Not only is it sparklingly interesting and informative, telling us things we weren’t even aware we desperately needed to know, you also managed to get somebody else to write the whole article for you. Seems to me if you can make that a regular habit, that’ll free up your days to focus full-time on the still-unresolved question of piss shiver.
After reading about turtles breathing through their butts and sea cucumbers using their innards as a means of self-defense, I have only one comment:
COOOOL!!!
Of course, this Tom Sawyer scam is merely another indication of Cecil’s resourcefulness.
I’m waiting on my cut of the royalties [sub]and I ain’t holding my breath neither[/sub]. At least he promoted me from Straight Dope Curator of Birds to Curator of Critters. It looks better on my CV.
[sub]And thanks for the compliments on the article[/sub]
SD Staff George
Straight Dope Curator of Critters
Well done, Colibri (aka George).
But don’t get too big a head and go passing yourself off as Cecil, or you might find the next column to be less than friendly.
It’s not possible to mistake us. I wear a pith helmet rather than a mortarboard. Also, unlike Cecil, I’ve never been able to figure out the words to “Louie, Louie.”
A what helmet?
Pith! Pith!
<Madeline Kahn> Pith yourthelf.
(Seriously, nice job on the column. Like I said, it was information I had no idea I desperately needed to know, but now I couldn’t possibly live without.)
Cecil, dearest, who cares about that breathing thing?? The real question was posed by Ogden Nash:
A turtle lives twist plated decks
Which practically conceal its sex
I think it’s clever of the turtle
In such a fix to be so fertile.
Now then…turtles…sex…explanation???
Personally, I think they should hire George to replace Cecil. He could do at least as good a job.
Which pays better, bugologist or know-it-all columnist?
‘Tain’t about what pays better, dtilque, it’s about who gets the chicks. Da wimmins don’t like folk who disect things for a livin’.
And I used to think my ex-wife’s farting in bed was bad.
Jeez, you cut the best part of that paragraph-the very next sentence:
:eek:
It just sounds like something from a really cheesy horror movie. ‘But then, to his horror and disgust, the sticky entrails of the disemboweled sea cucumber began to crawl towards him.’
SCSimmons said:
The only comparison I have with my ex-wife for that would involve her menstral emissions, and some memories are best repressed.
Since turtles breathe through their butts do they smell like sh…poop when they exhale through their mouth?
And can this explain my bosses perpetual bad breath?
d
Even more fascinating information is available about the function of these ‘cloacal bursae’ found in the arse of the turtle…
A recent review paper (Peterson and Greenshields, 2001) discusses all of the purported functions of these butt-chambers. They apparently differ in different types of turtles butt (excuse the pun) do much more than just serve a respiratory function…
In aquatic emydid, batagurid, and chelydrid turtles, their primary function is probably as ballast tanks for buoyancy control. Cryptodiran turtles may actually use them to transfer water to nesting sites (that’s not a drinking fountain that I would want to sip from), and there have been various unsubstantiated claims that cloacal bursae are actually used for the uptake of water and for maintainance of ion concentrations.
Point is, there are whole worlds out there to explore if one only has the energy and motivation.
Funny thing is, I had sea cucumber for diner (and other stuff).
There are things that are better left unknown.
There is a tale reaching urban legend status that circulates among fisheries and marine biologists about one of the large self-eviscerating varieties of sea cucumber that was presented as a large jello mold at the retirement party of one or another prominent biologist. The story goes that the critter was placed on a plate and disguised around the tell-tale ends with lettuce or some other garnish. When the roastee pokes in his fork, cablooee! Time for a new wardrobe. I have a bit of trouble swallowing the story because I have heard it with more than one victim (although I guess it is possible there was more than one sea cucumber) and because it would be a risky proposition for the practical jokers to handle the critters, especially out of the water, without having the bomb go off in their hands. The story may have merit, becase there are some sea cucumbers that do resemble a big jello mold.
Fishhead