two kinds of cloth bags. You give points when customers use cloth bags. You advertise them at the front door of the store. For all these reasons, why for the love of Og does trying to use one mean I have to listen to the machine repeat “Unexpected item in bagging area” until the single clerk comes to override it?[/li][li]Why do you have a single clerk? Who can’t leave to do price checks? I either have to pay more than I should for my cookies, or leave them behind. Either way, :mad:[/li][li]Why do you not run all your inventory through them??? I’d like to say it’s a good thing the clerk was right there still to tell me the code for my individually-wrapped somehow-special orange ('cause it’s not in the system), but I’d have just called it a tangerine anyway after not finding it in the list, so nm.[/li][/ol]
[li]USB device company: No, my PC being a 64 bit Vista machine is not the reason your driver decides to lock up on 3% of device open attempts. FYI I haven’t gotten back to you 'cause I’ve written around your little problem, not 'cause you helped.[/li][/LIST]
A hefty fuck you to our customer and my boss’ boss.
They asked for a telecon at 9am and you said sure without thinking which 9am, theirs or ours. You email me the appointment and I dutifully acknowledge without telling my boss. You come waltzing by me and my boss last night and inform us of your mistake, we need to be here for 4am and oh yeah, here’s the various notebooks of everyone else that’s supposed to be there but us…we HAVE to be here. I get pinged by my boss for you not following the chain of command and I get to be up at 3am. Fucker.
So we’re here, its 4:30am so we call them…the customer won’t be ready for another hour. So I’m grumpy, my boss is grumpy and now we’re pissed off with them. It’s gonna be a great day. Fuckers, the lot of 'em.
:eek: :mad: So you’re the guy who’s taking all my global warming! I want it, and I want it now, mister. Freakin subzero (Fahrenheit) temperatures that are 30 - 50 degrees below normal, with wind chill ratings that make penguins give up and move because it’s too damn cold.
THEN we get “more snow in a shorter amount of time than we’ve seen since 1979”. Yeah, well, thanks for that little bit of info. I swear, they gave up saying how much snowfall we had, and contented themselves with “a LOT - and still coming” until it was over.
I WANT MY GLOBAL WARMING. FedEx or UPS would be acceptable, since I want a tracking number on it so I can make sure it gets here.
Once I get my global warming, you can have some snow, if you want it. We got plenty.
This is one of my pet peeves about self-checkout. I have a large canvas bag I use for grocery shopping. Since I use public transit, it makes more sense to have one large bag (which fits nicely on the luggage cart I also use) than a bunch of smaller ones. But every time I use the self checkout, I have to wait for the clerk to notice that I have it to override the “please scan your item before placing it the bag” announcement.
Although it was nice the one time at Harris Teeter when the clerk not only did the override but then came over and moved the plastic bag rack out of the bagging area so my bag fit there better.
Can you just put your stuff on the platform not in a bag and pack it later? I often use my knapsack for groceries, and I just put it on the platform before I start swiping stuff with no problems. That’s at Safeway, though. It might be different in other stores.
Tell me why
I don’t like January
Tell me why
I don’t like January
Tell me why
I don’t like January
I wanna shoo-oo-oo-oo-oot the whole month down.
I fucking hate fucking January. It’s a month of Monday mornings, it’s cold, all these fucking people suck, AAAAAAARGHHHH!
Fuck fuckity fucking fuck, I fucking hate January
Fuck January.
That is all.
Have I got the deal for you! For only four easy payments of $19.99, I will PERSONALLY guarantee you only need suffer approximately TWO MORE DAYS* of January FOR AN ENTIRE YEAR!
- For most values of two, subject to your current time zone.
If you give me a BUT WAIT!!! and throw in February, you’ve got yourself a deal…
BUT WAIT!!! Act now, and we’ll include ALL 28 DAYS of FEBRUARY at NO EXTRA COST!!!
Please allow 6 to 8 weeks for shipping and handling.
Oh boy, February in April!
I can hardly wait for all the cherry blossoms to freeze, again :mad:
Yes, but in Phoenix, where the age of the average driver is 97, the “time for forward fucking movement” is “when pulling out into traffic directly into the path of an oncoming car,” and the “time for contemplation, reluctance, doubt and hesitation,” is “all the rest of the time.”
Screw you, Mr GPS system, for leading me to an abandoned WalMart in a very large city. I know you did it on purpose, since I muted your ass.
I was in hurry for work today and didn’t look in the mirror before I left. I knew my pants were a little tight, but I’ve worn them semi-recently and they matched my shirt.
Come to find out at lunchtime that I’ve been sporting a major cameltoe all day. In front of a high school classroom. Awesome. :smack:
Cite?
Extremely mini rant.
I’ve got a tiny little desk fan that I’d like to use so I don’t end up expiring from heat exhaustion whilst trying to use my computer.
Except my big-ass old CRT monitor (pressed back into service because my LCD went cactus and what with buying a house and all, I don’t really have the cash for a new one) has a spit every time I put the fan actually on my desk. Or on my tower which sits next to the desk. I have to put the desk fan on my husband’s desk in order to be able to use it & not have my monitor freak out.
So I suppose it is a desk fan in the end. It’s on a desk. Just not *my *desk.
Also, it’s FUCKING HOT. 42.3C. Or 108.14 F if you wanna be all weird.
Did the boys seem especially attentive and not too interested in getting out of their seats?
ETA: Only 11 more days of pain from my temporary crown until the permanent one is ready. Goddamn these dentists to hell - “temporary crowns never hurt - 10 working days is just how long it takes to make a crown.” Bullshit and more bullshit. Howsabout I drill a hole in your tooth and leave it exposed for 16 days and see how much you like it?
You want a mini-rant? This one’s about as “mini” as they come, but I’m in a bad mood and I want to bitch about something petty, so here I am.
Fuck collective nouns. A “murder” of crows? A “pride” of lions? Horseshit. How about “some fucking crows and lions”? Or, if you really MUST have an “X of Y” format, check this action out:
A group of crows
A group of lions
A group of samurai
A group of hammers
A group of pretentious motherfuckers who co-opt existing words to mean “group” for absolutely no reason other than to pretend to be intellectually superior to people who have never heard that particular fucking word that means “group” only when applied to one specific thing that maybe six people in the world have any actual need to discuss a group of anyway
What should that last one be? I’m going with “dipcunt”. A dipcunt of pretentious motherfuckers.
In conclusion, fuck collective nouns. Thank you.
And may I just respond with what I hope will be the first of a benison of “you’re welcomes”?
To my coworker:
You brought up in a meeting a few weeks ago how you don’t like the word ‘need’ as in, “I need you to do this. I need this completed.” You personally don’t like it and think it sounds dismissive, demanding, whatever. You say there is no reason we can’t use “would like, do you mind” and others like that.
Now I can understand your point and I don’t mind saying ‘would you…’ but if I say need for some reason, don’t make a big deal about it. There’s a lot of dual control around here (a bank), which needs two people. You know this. We’re a good branch, if small. THere’s a lot of teamwork going on; we’re not all bossing each other around.
Today, I needed you to do something with me. I say, “I would like to go in the vault because I need money.” You sigh and comes over. We go in. As you’re locking the vault, I see you’ve forgotten the ones. I say “I need ones” quickly.
“Oh, I guess you do” delivered in a sarcastic tone.
“What do you mean by that?” I ask, knowing full well what you mean.
“Nothing, I’m just being funny.”
No, you’re not being funny, you’re being a passive-agressive sniping bitch and it’s irritating me more and more each day. You pull shit like this every fucking day and it’s getting old.
So, “I need you to pull the fucking stick out of your fucking ass” is right out, then?