You know for someone with so many horrible issues thrown at them day in and day out your empathy tank seems a bit under-filled. Just saying.
Yeah, I hated him. He was a tool. No I don’t have empathy for that asshole at all. He betrayed me at my lowest point in life. I’m not obligated to feel empathy for the people who hurt me.
Ditto.
I just want to be clear the issue is not a “lack of empathy for people with TBIs” issue so much as a “lack of empathy for that one specific guy” issue. And even then I had some empathy toward him because I think my Aunt treated him like shit. I’m very close to my Aunt and it’s the one thing I’ve ever seen her do that I think is really wrong. So I have mixed feelings, I guess, empathy for what it would be like to be used in a relationship the way he was, and pure blinding rage for what he did to me. He’s just one person on a long list who fucked me over at that time in my life, but it doesn’t really take away the sting. When you think you have someone in your corner and then they definitively prove that you don’t, it hurts.
Better the fleas you find than the ones you don’t.
Once you find them, they can go suck something else.
Thank you. Yes, I’m alright; we weren’t extremely close in a hang out sort of way. I liked her and liked working with her, and I feel awful she didn’t get to enjoy a long retirement with her husband. He’s not the sort of guy to do too well alone. I’m sure the kids will look after him, but well you know. Somewhat darkly amusing my coworkers are telling me not to retire now. She, too, lingered on the job with few shifts until she retired. I’m not superstitious, but it does give pause. A longer response than you were probably expecting. RIP Sheryl
s
OK, a bit more upbeat but sooo annoying. I sometimes read, “Women’s fiction.” These books tend to focus on women at the advanced age of 40 to mid 40’s. You know 'cause we all know your life is pretty much passed you by and you’re old.
Anyway, the biggest annoyance for me is not that they act like 40 is old, that the protagonist is always being romanced by some guy who she is determined is too hot for her. No, what I hate is the assumption that every woman who has ever delivered a child whether vaginal or c-section, constantly has to worry about peeing her pants. It is a constant thing in all of these books. I have also seen it mentioned in commercials, but at least the commercials are trying to sell water resistant underwear/diapers.
I delivered 3 kids vaginally, one with forceps. I have not and do not have a incontinence issue. I’m sure there are many women who do, but not all women have this issue. The same thing about menopause. For cry eye some people have a tough time others don’t. I have never seen a woman have a hot flash so bad that everyone stops in their tracks to stare at her. And ask her if she needs medical attention.
Seriously, middle age is not a crippling disorder. At least I don’t remember it that way, and at least no one I know seemed ready for a hospital or 24/7 diaper use. 
E: 'Cause paragraphs are a thing.
I’m almost a year past menopause (last period was in April 2022), and really had no trouble at all. In fact, it took me a few months to notice I hadn’t had a period in quite some time (and pregnancy was not a possible explanation). As for the occasional bit of bladder “leakage”, I’ve been noticing a very occasional bit of difficulty (mostly when sneezing or coughing when my bladder is not empty) for about 5 years now. I’m 54 and have never even been pregnant.
I have stress incontinence from childbirth. I did physical therapy for it. It didn’t help. It’s not really an issue except when I’m sick, but it makes being sick just that extra amount of shitty. Like last year when I had RSV and a racking asthma cough. I guess I don’t really need to read about it in fiction, but I don’t really read “women’s fiction” anyways.
I put that in quotes because I hate the whole idea that stories about women’s lives need to be a special category in case men accidentally read about them or something.
True about, “Womens’ fiction,” however it’s not so men accidentally read it. It’s so young women who don’t want to read about, "Older Women don’t accidentally read it. ‘Cause you know it would be stressful and traumatic for them n’ stuff.
Oh, and I’m 64, 65 next month. And I’m over 20 years past. I had a few heavy periods and a couple mild hot flashes. No one called 911 for me. 
Consider yourself to be lucky. I used to get hot flashes that would have me sweating in a government air conditioned cube. I’d start sweating rivers and turn red in the face and neck. Nobody ever called an ambulance for me, but I did have people bring me a chair on a regular basis.
You don’t even want to hear about the night sweats, LOL!!!
Hm, sounds to me like someone’s trying to make bank on the stereotypical insecure middle-aged female demographic (and perhaps being successful). Perhaps find something else you like to read?
I had a few hot flashes but no one was aware unless I fanned myself. They only lasted about a minute. It was the memory problems that bothered me. BTW, I’ve been taking prempro for quite some time.
My Aunt is going through menopause right now and it’s an absolute nightmare because of PMDD and endometriosis, both of which run in my family. They had to take her off birth control and now everything’s fucked. We’ve never seen any woman in the family go through menopause because everyone else had a medically necessary hysterectomy earlier in life. She’s the first. Turns out it’s really bad. Well, she’s getting her hysterectomy in February. She told me to be pre-emptive and get mine before I hit menopause, but I don’t think anyone is likely to approve that until I actually start having symptoms. I am 40. Right now I am controlled with birth control. Fun things to look forward to.
No I’m considering myself to be lucky!
I sure hope it isn’t as bad for you.
Me too, but I’m a mess without birth control, so it probably will be me. But I definitely don’t have time in my life for major surgery at the moment. Maybe when my kid’s older. I just have to take things as they come.
Not unique to you, nor to your gender. My grocery-shopping forgetfulness is legendary in these threads. The typical two-step process is (1) I start making a grocery list a few days ahead of time, because I’m always forgetting to add the things I need, and they come to me one or two items at a time, and then (2) I depart for the supermarket, leaving the list behind. This has now happened so many times that it’s practically a tradition!
Using a smartphone app for your grocery list would help with that, unless you’re then going to leave your phone behind. 
There’s no such thing as ‘no menopause’ if you either a) live long enough or b) get thrown into it artificially. There’s a whole world of different reactions to it though.
Women who have had a hysterectomy that includes removal of their ovaries as part of the surgery (often called a ‘total’ hysterectomy), will go into menopause after the surgery.
Not all hysterectomies include ovary removal, though, so it will happen later in that case. And the range of symptoms as a reaction to either the natural or surgical reduction of hormone production is as variable as individual women are.
Every time I walk through the doors of the Dollar store, I forget what I wanted. I joke that they spray a memory eraser every time the door opens.