New mini rants, with more swear words

The BBQ Pit
1

I hate to open a new thread of my own for this, so I’ll leave the floor open once I’m done for other small rants.

Clueless Meat People at the Grocery Store
I had an errand to run on the way home from work yesterday. I was directed to buy a bag of shrimp, because the wife wanted shrimp fajitas for dinner last night. Fine, I say, and decided that I wanted chicken fajitas for myself.

I mosey to the meat department, and find a package of ground chicken that was procesed outside of the store. I look at the pack, see that it weighs about a pound, find the nutrition label, BUT NO PRICE. I look at the rack, and SEE NO PRICE. Harumph.

I go looking for the meat manager, who was nowhere to be found. I do get the ‘butcher’, who was not a manager of any type.

“There’s no price on this, nor is there one on the rack.”

“That’s OK. The barcode will give you the price when you check out.”

“But I have no idea how much it is. Nothing tells me what it costs.”

“That’s what the barcode is for.”

“I can’t read the barcode. This could be 6 bucks, and I’d have no idea until the cashier rings it up.”

“That’s what the barcode is for.”

“Why don’t you do your fucking job, and price the goddamn chicken?”

“That’s what the barcode is for. And don’t cuss me for doing my job.”
Gaaaaaaaaah!

2

Wow. How dense can you be?

Dalhousie Firewall–

Who’s bright idea was this? I get the problem–you wanted to stop file sharing. And it worked. BitTorrent is in a state of complete non-functionality, and I’m willing to bet that Limewire, Kazaa and the like are all borked as well. While I’m not happy with this, I won’t complain.

BUT YOU’RE ALSO BLOCKING MY FUCKING IRC CLIENT!!! I need to connect through my browser now, which is not only a touch more inconvenient, but is also far more susceptible to accidental closures or disconnects due to hitting the wrong button while trying to switch tabs. And that’s just one of the servers I connect to–I don’t know of a browser-based way to get into the other, leaving me completely cut off.

And if the Blizzard updater is still blocked I’m going to be pissed. (Oddly enough, last year BitTorrent worked mostly fine, but the Blizzard Updater was almost completely blocked–lets hope the trend has reversed).

3

Got another chapter in the grocery store compendium ----

If you’ve got ONE child, please don’t use the store’s fancy-schmancy (and thoroughly unwieldy) car-shaped carts that seat TWO.

Yes, they’re pretty (some of them even have steering wheels), but they also serve an important purpose.

To whit - they’re the only carts in the store that seat TWO SMALL CHILDREN SIMULTANEOUSLY, buckled in, and safely contained.

Having one kid buckled in the seat & the other sitting in the basket rather defeats the purpose of going to the grocery store, and it’s also patently unsafe. Dragging another cart doesn’t work b/c the kid in the basket has to be watched with an eagle eye.

If you’ll leave me the big, 2-seater cart, I’ll smile and nod as you make “vroom-vroom - beep - honk honk” noises to your kid. Shoot, I’ll even join you, we can pretend it’s the Grand Prix.

4

All I did was try to feed the pet birds you left to starve for four days.

For this transgression, you key one side of my car, and kick a big dent in the other?

I had a nice chat with your probation officer, you fucking pussy.

5

Ugh. I’ve got a rant against myself.

I was going around all day yesterday stewing about something, thinking that I needed a mini-rant thread. Now there is one, and I can’t remember what dumb thing I wanted to post.

6

I just read the other thread. You are a good person for trying to help and they are a bunch of fuckwits. I’m sorry about your car. I hope you get some justice.

7

To the two twenty-something slackers that wok in the repair lab: FUCK YOU for thinking that G. Gordon Liddy is “a cool old bastard” on Fear Factor, and for saying “What is Watergate” and “He stole some papers to protect the President.” Libby is a nutcase, and I wouldn’t be surprised to find out he actually killed people back in the summer of 1972.

And pay attention to the world around you - Watergate was a watershed event in both American politics and modern journalism. Much of the way we see both fields today stems directly from that.

8

I can’t believe how much this is pissing me off. Please don’t let those assholes prevent you from doing another good deed in the future.

Any chance that you can swipe the birds sometime when they go out?

9

Not one of the three extra boys (Grade 8) who I drive in the carpool EVER say “thank you”. I think I’ll kill them.

10

Why do people without a fixed schedule have to shop during lunch? I ran to the mall during my lunch hour today, and I stood in line to check out behind old ladies and mothers pushing baby strollers. Why can’t they shop before 11 or after 1?

11

GRRRR. I hate this, too. And they shuffle along so fucking slowly. MOVE YOUR FUCKING ASS BEFORE I RUN IT DOWN. And they park their carts right in the middle of the aisle, along with their fat asses.

My walking speed is fast. I’ve got things to do and then I have to get back to work! Get out of the way, you stupid old person!

pants Ok, I’m better now.

12

Black rabbit, you are my hero! Good on you for taking it where it deserves.

13

For my kids pediatrician:

Hi. I’m not a Dr. That’s why I brought my kid to you. Twice. CoPayment #1: “Yeah his lungs are clear. The cough syrup you’re giving him is ok.” Except, your diagnosis was wrong. Hey, I make mistakes at work too, but when they cost clients money, I reimburse them for it.

A week later, he’s almost passing out from coughing, so I bring him back for CoPayment #2: “Wow, that cough is bad. sounds like whooping cough. Here’s an anti-biotic scrip & if he’s not better Friday, bring him back.”

Ok, what part of that statement says “your child has a severely contagious disease that needs to be brought under control with 5 days of anti-biotics before he can come into contact with other kids. Your school needs to be notified that kids have been exposed to him and your local board of health will need a report filed out on this as well. Oh yeah, you and your wife and any siblings are now at high risk for this as well.”

How the Hell was I supposed to know Any of this? I’m an office worker, not a Dr, and if you had pointy ears, I’d drag you by them to every teacher, student and coworker you put at risk by not giving me all the facts so they could kick you in the balls/ovaries before and after listening to your personal apology.

Maybe you’ll say your sorry tomorrow, when you’re filling out the mandatory form required to let my son back into school come Monday. You know, when you’re sticking out your had for Yet Another Copayment…! (Fucktards…)

14

I attempted to join a discussion about religion only to have some raging asshole call me a cunt in Great Debates. I’m actually only pissed with myself since I fucking knew better.

[Scarlett O’Hara] As God is my witness, I’ll never talk about religion here again! [/Scarlett O’Hara]

Life’s too short, you know? I don’t have enough emotional capital that I can allow myself to be infuriated by someone I neither know nor respect. Stupid Jodi. That’ll larn ya.

15

We haven’t been able to find ground veal at the supermarket for a long time. My wife wants to make a new dish that calls for ground veal. So yesterday, we went to an actual butcher shop. Didn’t see any. so I asked the lady if they carried it. She drawled, in italics, “grawand vee-yul?” like I had been speaking in a foreign language. She had to go back and ask somebody in the back, and when she returned, I was informed that they had never heard of it. They had goat shoulders and alligator and pig’s feet and ox tails… but no veal.

Maybe baby cows are out of season.

16

…which makes the baby Jesus cry…

17

Tell me about it. My recipe for bolognese ragu calls for 2 parts ground beef and 1 part each of grawand vee-yul and ground pork, as do my meatloaf and meatball recipes. Whenever I see the elusive ingredient in question, I buy a few pounds of it and stash it in the freezer against future dinners.
Today I’m pissed because our “personal banker” opened a home equity line of credit in our name against our wishes. We only found out about it when we got a mailing from the bank asking us for a $25 yearly fee to keep it open! It has been like pulling teeth to get that account closed up again. We’ve had to wait for the bozo to mail us the forms to close the account, and it has taken three weeks. I’m sure he did it just to meet some sort of sales quota. “Look, boss! I told some more fools on that fee-generating line of credit account!”

Shithead.

18

Sigh. “sold”, not “told”.

Double shithead.

19

To whoever designed the software I’m now working on:

For the love of God and all that is good, why the fuck are there three different programs that have to share this data, each of which has a differently named variable and a different storage format, with cracked out conversions to and from, arcane caching rituals, and absurd message transport protocols, to store a fucking number that can range, at most, between 0 and 32.

20

Dogs ate my copy of Brain Age! Grr!

Now I understand that Brain Age is delicious. But it would have been nice if the dogs or their owners had offered to help me get a new copy. I lost months of saved progress and unlocked activities, dammit!
sigh. My brain has probably aged to, like, 42 by now.