It’s all due to a trauma I suffered when I was a “sbool” boy. I was attacked by a bat.
A cat?
No, a bat!
Bat Masterson. Bat Masterson, fastest cane in the West.
He say, “Gooood idea.”
It’ll be a triumph I tell you, a triumph. And if it isn’t, we’ve still got three days to think of something else.
It’s a masterpiece I say! They will cheer every word, every letter.
Oh, no. Calling THIS a flop would be an INSULT to flops. We’ve found a disaster, an apocalypse, a catastrophe, an outrage, a career-buster, a guaranteed-to-close-before-it-opens beauty!
-John Morlar: I have a “gift” for disaster.
- Dr. Zonfeld: You seem to have survived it.
- John Morlar: I don’t mean for me, I mean for others.
I’ve got a bad feeling about this.
Well, when I’m good, I’m very good. But, when I’m bad… I’m better!
No, Frank, you know, is she better than self-abuse?
-“BB”-
Everyone I know has a big “But…”? C’mon, Simone, let’s talk about your big “But”.
I know what you’re thinking, Simone. This is a phony baloney world. Everything’s fake.
Adam Bonner : [takes a bite out of his fake gun] Licorice. If there’s anything I’m a sucker for, it’s licorice.
Look at your fine self. I bet you have on a thong made of licorice, don’t you?
Sometimes I sing and dance around the house in my underwear. Doesn’t make me Madonna. Never will.
Mr. Sulu, have the thrusters fired?
Admiral, I’m receiving whale song.
This is a disaster.
(voice on phone) Why?
Because we don’t have theft insurance on the whale, that’s why.
-“BB”-
Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines.
I feel the need… the need for speed!
The Audience: Juice by Sara, juice by Sara, juice by Sara oh, Sara’s got juice, Sara’s got juice, ohhhhhhhh Sara!