Are those the bullshit games that lying scammers are using or the people being “stingy” with their own money ? I am confused here.
Again, I’ve given money away here and there knowing damn well it was going for a smoke or a beer or maybe even a drug fix. But don’t outright lie to me.
I imagine the very large majority of people who don’t give folks money to these scammers feel any sense of accomplishment in saying no. Saying no is harder than buying off your guilty concious because you happen to have a better life. But saying no is often based on some moral principle, not a “your not getting any of MY money” mentallity.
I didn’t know he wanted 2 dollars for a bottle. He asked for chili, and I said I’d get him some, and he didn’t say, “oh, you can just give me the money”. He said, “Really? Thanks!” or something.
We vacation in St Martin each year. A few years back I was approached by a panhandler. I was a little drunk, and very happy. He was asking for a coupla dollars, because (he said) the ATM was down. I gave him $20, and he was so happy that he admitted to not having an ATM card (duh) and suggested I take back $15. I told him to keep it.
Well, the guy stopped traffic so I could pull out of the restaurant parking lot. Then, every time we would see him he would come over and ask how our vacation was going. He would answer local questions (where can we buy a hairdryer?) and would always stop traffic for us. He would accept no more cash, either.
Since then, we look him up every year. I palm him a twenty, and he sorta looks after us a bit.
Sure thing. He hangs out by the Brazilian Steakhouse called Rancho, in Simpsons Bay. We eat there once each time we are in St Martin, just to hear the band that plays.
Well, then he can just say “Look, my life sucks and I’d like some cash for a cheap bottle of wine to take the edge off” and more people are going to say “Fair enough. Here’s some money.”
But trying to maintain the charade that it’s for some “worthy” purpose is mildly insulting- I think it says to the askee “I think you’re stupid and I’m going to lie to you to get things and it will work because you’re stupid”, which makes people go on the defensive straight off the bat.
I think I already said that. The last guy that just said “I need some money for a beer” I gave him more bucks than he asked for. The last guy that told me an obviously cock and bull story I told to go take a hike.
I don’t grill people when they ask for handouts. Its usually either yes or no. But i you tell me a big song and dance I apt to just say no. Maybe you’re telling the truth but how am I to know? Sure, I’m better off than a homeless person but that doesn’t mean I have money to burn.
No one has ever said to me “I am hungry. Can you please give me money so I can eat?”. So maybe my experiences are different. Usually its “Hey, I need a few bucks for (add completely unbelievable reason).”
I used to give people a bit of coin just to get them to leave me alone. But then I saw a pattern. Some beggars depend on that. I had a guy follow me for a block in Amsterdam begging. He only relented for a minute when a policeman passed us, but once the cop was gone he was right on my heels. I had to threaten him with violence to get him to leave me alone. (Which I regret, but seriously, this guy would not leave me alone).
A portion of my salary automatically goes to various charities (that I get to choose), some of which help the homeless. I won’t be bullied or lied to on the streets however. I’m willing to help people in need but experience has made me wary of taking the word of beggars on the street.
Well, I guess to me “I need money for food” isn’t that different from “I need food.” I still think that offering food is an appropriate response. That said, I rarely even respond to panhandlers. There are plenty of perfectly good food banks and other charities in this city, some of which I donate to annually, and I usually don’t have the time or the spare cash to give something to a panhandler.
Panhandlers around here almost invariably need the money for food. There are lots of guys who hang around by highway off-ramps with signs that say “hungry, homeless, gimme cash” or words to that effect.