Well, that’s the thing, Eve. We’re trying to decide whether it even would be a world without you, Uke, Zev, etc. The consensus of this thread seems to be that in a plausible scenario, Zev at least would probably survive, if he were at home (I’m not sure exactly where you live, or how close it is to the hypothetical blast site).
Eve wrote:
“. . . But would you even want to live in a world without me, Ukelele Ike, Oxymoron, Billdo, Zev . . . ?”
::cough::cough::CHOUGH!!!::
Japan didn’t rebuild their country, the US rebuilt their county–at least mostly. Who would want to help us? (not that we don’t deserve it, it just seems like most countries aren’t as interested in helping as we are.)
War Operations Planned Response.
Wassa madda, youse got a cold, **stuyguy ** ?
(You have to say it in his primative, native pigdin, or else he won’t understand.)
Bzzzt…wrong answer. Close but wrong.
Lets try
War Operations Plan and Response.
Nah…I’m not grading on use of conjunctions or conjugations…just the main words themselves.
Hint: Only one word is wrong in both answers so far. If you plan on getting it right you’ll have to think of a new agenda to work it out.
Wimpy Obscure Press Release?
One point for cleverness. Smart asses are always appreciated. 
Well, I’ve met Uke and Billdo and Oxymoron. My answer?
No way. 
Of course, we’re ignoring a much more plausible scenario, and one with less dramatic but no less dire consequences.
A dirty bomb. Forget Ground Zero, it’s too pat. My fear is that one will be detonated on top of a skyscraper, showering the greater NYC area with radiation.
This stuff gives me nightmares. I think it’s supposed to. 
Well, if a dirty bomb does go off in NYC, the worst bit for Eve, Ukelele Ike, Billdo, Oxymoron et alia will be having to wear those baggy mutant robes and rubber faces, plus having to daven in front of the Doomsday Device (you know, the big metal Brancusi-looking thingie with alpha and omega on its fins) on High Holy Days, plus having to deal with those pesky, damn, dirty apes.
I work in downtown DC these days, so I’m right smack in the center of the bullseye. In the event of a nuclear strike, I’m going to be fallout, grey ash floating in the wind like the last line of a haiku.
Will someone add me to the list damn it?!?! When our guts get vaporized why should Eve, Ukelele Ike, Billdo & Oxymoron be the only ones remembered?
Boy this thread is making me look forward to my first trip to the United State of Paranoia next month.
Not that i’m especially looking forward to returning to London, with the rumours of ricin being randomly smeared on door handles and escalator handrails in the near future…
i wanna know… if nyc is screwed… wall street and what not. do they house those computers that save all the records and what not somewhere else?
kind of like in fight club where they blow up all the credit card companies to erase all records and start everyone back at zero again… are we protected against something similar to that?
not that a bomb in nyc wouldnt be terrible, but right now as it stands, if that happened and we werent prepared, everything would be severely fudged across the nation… but if all that info an such was backed up somewhere safe, i think most of the nation, besides being really panicked, would still be alright… we wouldnt have to rebuild all of that… i dunno if im saying this right, i cant say it exactly how im thinking but, maybe you guys understand what im trying to ask / say ?
Is there a consolation prize? The computer was called WOPR. It had a backdoor keyed “Joshua”
in case the other one is still not working.
Go here–
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=162871
BLAST IT!!!
Everybody in this thread read the link!!! :mad:
I feel so…loved <grin>.
A serious question, especially for Zev. I recall speaking very seriously with my father back in the early 80s, I believe after Testament aired. Because of the likelihood of prolonged agony, we agreed in that we would use my Dad’s gun to remove ourselves quickly, rather than endure nuclear winter and/or airborne radiation poisoning, if our then-home city of Seattle wasn’t incinerated immediately.
Of course, the likelihood of a huge exchange of ICBMs is much less. But now I live in New York, where a smaller bomb could have similar effects. At this point, I don’t think I’d off myself, but I’m not sure.
What are the ethical issues in your branch of Judaism, Zev? Would suicide or homicide be permissible, or perhaps even required, to avoid a guarantee of greater suffering?
Generally speaking, within Judaism, suicide is bad. Real bad. To my knowledge (and I’ll be the first to admit that in this area it is somewhat limited) there are no grounds for justifying suicide. Even if one is required to allow oneself to be martyred (rather than, for example, kill an innocent), one is not allowed to take his own life to avoid the situation.
Of course, OTOH, there is the story of Masada, the mountaintop fortress in the desert that held out against the Romans. In the end, the defenders chose to kill themselves rather than fall into Roman hands and a life of slavery and suffering. However, the story of Masada is a bit complicated for two reasons:
(1) The defenders involved (at least according to Josephus) chose to kill one another rather than actually commit suicide. This would tend to tell us that suicide is worse than murder.
(2) There were, to my knowledge, no Torah scholars on Masada. What actions they took may not have been in accordance with normal Jewish law.
So, in the end, I don’t know if any proof can be brought from the actions of the defenders at Masada. Likewise, I don’t know if any proof could be brought from the actions of King Saul either, as he was clearly manic toward the end of his life.
So, where does that leave us? I don’t know. Later Rabbinical writings do create the impression that suicide (which is also a form of murder) is worse than murder. Logically (to me) this doesn’t really click. In the end, after boring you for five paragraphs, I have to tell you that I don’t know the answer. If I were forced to make a ruling based on my limited knowlege, I’d say “no,” you can’t commit suicide to avoid later suffering. But in all cases, contact a competent Rabbi who would probably be able to answer this question much better than I can.
Zev Steinhardt