I gave my notice at work today. I’ve been wanting to quit for ages – I’m bored and the commute is really long and I can likely make more money as a freelancer now that the local copywriter market is perking up a bit. (Just a bit.) And my wife and I finally figured that the time was right. But I’m still nervous, of course, because I’m not quitting to go directly to a new job.
So after my supervisor lets our department know I’ll be leaving, I have this conversation with one of my cow orkers:
Orker: You’re leaving?
Me: Yes.
Orker: Well I know that someone as smart as you wouldn’t go without
having another job lined up.
Me: I’m going to be freelancing, actually.
Orker: Really? You must be pretty confident and have a bunch of projects
lined up, because the market’s pretty tight. I mean, I’ve been trying to
freelance my illustrations and just getting nowhere.
Hey, Orker. I politely brushed you off at this point in the conversation, but I’d like to note that just because you say that I’m smart doesn’t mean that you get to go ahead and deride my future plans. Yes, I’d prefer to have another job lined up. Yes, it’s a bit of a gamble. No, I don’t have my next six months booked solid, but I do have some leads, and really, it’s none of your fucking business.
Perhaps you’re having difficulties in the freelance market because you’re an annoying nimrod who can’t let a differing opinion exist in the same room without wanting to stomp on it. Or because you spend too much time at a job you don’t like to be effective freelancing for someone else.
Just my .02, but I didn’t take that as insulting in the least. Maybe he’d like to quit too and he’s just asking you questions to see what you’re going to do. Or maybe you are really worried that you won’t find work and you’re taking it out on Orker.
Most of it was tone of voice – telling me that because I’m smart I must have everything post-leaving lined up already implies that if I don’t have everything filled out, I’m being stupid. I’ve also heard him use the “confident” line to insult other people a bit too often to like hearing it come from me. Generally, if he thinks people are “pretty confident,” he thinks they’re being foolish.
I admit I’m likely overreacting – this particular Orker is essentially a nice guy, although not the most socially skilled person on the planet, and I don’t really think he means me ill.
I feel your pain. I quit my old job 6 months ago to freelance. I got tons of stunned expressions from co-workers - people looked at me like I must be the biggest idiot in the world not to have a full-time job lined up before I left. I’m very satisfied now because, while I’m not raking in the dough or anything, I’m making enough to squeak by for now, and things are improving.
Remember that the best revenge is to be successful (then rub their noses in it later).
I have a friend who never can seem to let a compliment stay a compliment. She’s gotta do some subtle twist of the knife, just to get a little dig in. Not a big twist of the knife—nothing too mean, nothing too negative. Just a teeny little thing. Can’t just leave a positive comment lying there, without spoiling it somehow.
There are so many examples of this, but one that I remember was “You could be really pretty, if it weren’t for your skin.” (Granted, I have some acne scarring, but I’m not Noriega.) Okay, well that’s probably one of her less subtle digs, but it’s one that stands out.
When I made a triumphant photo sale, this friend (who also is trying to sell her photos) had to make some very subtle dig about my online photo prints and T-shirts store. “My, your prices are kind of high.” (The prices aren’t high. They are standard for most t-shirts I see online—under $20.) It’s just one of those things that doesn’t sound all that bad when you relate it to someone else, but knowing the person, you know how they tick and you can damned betcha it was just another one of their little digs.
The thing I got from Orker’s comments were that because Orker wasn’t getting anywhere with freelancing, that somehow this is relevant to the OP. It’s not. Like Interrobang!? mused, maybe Orker’s work isn’t very good. That could account for Orker not getting anywhere with freelancing. So why did Orker even bring it up, since what Orker does (freelance illustration) and Interrobang!? does (copyediting) aren’t the same thing? It’s not a huge deal by any means, but I can see how it can be annoying, depending on how the message is delivered.
At the risk of sounding like someone’s mom, I suspect cow orker was just envious because you had the guts to go for it and he didn’t. Some people can’t handle risk and just keep on plodding along. Like me, for example!
I agree with Tenar. He wasn’t so much accusing you of being stupid as he was (whether he admitted it or not) admitting he didn’t have your stones. A little envy, not snark.
In other news. Nimrod was a mighty hunter who founded Babel – Bugs’ reference to Elmer Fudd as a “poor little Nimrod” was intended to belittle Elmer by the comparison, not to imply that Nimrod was himself lacking in some way. I believe that if the circumstances were investigated, earlier references to “Nimrod” as a bad thing would be seen to have been similar in nature
Yep. According to this site, “Nimrod” as a perjorative predated that particular cartoon - but I’m sure the intended irony was identical. (yay, alliteration!)
</hijack, sorry about that>
Wow. I honestly didn’t start this thread looking for good wishes on my job search, but thanks to everyone who’s given them to me.
As for Orker, envy could certainly be most of what he was (poorly) veiling. (And, from what I gather, I’m in a position where I can gamble a bit with my life plan and he’s really not, so some envy is understandable.) Between that and his underdeveloped social graces, he probably meant well but expressed it poorly. Poor trapped Orker!
This is why I don’t do well with Pit rants. I always end up empathizing with whomever torqued me in the first place.
Interrobang, since you are a copywriter and Orker is an artist, can I assume you are in an agency type situation? If so, could Orker be fishing to ‘follow along’ with you and get more freelance work for himself? I ask because as a designer myself, whenever I move on from a position or assignment I am always interrogated by others about every detail. It slowly dawned on me that their interest was solely in finding out what they might use for their own career advancement since the inevitable next question was always, “Do they need anyone else?”
