For immediate release from the Institute for Made-up Diseases:
The Institute for Made-up Diseases has announced the emergence of a new affliction called Mood Hair.
Mood Hair manifests itself as a striking change in the color of one’s hair, apparently in reaction to the infected person’s emotional conditions. The IMD has documented hundreds of cases such as
[ul]Persons in the midst of a heated argument developing bright fire-engine red hair[/ul]
[ul]States of sexual arousal demonstrated by bright royal blue hair[/ul]
[ul]Jealousy & envy: green hair[/ul]
[ul]Embarrassment: pink hair[/ul]
[ul]Fear: a streak of bright yellow hair across the centerline of the scalp, running from front to back[/ul]
[ul]Lack of comprehension or feelings of being emotionally “lost”: white hair with black “ink dipped” ends[/ul]
[ul]Deceitfulness & shame: orange hair[/ul]
The above colors such as red and yellow are unmistakable, and look nothing like the red or blonde hair that most people have naturally. Addiotnal color-emotion mapping is still being researched. Instances of purple and multicolored hair have been onserved but have not been assigned to moods yet. Rumored reports of checkered and paisley hair have not been confirmed.
Commercial hair dyes are contraindicated as dyed hair that undergoes constant mood-color change will fall out after just a few days, leaving the afflicted individual totally bald. The person’s natural (albeit mood-color afflicted) hair grows back rapidly.
At this time it is unknown how the disease is spread. Perhaps the IMD will come up with something later in this thread.
So there we have it. What do you plan to do if you catch mood-hair disease? Do you think you could live with it? Would you shave your head and thus reveal yourself to the world as a spineless individual who just can’t deal with the whole world knowing how you feel about anything and everything?
Me, I’m going to open a wig store.
This isn’t a new thing. Oscar Wilde had a character say this of a widow:
“I hear her hair has turned quite gold from grief.”
Nothing much to add aside from noting that Frank Zappa had the perfect handle on this:
Well, lemme straighten you out
About a place I know . . .
(Get yer shoes ‘n socks on people,
It’s right aroun’ the corner!)
Out through the night
An’ the whispering breezes
To the place where they keep
The Imaginary Diseases,
The character of Jool from Farscape had a limited case of Mood Hair, her normal hair color was brownish-orange, when she got mad, it became fire-engine red
Being a Blue Hair already has a completely different meaning.
I already wear my emotions quite plainly. I can’t imagine having to pick an outfit based on my haircolor in the morning and risk it changing throughout the course of the day.
That’d be cool. But what color would my hair be when I was feeling confident, assertive, sanguine, elated, sated, giddy, or horny?
July 13, 2008, 9:59pm
It would certainly make work meetings more interesting - I say I’d keep it, at least at first.
Looks at TheKid, who is currently sporting white with very bright purple peek-a-boo and shadow
Kid, you may NOT die your hair blue again. Got it?
Yeah, I wouldn’t go for it. I’m pretty externally stoic, people don’t need to know my emotions.
Shave my head. That’s what I’d do. My face already gives too much away.
That could get awkward if you live in a retirement community.
What about people who are bald? That would make it look like we are hiding something other than bad genes.
July 14, 2008, 7:02pm
Yeah, that’s it. I shave my head just for poker games.
I once dated someone with mood hair. She was in a pink mood in those days.