Hello sdmb, I’m new here, and I’d like to hear about the rules. Not the actual ones, but the unspoken rules of etiquette. Can you help me out?
I’m a pretty new poster- I can’t really be all that much help. I can say after several months of reading and posting certain things become a little more obvious/predictable.
Many things may seem contradictory at first.
Other things I think nobody really knows the answer to.
Well, now that that has been posted, I’ll add : don’t piss off (or on) the people who can ban you from posting here. They have the title “Moderator” under their names. Seems simple and basic, I know, but you’d be surprised.
Yes, one should absolutely take what I say in this matter with a grain of salt.
Welcome, welcome! Would you come this way please? We have a banquet for new arrivals just down the hall here.
Hello, Cobast, and welcome. Are you asking about local etiquette on this board, or in the outside world in general?
Welcome. The best rule is written- “Don’t be a jerk”.
The unwritten one is “Buy beer for Mods”.
Every time you swear you have to pay me a dollar.
That’s true. I owe friedo a bundle. 
Welcome to our playground! Along with “Don’t be a jerk,” I’d say it’s good form to avoid resurrecting ancient threads. Many times, the participants are long gone, so addressing them is pretty much pointless. But if you find an old thread that you think merits more discussion, start a new thread and reference the old one.
Also, if you talk about your pets, you’d better be prepared to post pictures and include a link in your post. And, no, we can’t post pics in the threads and we don’t have avatars or animated gifs - we’s classier than that!
There are some informative stickies at the tops of the forum pages - those should answer a bunch of your questions.
Oh, yeah, and you need to send me chocolate. Because I’m nice, dammit!
At first stick more to IMHO and MPSIMS and avoid Great Debates or the Pit. Those just are not the places to hang out when first getting a feel for things. Unless you really want to and then feel free to totally ignore this post.
Tell Father to mind his own business, never come to dinner on time, never eat your soup quietly, and during dessert, always blow your nose.
Cobast, welcome to the Dope.
One unwritten rule seems to be if you use another member’s name in a post, use it in bold.
You’ll be getting some paperwork to fill out. Nothing special, just the usual stuff about your history, work / education experience, arrest record, next of kin, waiver of liability, blood type, medical, organ donor, etc. just the usual. Please use a ballpoint with black or blue/black ink. And remember to press hard, there are 5 copies. After a probationary period, we’ll tell you about the secret handshake and the other stuff for True Brothers And/Or Sisters Of The Straight Dope.
How do you feel about goats. Squids? No, no particular reason for asking, we’re just curious.
Dammit, I think you people have scared off another [del]victim[/del] new member.
In any case, welcome Cobast! What are your feelings on James Otto?
- Don’t quote a whole message with nothing more than a +1 or similar brief but uninformative comment.
- Don’t fuck around with fancy fonts.
- All references to new pets must have links to pictures, especially kittens. The traditional response to such references is “squee”.
- Don’t post links to rense, whale.to, or sites where scary faces jump out at you.
- Generally you bold a user name.
- Use preview
- Use spellcheck.
- Read the thread before you respond.
- At its foundation, this site is composed almost entirely of people who should have chosen the blue pill. Now it’s too late.
Regards,
Shodan
Welcome. One of the unwritten rules is that every month every new user must send 50 dollars cash to those with a specific first letter in their SDMB user name. Coincidentally, this month’s letter is “F”.
And since we’re getting close to the end of the month, let me remind you that January’s letter is H.
Double post. Sorry.
Don’t double post. (Ha ha, couldn’t resist and of course you can ignore me – I’m new, too!)
Welcome!
You’ll get more when you post more.