What … the … fuck?
I change my match.com profile to reflect my future address in Cleveland. A couple of hours later, I get an e-mail from a relatively intelligent, fairly attractive woman. A couple of nice, uneventful e-mails bounced back and forth.
Last e-mail I sent, I mentioned that my father was here in Kansas City, to help me and the dogs with the move. She responded:
I’m renting a three bedroom house, but that’s besides the point. I mention my dogs, and I get flamed? WTF? So I wrote back:
First off, my dogs don’t have doggie odor, and they don’t shed. Although I hardly ever sniffle or sneeze around dogs, several tests show that I’m allergic to them. I plunked down serious dough for the privilege of adopting two Portuguese Water Dogs, a rare breed known for being hypoallergenic, non-shedding, and non-stinky. (Well, except when Guinness poots out his daily fart.)
Secondly, all of this could have been avoided if she READ MY GOD DAMN PROFILE, especially the part where I say:
You should like pooches; two very intelligent, friendly Portuguese Water Dogs form my pack.
Thirdly, the last two points are really moot, because anyone that would get hostile just because I mention my doggies, which they should have known about … well, they should probably seek some counseling. What would make a woman react like this at the mention of dogs?