Nick at Nite Sucks

The BBQ Pit
1

And T.V. Land is even worse.

It’s still too early for a truly brutal rant here, but I can’t take it anymore. This weekend has finally sent me over the edge.

What the Fuck has happened over there?

A while back, and I’m talking way back, I really enjoyed sitting down at the end of a night and watching some truly classic, funny shows. I admired ‘Nick’ for going outside the norm and re-airing what a true sitcom should be- Funny!

No more.

What was once a great line-up with the likes of ‘Mary Tyler Moore’, ‘Bob Newhart’, ‘Dick Van Dyke’, and others, has now been replaced by 'The Beverly Hillbilies, ‘The Facts of Life’, and ‘Green Acres’.

What the flying FUCK?

Granted, these new offerings are classics, but they’re about as funny as a migraine. And, I’d venture to say that these shows were never that funny to begin with.

Add to that their fucked scheduling that changes from day to day, and I’m about to yank the cable out of the back of my tube.

It’s like tuning into a mystery grab bag of shit T.V., one night at seven it’s the ‘Fact’s of Life’ and the next it’s, ‘The Jeffersons’.

Hello? Consistency? Even the evil networks don’t change schedules as fast as Nick At Nite does.

But the last few weeks has finally pushed me over the edge. Not only does their inconsistant scheduling leave Joe T.V. viewer guessing what will be on next, but they’ve now upted the ante by now playing days upon days of same program hour after fucking hour.

And it’s spreading. T.V. Land (Sister to Nick), which sucked to begin with, has decided to jerk the viewer around even more! A whole fucking weekend of ‘Sanford and Son’? What next? A week-long tribute to ‘Pettycoat Junction?’

I can’t handle it. Why are people insistant on taking a good thing and fucking it so sideways that it couldn’t resemble the original if it tried?

I actually feel better now. So, I now turn it over to the minions to add to the rant.

2

“The Facts of Life”!!! Ohhh, my aching balls!!! What’s next, “Webster” and “AfterMASH”?? And I agree with you about TV Land. I was watching an episode of “The A-Team” the other day and I can’t believe I used to love that show as a kid. Anyway… “The Facts of Life” … I mean, Jesus Christ!

3

You pay money for TV? WOW!

< this kid does not have cable and refuses to pay $30+ a month for mindless dribble that should be reserved for playing outside a prison camp >

4

Hey, I pay for cable. I need Atlanta Braves baseball, Fox Sports west, and the ESPn double-header! And of course, A&E!

CnoteChris, just pop in your ‘Simpsons’ tape into the ole vcr at the end of the day. Always funny.

5

**techchick68

** You pay money for TV? WOW!

**< this kid does not have cable and refuses to pay $30+ a month for mindless dribble that should be reserved for playing outside a prison camp

Agree, agree, agree!!!

6

Actually, I don’t pay for cable.

I worked out a deal. The guy who came out to hook me up got 60 bucks in his pocket and I don’t have to worry about a bill.

Ya, ya. Unethical, illegal, blah blah blah. But Nick at Nite still sucks.

7

I checked out all the cable options a while back and decided that I could continue to live without it. If I could get only the channels I want to see, that would another thing. But the different packages (and payments) contain more garbage than I care to surf through for the price.

It would be nice to have for the Olyimpics, though. Might find a channel that actually shows the events.

$60 is a good deal, alright. But (chuckle) then again, you don’t hear me bitching about Nick. Green Acres! Reachin’ for it, aren’t they?

8

Here’s the REAL tragedy: they removed Bewitched to show the Facts of Life. BLEH.

9

Don’t they rotate them around?
They do still show Lucy, I know that.

I remember when it used to be The Patty Duke Show, Old Saturday Night Live with the original Not Ready For Primetime Players, etc.

UGH!!!

10

Cnote,

#1. If you have cable illegally then quit yer bitchin.

#2. They do have people that drive around neighborhoods looking for signals that come from illegally tapped cable. I know this because a friend of mine worked for Time Warner’s cable installation company here in town. So good luck. I think the fines in our state are $500 for illegal cable.

Oh and I do wish I had cable for ESPN, FOX Sports and the Discovery channel. Other than that I can’t justify spending money for TV – I have enough channels as it is now. Maybe some day I will spring for it again.

11
  1. I pay for my cable, so I have a right to bitch.
  2. Yes, Nick at Nite now sucks the giant 18 foot dick of a rotting whale corpse. OMG. I have been home a lot the last few weeks because of a herniated disk, and I was too doped up on painkillers to read much, so I was flipping channels a lot. Every day I would flip past (as fast as I could) the horrible “Facts of Life.” I didn’t even know this was on Nick because, like the OP, I thought they still showed good old shows, like Dick Van Dyke, Bob Newhart, Mary Tyler Moore, etc. “The Facts of Life” is, in my book, one of the most reviled shows of all time. It isn’t even bad enough to be mildly.
12

whoops.

Preview is my friend.

That should read “to be mildly amusing.”

13

My mom rants about this every time she calls me.

This summer they ran “block party summer,” which wasn’t so bad except for Fridays when they would show some crap like
“The Wonder Years.”

But now they’re showing nothing but crap. No “I Love Lucy,” no “Andy Griffith,” just crap like “The Facts of Life.”

14

If I didn’t pay for cable, I wouldn’t get the SciFi, Comedy, History, Animal, Learning, and Discovery channels! THE HORROR!!!

Anyway, I think Nick and Night was at its best when it was showing stuff like The Patty Duke Show… Their infatuation with the cringingly awful Lucy makes me shriek in horror when I wander past the channel… the current lineup sounds horrible.

15

Thanks for the concern Tech, but I’m not too worried. I know, I know, it’s wrong, but if that’s the worst thing I do in my lifetime, then I’ll feel good.
To the other’s, I agree with your sentiments and general comments, with one minor objection.

I have never, or will I ever, find ‘I Love Lucy’ to be even remotely funny. The set-up’s are painfully obvious and predictable, and the pay-off’s often come at the expense of past stereotypes and predujices that would be better off left in the past where they belong. It simply isn’t funny anymore.

A bit PC on my part, I know, but that show really pisses me off.

So, enough with my side rant, back to Nick at Nite sucking big long donkey dicks!!

16

Can I safely assume that I’m the only person on this board who likes Facts of Life? Oh sure, not the same caliber as the Dick Van Dyke show, but many a happy childhood memory tied to this show.

17

I think so, yes.

18

I liked FOL…probably because I grew up on it.
I also loved The Wonder Years. Now THAT is a good show. A DAMN good show.

But I want the old SNL and Patty Duke back!

19

Put me down as one who like “The Facts of Life”. They’re going to be having “Three’s Company” on soon, too.

Ohyeah-also put me down as one who HATES “I Love Lucy”! Bleah! P-tooey!

20

Excuse me, but do you folks realize that those shows are really old and most of them sucked twenty-five to fifty years ago? You not only waste your money PAYING FOR THEM, but also waste your time WATCHING THEM! And they have more commercials than ever, even though you are paying to watch them!

Don’t the sacrifices of people like me who doped ourselves silly to be able to sit through them when they were first broadcast so the next generation wouldn’t have to mean anything to you?!?!? We did our part to pay for Kim Fields’ education, whether she got one or not. We bought Max Baer, Jr. his first Cadillac. We bought Arnold Ziffle a short reprieve from the slaughterhouse. We bought Patty Duke a few hours a day away from her parents. The war was fought! Don’t let them invade again!*