Gee, I could rant about THAT, too, except I already signed an agreement not to give any details about the hiring process.
Well, I passed several initial tests of suitability and am now waiting for positive news on the credit check. Then I can get a physical. Then I’m in the “pool” of people they draw from, as needed.
It’s a looooooooong process.
Winkers are the worst. One of our office managers will tell a dumb joke, then upon receiving no laughter, find someone to lock into direct eye contact, and then wink and smile. This forces the hapless target to vomit up fake sympathetic laughter else they appear to be the jerk.
Now, when he tells any sort of joke, I immediately make myself busy with some random task like refilling the lead in my mechanical pencil, avoiding any chance of eye contact until the lame duck jokes dies a festering victimless death.
You work in the White House?
Oh man, I could write novels about the lame joke people. Ever waited tables? I get a thousand times more lame jokes waiting tables than I ever did working retail. I swear, every fucking person who says “you’re out of [item I wanted]? That means whatever else I want is free, right? Haha.” or “I thought you were paying!” when I bring the check thinks they are being the most original person on the face of the planet.
Whoa, they actually DO this? Have you ever reminded any of them that they’re stealing?
They’re not stealing, they’re sampling. Like when you go to Safeway and fill a bag with bulk candy, eat half of it while shopping, and pay for what’s left when you reach the checkout. :rolleyes:
Do you have any fat-free nuts? - No, she wasn’t kidding. 'Nuf said.
I don’t want pecan halves - don’t you sell whole, shelled pecans? - No, actually we don’t. Neither does anyone else. As soon as you figure out to get them out of the shell in one piece let us know, OK?
Put the cellphone DOWN! - Now, I’m not talking about someone who has been sent to pick something up, or needs something specific for a wedding or baby shower or other event, who says “Just a sec - let me call and make sure”, makes the call, asks only the relevant question(s), is strictly business, then hangs up and resumes shopping.
No, I’m talking about people who wander in while speaking to a person who isn’t present, continues to wander around the store with glazed eyes, and never stops that conversation. We don’t know if they’re looking or ready to order. Do we interrupt them to ask? Oh - wait, he/she is waving us away. These people order by pointing vaguely, refuse to state how much they want of something, wander off while you’re measuring out what they (you think) asked for… Oh, and we DON’T want to know that much detail about what you did with your boyfriend/girlfriend last night. Really. That’s just gross.
It’s possible but quite difficult and labor intensive. I’ve managed it a few times by placing the nut on a counter and rolling it under my palm to crack the shell.
I’ve heard a certain candy maker hires squirrels to do it.
The lame joke I’ve heard about in retail the most is from cashiers. Something doesn’t scan. “Oh, it must be free!”
People steal underwear far more often than I want to think about. Seriously, they will tear into a three-pack and take one pair. Why they don’t just take one of the cheap-ass single pairs that would be less work to steal I don’t know. I learned this working at Wal-Mart. They do the same thing with socks. Thank Og I’m out of retail.
I had a guy today ask to talk to The Boss because I was trying to tell him I couldn’t do this, but before I could say I can do that he said he wanted The Boss. The Boss transferred him back to me and told me we could do that for him. I knew that. The guy hadn’t let me tell him! LET ME HELP YOU! PLEASE!