[QUOTE=coffeecat]
Asian Dating comes right out and says, “The primary goal of Asian Dating is to help Asians find other Asians to date. We know how many Asian parents are very particular about who their kids date and eventually marry.” Maybe there’s a more obvious way of saying, “We discriminate on the basis of race” without saying just that on a big neon sign, but I don’t know what it is.
[/QUOTE]
Does the site say anywhere on it that they don’t allow non-Asians to participate? Because that would be a clearer way of saying it.
[QUOTE=coffeecat] Black rabbit, I publicly supported gay rights in the early '80s, before it was stylish, but I don’t think gay people languishing without love because they can’t find any dating sites that accept them is a major social problem.
[/QUOTE]
Plus eHarmony hardly has a monopoly on the internet dating service. If it did, I might sympathize with Ms. Carlson.
[QUOTE=Cheesesteak]
If eHarmony wanted to advertise as a way for devout Christians to get together, I’d have no problem with them excluding anyone that doesn’t meet that criteria. However, they don’t advertise that way, they pretend to be for everyone, then claim there are “no matches” if you’re not their type of person.
[/QUOTE]
Just a WAG here, but perhaps eH matching system is biblically based, if so I don’t think there can be any way of matching people of the same gender.
[QUOTE=kanicbird]
Just a WAG here, but perhaps eH matching system is biblically based, if so I don’t think there can be any way of matching people of the same gender.
[/QUOTE]
What particular chapter and verse do you think they used to create this Biblically based matching algorithm? I am unfamiliar with dating advice in the Bible.
[QUOTE=Miller]
On the other hand, it would be so ridiculously easy for eHarmony to accomodate homosexuals,…
[/QUOTE]
Not according to eHarmony. They claim to have all these “scientific” methods of finding compatible couples, and their their research is not applicable to matching homosexuals. They claim to be much more than another site that hosts personal ads.
[QUOTE=Boyo Jim]
They claim to have all these “scientific” methods of finding compatible couples, and their their research is not applicable to matching homosexuals.
[/QUOTE]
What amazing bullshit. Fucking scammers.
[QUOTE=Turek]
eHarmony feels they have a level of expertise. To them, their expertise is matching heterosexual couples. They feel they DON’T have expertise matching homosexual couples. Why should they be forced to alter their business into a realm they don’t feel they are experts in?
[/QUOTE]
Many gay people feel insulted by the implication that love between people of the same sex is different from love between opposite-sex couples.
Found my wife on eHarmony, hooked me up with a woman who watches Battlestar Galactica and Doctor Who, doesn’t care for seafood, and in the education profession, so those algorithms sure as hell count for something…
The commercials are still stupid, though. Kinda like the lawsuit.
Reminds me of the one a year ago where the guy tried to sue because they wouldn’t let married people in…
[QUOTE=Priceguy]
What particular chapter and verse do you think they used to create this Biblically based matching algorithm? I am unfamiliar with dating advice in the Bible.
[/QUOTE]
Thou shalt never mix people of the cat and clans of the dog in matramony.
I tried them and they just matched me up with shy women who wouldn’t share their photos after a couple of e-mails.
[QUOTE=Priceguy]
What particular chapter and verse do you think they used to create this Biblically based matching algorithm? I am unfamiliar with dating advice in the Bible.
[/QUOTE]
Besides not marrying outside one’s faith (which is in the OT and NT), I would say to follow the examples of blesses marriages listed in the Bible, matching according to the traits of the people in the union.
Again it’s just a WAG, I don’t know what they use.
[QUOTE=Turek]
eHarmony feels they have a level of expertise. To them, their expertise is matching heterosexual couples. They feel they DON’T have expertise matching homosexual couples. Why should they be forced to alter their business into a realm they don’t feel they are experts in?
[/quote]
That’s a reasonable claim… if you can show that matching gay couples is significantly different from matching straight couples. So, what specifically is different about gay dating that makes it entirely incompatible with the methods eHarmony uses to set up straight people on dates?
And gay people have exactly the same right to marriage that straight people do, so long as they’re getting married to someone of the opposite gender. If that argument doesn’t fly in gay marriage debates, why should it fly in this one?
[QUOTE=kung fu lola]
Many gay people feel insulted by the implication that love between people of the same sex is different from love between opposite-sex couples.
[/QUOTE]
Maybe it is. Is it really all that beyond belief that gay couples have different relationship dynamics than straight couples, especially in a society where the two types of relationships are still treated quite differently by society at large? Men and women are NOT the same; it doesn’t strike me as being outrageous to think that romance between men and women, men and men, and women and women might all have very different dynamics. That doesn’t make the love in those relationships any less valuable, but it can affect issues of compatibility, can’t it?
Of course, it’s also possible they don’t, but eHarmony feels they do, and unless you have objective evidence to the contrary, how do you know they’re wrong?
As to those folks babbling about how maybe their “algorithms” are “Biblically based,” no, they’re not. eHarmony long postdates my own experiences, but we ran Mrs. RickJay’s best friend through the questionnaire. (She ended up not having to use it through the expedient of stealing a co-worker away from his common-law wife.) It’s pretty obviously a relationshipized version of a Birkman-style personality test; sort of Myers-Briggs on 'roids. How “Scientific” that makes it is open to debate, but the only couple I know who ended up together through it are perfectly matched to an almost amazing degree. And incidentally, one’s an atheist and the other’s a Lutheran or a Presbyterian or some other boring Protestant non-nuts denomination.
[QUOTE=Miller]
That’s a reasonable claim… if you can show that matching gay couples is significantly different from matching straight couples. So, what specifically is different about gay dating that makes it entirely incompatible with the methods eHarmony uses to set up straight people on dates?
[/QUOTE]
I’m not saying it’s different. I have no idea if it’s different or not. I’m not the “relationship expert” they claim to be.
There is a difference in that eHarmony is private company selling a product, not a government acting as a law-making, law-enforcing body. They’re not saying gay people shouldn’t date. They’re not saying gay people shouldn’t get married. All they’re saying is that they sell a product/service, the service they sell is matching heterosexual couples, and that matching homosexual couples is different enough that they don’t have expertise in that field.
Believe me, I’m all for gay rights. But this is a MARKET problem, not a gay rights problem.
[QUOTE=RickJay]
Maybe it is. Is it really all that beyond belief that gay couples have different relationship dynamics than straight couples, especially in a society where the two types of relationships are still treated quite differently by society at large? Men and women are NOT the same; it doesn’t strike me as being outrageous to think that romance between men and women, men and men, and women and women might all have very different dynamics. That doesn’t make the love in those relationships any less valuable, but it can affect issues of compatibility, can’t it?
Of course, it’s also possible they don’t, but eHarmony feels they do, and unless you have objective evidence to the contrary, how do you know they’re wrong?
[/quote]
I have personal, anecdotal evidence to the contrary. Where’s eHarmony’s objective evidence that homosexual relationships are so fundamentally different that their matching program can’t possibly work for gays as well as it works for straights? What are the specific factors that make one type of relationship different than the other? And how do other dating cites handle this difference? OKCupid does gay and straight matching. Do they have two seperate sets of algorithms for each type of relationship?
eHarmony is the one who has made the claim: they’re the ones who need to provide the evidence.
Okay, sure. But how does that make that argument valid in this case, and invalid when arguing marriage laws?
Like I said, I’m not offended that eHarmony won’t fix me up with guys. But there’s not some handy cut-off where rights issues stop and market issues begin. A lot of equal rights legislation is about regulating the market to prevent social inequity. I can’t setup my own lunch counter and say, “My market is making food for white people. I’m not good at making food for black people, so I just don’t serve them.” Personally, I think this sort of protection should be expanded to cover gays, as well. The state of California, God bless 'em, agrees with me on this. But that lands us in this here particular pickle: eHarmony appears to be in violation of the law. In general, I think it’s a damned good law, and one that should be enforced. So what do we do with eHarmony, in this case? Is there a way to interpret the law that lets them off the hook? Is it important enough to allow eHarmony to continue buisness as usual that we should ammend the law? If we’re going to ammend it, is there a danger of the ammendment allowing a form of discrimination in business that we don’t want to allow?
[QUOTE=Miller]
Where’s eHarmony’s objective evidence that homosexual relationships are so fundamentally different that their matching program can’t possibly work for gays as well as it works for straights?
[/QUOTE]
Would it be enough just for eHarmony to say that we don’t know if homosexual relationships are different enough then heterosexual relationships? Why would they need evidence at all?
[QUOTE=RickJay]
As to those folks babbling about how maybe their “algorithms” are “Biblically based,” no, they’re not.
[/QUOTE]
I brought that up as a what if? But your example does not prove they are not biblically based.
[QUOTE=Miller]
I have personal, anecdotal evidence to the contrary. Where’s eHarmony’s objective evidence that homosexual relationships are so fundamentally different that their matching program can’t possibly work for gays as well as it works for straights?
[/QUOTE]
I don’t know, I don’t work for them. I’m not pretending to be a subject matter expert, and it’s not my business what someone else feels they’re good or bad at doing. I don’t propose to tell you what your areas of expertise are, nor do I propose to tell eHarmony what theirs are.
Anecdotal evidence doesn’t convince me of anything.
Are you seriously questioning that some relationships are different from others?
Perhaps they do. Perhaps they prefer more generic ways of matching people up. That’s their call. If they’re a better dating site they’ll get more business.
Do you mean in court, or to you? I certainly don’t care if they show me the evidence or not. But I suppose they’ll show the courts the evidence and that matter will be decided there.
Having said that, how does someone prove they’re not good at something?