Emmy for best catfight during a political discussion show
Emmy for freakiest facelift or Botox job, any type of show
Emmy for dumbest weather reader
Oscar for longest hang-time in a flying kickboxing scene
Oscar for most individual CGI figures in an epic battle scene
Tony for most convincing segue from dialog into song
Tony for best cast goes-into-the-audience gimmick
Oscar for biggest “character transformation”
Grammy for best (worst?) “sampling” of a classic rock song. (and you notice “sampling” is in quotes… I think it’s ripping off, eh, Kanye?)
Emmy for the Daytime show that has the most convincing bizarre mental condition. (Does everyone in the town develop amnesia at some point?)
They need only to borrow from Television Without Pity, where the Tubey Awards offer:
Character Most in Need of Being Killed Off
Least Improved Show
Worst Relationship
Most Redemptive Character in a Sucky Show
Best Performance by an Inanimate Object
Best Sidekick
Best Badass
Most Overhyped Big-Name Guest Appearance
Most Ludicrous Plotline
Worst Crime Against Fashion
Most Egregious Product Placement
and more!
No fake category here, but I would like to see the an Academy Award for achievement in stunts, to be given to the stunt coordinator.
An Oscar for voice work would be nice, since they seem to be refusing to recognize it can be acting on exceptional scale (Andy Serkis, Ellen DeGeneres).
Then again, the Academy generally ignores comedy, too.
How about a separate Oscar category for first-time performers? It must be a little frustrating to be an experienced actor who loses an award to someone who’s never acted before.
Apropos of nothing more than the mention of Emmy in the title, my next door neighbour won an Emmy this year for Art Direction for the John Adams miniseries. I just noticed it sitting in the window on her desk. cool.
The thing I always suggest in these threads is separate categories for Best Picture similar to what they do in the Golden Globes.
5 Nominees in Drama, 5 in Comedy/Musical.
Best Ensemble Cast
A serious category: Awards for best cast.
A category other than serious: Best nude scene.
Technical oscar for funny bad edits. Like when the Trojan battle has contrails in the sky,
Or when, in Titanic, the guy fell off the back of the boat and clunked his head on the propeller…
Tony award for Best Gimmick Casting.
To steal one from Douglas Adams: Most Gratuitious Use of the Word “Fuck” in a Motion Picture. (The word “Fuck” was changed to “Belgium” in the American version, sort of ruining the joke, but adding a humorous explanation as to why “Belgium” is such a horrible swear word, known to all except those fools who named a country after it.)
Well, both the Visual Effects and the Sound Recording did win Oscars for that film, so…
An Emmy for more than a single season but less than a lifetime achievement. Maybe Best Continuing Characterization over Multiple Seasons. This would get folks like **Dann Florek **and **Epatha Merkerson **for their solid work in the L&Os.
That would be great. I think I’d throw Sam Waterson on there. He’s been on forever and he’s great. There are lots of actors that would deserve that award.