Jeez! I’m seeing more and more crass replies to folks who only have a few posts in, that if I were the recipients of said replies, I wouldn’t hang around here very long.
There’s a way to point out that a Google search might yield quicker results than posting would without making the OP feel like an idiot for having asked a question in the first place.
A good rule of thumb might be to ask yourself if you would reply that way if the person were standing in front of you instead of asking anonymously on the net.
I mean, damn!
Q
Mods: I don’t mean this as a rant , but if it’s being taken that way, then please move it to the pit. Thanks
I’ll leave it here, Quasimodem, because it’s worth being seen by everyone.
And I’ll echo the sentiments, and perhaps broaden them a bit: Treat others as you would wish them to treat you. That’s pretty much the definition of good manners, and any other approach is pretty much “being a jerk.”
I want to add an “amen” to what Quasi said. Over on the Pizza Parlor, with its overtly Christian focus, we have a rule that says “Post as you would be posted unto.” That’s not quite appropriate for here – but surely the Golden Rule ought to have a lot to say about how not to be a jerk.
I assume nobody here has severe Alzheimer’s – so it should be no great trick to remember how it was when you started posting on the boards – and, having done that, evince some empathy for what the newbie is experiencing.
Sorry if I’m sounding like a Junior Mod. in saying this – It has nothing to do with the rules of the board, and everything to do with treating others with elementary human courtesy.
Well I’m sorry to say so, but I never posted on a website where members are as unbelievable hostile and immature as on this one.
I made a few posts and one topic the first and second day, and that was enough to see immediately a thread made up all about me, where I witness the most unbelievable immature hostile vile rude and insulting denigrating behaviour I’ve ever witnessed on message boards.
There were a few members who tried to tell me on that thread that not everyone is like that clique and I had on posts I made on an other board respectful, interesting and intelligent replies also.
But for the very few days I’m a member here, the incredible immaturity and hostility overnumbers these with 1000%.
If this is the attitude on this website, I’m afraid I’ll leave it for what it is in no time.
This topic and the reactions on it are a hopeful sign though
I think, Alderan, the level of immaturity and antagonism varies with the forum, a bit. Forums like the Pit tend to bring out the worst in many folks – one of the reasons I seldom read anything there. The whole idea behind the Pit was that all that immaturity and hostility and aggression and idiocy would be in one place, which nice, normal people could shun. Or, at least, we’d know that those baser emotions wouldn’t leak out into other forums.
If you found Pit-type behavior elsewhere, please report it to a Moderator. It’s not allowed outside the Pit.
I also think that tempers run higher in the summer (Northern hemisphere) when schools is out. We get a lot of idiot kids with too much time on their hands, searching the web for “dope” (for instance) and finding our site, and posting something inane. You think our main posters are immature, you should wade through some of those first posts. Sigh. There tends to be so many such that some of our members become more skittish about new posters. Unfortunate, but somewhat explicable.
In any case, stick with it, recognize that the most annoying people are always the ones who speak first and loudest, and that there’s plenty here that’s attractive.
Thank you for this thread. I’m enjoying this web site, and have much to learn about how to reply/use the board/ & other things. I think members who’ve been here for a while are patient in most cases/places to newbies. I don’t understand all the lingo, for instance wag/hi—jack etc.
and wish there was a SD Board Dictionary. {There probably is and I don’t know where to find it! (oops, was that an almost hi—jack?) See?!}
I think it’s kind that more knowledged members came in here to read this thread and offer thoughts to it.
For some, posting here can be intimidating if the newbie isn’t used to bulletin/message boards. All in all, I don’t think newbies are treated too harshly. Occasionally, some veteran asshat likes to “school” a newbie and that is painful to watch, but it comes with the territory.
Attention other Newbies: This is an incredibly active board. Take your time, read the forums, learn which forum suits your interests. Use the search option to read about topics that may have already been discussed. Be polite. Don’t start a thread unless you really care about what you are saying, the point you are trying to advance. Take your “hazing” with a grain of salt; joining anything is a process. Message boards are no different than fraternities, sororites, clubs etc…
This board is special because there are so many sincere, thoughtful and just plain smart people here. It is a special place. If you are new, approach it as such. From what I have observed, most veterans here are very welcoming if you are thoughtful and sincere. Take your time.
So, to you, Admins and Mods, this isn’t an attempt to be a junior mod. Just some observations that I hope will help my newbie brethren navigate this place.
The most important thing for a new member to do is to read the SDMB FAQ. Arnold was kind enough to pell out all the rules and guidelines in that thread. It’s stuck at the top of this forum.
There is also a vB “f.a.q.” button at the top of every page. Click that, and you get a mini-manual explaining all the coding and such.
A question directed at the OP: I haven’t really noticed a lot of newbie bashing around here lately, but I may not have been reading the same threads that you are. Is there any way you could narrow it down a little without becoming too specific?
The specifics have been e-mailed to TubaDiva. I will let her decide how best to handle your request, but rest assured I did not post what I did without noting some examples. In short, I do not know how to diplomatically grant your request for more specifics without creating the same problem that caused this thread, and I need you to respect that, please.
While I wholeheartedly concur that biting someone’s head off because they asked about words ending in -gry is inhospitable and mean, let’s not lay the blame totally on disgruntled old timers.
Some of the newbies haven’t read the FAQs or announcements like they were supposed to. Some are rather obnoxious themselves. Some are even – though we’re not allowed to publicly name a specific individual as such – trolls.
While I’m all for giving someone the benefit of the doubt, however, when they start off in a new social group (this one) with their theories of UFO visitations; neo-Nazi ramblings; and blatant over-generalizations of American culture in hand-waving, overly formatted posts, well, the gloves are righteously off.
When I started posting here, I was only 17. I posted something in a forum that, while not against the FAQ, came off as monumentally dumb. It was my first post, and, even though I’d been lurking for an extremely long time, it was awkward.
A respected member immediately made a snide comment towards me, and I didn’t post for almost six months. (And, for the record, I like the guy who did it, so no beef there, mkay?)
All I’m saying is that I think that some people might be being driven away by the lack of tolerance that is often given new posters. I mean, at least give the people a few posts to establish themselves before judging them. Unless someone is flagrantly violating the rules, being a troll, or advocating kicking poor defenseless puppies, I think they deserve some benefit of the doubt. 'Cause, you know, if they’re going to be a problem poster, it’ll be clear soon enough.
Save your sighs, “adult”. The only people who look down on “school kids” are 20-somethings who think they are now adults. Wait a few years and see if you still think that!
Really? They use goats, too? Dangit, I thought we came up with those initiation rites ourselves.
I think that part of what happens with newbies, though, is that they don’t know what to expect of this place. Here at the SD, we hold everyone to high standards, not just newbies. But veterans are more used to it. If somebody asks me “cite, please”, for example, I’m not insulted. I either find a cite, or admit that I don’t have one and that my argument is thereby weakened. But I can see how a newbie might regard that reply as hostile.
That said, though, it might be best if people kept track of who the newbies are, and tried to go a little easier on them. Yes, they’re going to have to learn to fit in, but there’s no reason to make that process of adjustment uncomfortable. Maybe preface the “Cite please” with “Not that I doubt you or anything, but around here it’s traditional to ask for cites.”. And instead of lambastng a person for not searching, maybe “Have you tried Google? Searching on the terms of ____, I found these links which may be relevant.”. Once a person has been around for a while, you can shorten those up, and folks will know what you mean. But for newbies, it might pay to be a little extra polite.
<< The only people who look down on “school kids” are 20-somethings who think they are now adults. >>
Tread easy here, Durabrite. I very carefully said “idiot kids” – I was not trying to classify all “school kids” as jerks. It’s just that we do tend to get a high proportion of school-aged twats posting here. I did not mean to imply that the proportion of twats to humans is any different among the school-aged than for any other segment of the population.
Well, about that remark “cite”… It is not always as easy as you think it is.
First of all, as historian, I don’t trust “websites” and I don’t trust “articles” to serve a reliable references. (Those coming from official websites like for example the UN excluded). That would be about the same as throwing my whole library in the Atlantic.
When I talk about something, it is because I’m informed about it by several sources and by my own experience and/or by the studies I did who make me able to bring that information.
That is not “tracable” on “Websites” or “articles” on the Internet because it reflects my own conlcusions on certain things, which is founded on my information, my acquaintance with the issue and my sources. In addition: That information and those sources are not spelled out in English. Of course I sometimes read also English sources, but then they give only an aspect (and sometimes an invalid one) of the puzzle. And they aren’t “online”. An exception on this can be when I refer to something that happened recently and is tracable on the website of the media. Which counts for me not as a reliable source to “cite” either, since it only reflects the (direct or indirect) witnessing and report of one single person. Eventually quoting others in an interview, which is also a subjective report of the words of the one interviewed.
So what exactly do you people refer to when you say “cite”?
I have a topic running about the problem of Christian proselytizers who want to go into Iraq. I describe the problems that will cause.
People say “cite”. Every one can post here stories (?)
Now I ask you: must I post my birth certificate, my genealogy and my diplomes to prove that I know how such a society works because I was born and live in one and in addition made it my studyfield? Or what…
In such cases is claiming for “cites” in my eyes only a matter of disrupting the conversation because never willing to believe that some one can be informed. This can’t work, no?
