Nice bonehead move, teach!

So my 14 year old son’s teacher assigns each student an “unusual” word. They are to go on-line to research its etiology, and write up some kind of a poster. In her infinite wisdom, the word she assigns my son is boning.

Of course you are like me, and you immediately thought of boning up for a test, right? Yeah. Right!

My son is really sharp in many areas and has a huge vocabulary, but alternative slang definitions for boning apparently fall into one of his gaps. So he trots off to the school library to perform his assigned research. Wonder of wonders, the school system won’t let him search for boning.

My kid isn’t the most computer savvy kid, so he can’t figure out what he is doing wrong. So he calls the librarian over to find out what he’s doing wrong. Apparently her reaction was somewhat different from what he expected, as he was threatened with a detention for using school equipment to research sex-related themes. My son wasn’t clear exactly why the librarian was getting mad at him. And by then, the class period had ended.

So he comes home, and again attacks the computer, and is defeated by our parental controls. At this point, the lovely Ms. D steps in and asks what is causing the difficulty. Things get sorted out such that by the time I get home, I am greeted with a large orange poster with the work BONING in bold across the top.

I guess I need to add some more vocabulary to our nightly dinner table discussions.

Note: this is the same teacher who called kids in her class dorks, and didn’t know why that caused such hilarity, until my son informed her that that term could be interpreted as slang for penis.

Isn’t it awfully nice to have a dork?

Dork: the other white meat.

You know, I really don’t know what to say about this. Sheesh. Wish I had more teachers like that in school.

Maybe he should do his end of semester thesis on boning and dorks? With pictures, even.

Dinsdale, this just seems so right a situation for a child of yours.

I boning your dork.

When I was teaching I once tried to tell my class (of high school girls) that I liked some pencils I had that were not painted. However, when I said I liked the “woody” ones, the class erupted into laughter. I did not know that a “woody” was slang for an erection.

I would, however, have known better than to give out the word “boning” as a vacabulary word.

In 7th grade Science class (c. 1974) we wwere watching (IIRC) that old Frank Capra film about the sun, in which someone used the phrase, “sometimes Mother Nature pulls a boner.”
The Teacher had no idea why we were falling out of our chairs laughing, until one guy explained it to him.

Well I just learned something today. I never knew dorks could be used for pecker. I will have to think of some good ways to use dork now.

Here’s a way to use “dork”.

I boned a dork.

The dork pulled a boner.

It was another dork’s boner.

Maybe Dinsdale JR.'s report on boning and dorks, complete with pictures will help.

Yeah. A scintillating dinner conversation was had by all, trying to divine the derivations of boner, boning, and how the terms could be used. Talking about penile bones and such. Good clean fun.

Somehow I don’t remember such conversations with my p’s. Must just be lost in the fog of time.

And thanks, everyone, for realizing that I meant etymology.

I’m surprised that your kid wasn’t expelled or suspended. It seems there is a story of school injustice in the media every day. The librarian’s response may have repercussions- I would contact the school and talk to someone before you get a notification. If the teacher bails on him by saying “I didn’t assign him that word!” you may have more problems.

This reminded me of my old roommate, who had a mix tape labeled “Boning jazz.” You figure it out.