When I was in Ocala, Florida this past weekend, I was approached at the gas pump by a young man with a sob story about having his grandmother and his son in the “silver SUV over there” and he needed a couple of gallons of gas to get to Gainesville to see his other son. He insisted he wasn’t asking for money, but for some gas. When I declined, I heard him give the same story to at least 2 others filling their cars.
First thing that came to mind was “SCAM” - his sob story, his demeanor, the very expensive phone in his hand - was I really to believe that between him and his grandmother they didn’t have $5 to put a couple of gallons of gas into his SUV? Maybe if he was driving an old piece of crap an looked less well-fed and well-dressed, I might have been more inclined to believe that he was a traveler in distress. Maybe I completely misjudged him. But I don’t think so.
In any event, I carry very little cash and I was on a rather expensive trip to help out my own family, so every time I stopped for gas, it was a few more dollars than I’d budgeted for. I’m pretty trusting and gullible most of the time, but there’s something about being approached at a gas station…
Was I a cold-hearted bitch or a sensible, cautious traveler wary of strangers? Have you had to deal with similar scenarios?
I’ll say cautious and sensible. I have heard that schtick so many time. Apparently it has replaced the old “I need money for the bus to Clearwater”. I don’t want to be coldhearted and I often give change to people but most definitely not to the ones with an elaborate, phony story.
You were fine to do that, you were sensible. It’s not easy figuring out who is genuine, and who is a scammer.
I often think they are scams for drug or booze money. A few weeks back a guy was standing by his run down van with a cardboard sign, Need Gas. I don’t carry much cash but I swiped my card and pumped a few gallons in, about $25 worth.
Yes, it is very likely a scam. At the same time, I’m a religious person and we’re taught that it’s our duty to give and then it’s their problem if they misuse it. Of course, as in all things, there is moderation, it’s not reasonable to donate yourself into penury. And if given the choice between a ‘good charity’ and a ‘bad charity’ there’s certainly no harm in choosing wisely. The real meaning of the teaching is that it’s ok to give someone the benefit of the doubt and it’s even OK if you get ripped off from time to time if your heart is in the right place.
You don’t owe anything to beggars, especially ones that won’t take “no” for an answer and/or are obviously full of shit.
I deal with this all the time. I’m not unsympathetic but I will not tolerate being harassed.
First, I offer whatever change I have in my pocket, if any. If I don’t have any or if they persist after I’ve given them my change, I politely but firmly tell them “No.” If they won’t accept that, then I’m afraid I have to get nasty. I’ve told more than a few very insistent beggars that “The only thing I’m giving away for free today is a knife to the face, so if you don’t want one of those, GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FACE.”
I would have had him pull his SUV over to the pump I was at, and would have put a couple of gallons into his car. I fail to see the scam here unless, he wasn’t amenable to that.
Many people that are on the edge of destitute of poverty own SUV’s and have smart phones. They have misplaced priorities, which is partly why they are on the edge of being destitute.
I’m not sure it was a “scam” exactly. That is, I don’t think he was lying about what the money was going to be used for. It sounds like he really did want you to put some gas in his tank, so it’s not like he’s going to take your cash and split. But the money he saved on gas means he doesn’t have to take cash out of his pocket to buy gas. But he also might not have much cash anyway. Anything he can save on gas is something he can spend on some other expenses. For a lot of people who live paycheck-to-paycheck on the edge of homelessness, each dollar they save can mean a lot. So maybe the money he saved by having strangers pay for his gas means he can pay his rent that month.
This is in contrast to many of the panhandlers who hold up a sign at an offramp saying they need gas money. I’m pretty sure that’s a lie (do they even have a car?), but they are likewise trying to raise money to pay for whatever daily expenses they have. I would qualify that as a scam since they are lying about what the money will be used for.
Chalk me up in the “not sure how this is a scam” camp.
If he was asking for gas, then I’d have walked to the pump, swiped my card, and put a few gallons in there. At the very least, they were being disingenuous as to the need, but it’s not like they could’ve used that gas to buy drugs or alcohol or anything.
Also, IMHO that’d be an overly elaborate con, involving an old woman and a child, all for $6 worth of gas. Not saying that you should’ve fueled him up, but I don’t think you missed being the mark of an elaborate ruse.
That being said, I’ve walked by beggars in front of a 7-11 who’ve asked me for money so they can buy food. More than once, when I came out with a sandwich in hand for them, they’ve thrown it back at me. Apparently, the “food” they wanted could be found in a long aluminum can.
So, yeah, I don’t really give money to beggars anymore.
A couple of bucks for gas is a small price to pay for a good night’s sleep. Instead of, like the OP, lying awake at night wondering if you did the right thing.
Panhandling is a job, with poor working conditions and even worse pay, but it is more honest and respectable than working at Rent-a-Center or a pay-day loan office, or working the phones in a scam robocall office, or selling used cars you know are defective, or a million other legal ripoffs hiding bedhind decedptive disclosures…
I’ve been approached several times at the gas pump. First time, I handed over a few dollars which would have been enough for the man to get home (if his story was correct.) Second time, the store clerk came out as I was about to hand over some money and stated that the man had been there for a couple hours and was told to leave several times. Skip a few times to the last instance where I told the man who needed gas and groceries for his family that I believed he would take the money to buy beer/cigarettes. After assurances, I ended up giving him a $20 and he promptly went into the store and bought cigarettes (saw that through the window.)
I know that many threads have discussed the topic of giving money to panhandlers and whether it was helpful or just enabling the purchase of alcohol or drugs with, IIRC. I’ve always held the opinion that any money given to a charity will have a certain percentage of fraud associated with it through internal or external theft, fraud or whatever. My intention is to support the charities that offer the lowest possibility of abuse. As an example, our local food bank no doubt distributes items to people without real need. They are, however, in a much better position than I am to understand how to best distribute charity.
When I am approached at gas stations or see panhandlers at intersections, I know that some may truly be in need but the potential for fraud is higher than my personal acceptable levels.
I’ve bought many a meal/drink/snack for a stranger and have never had it refused, let alone thrown back at me. As for giving money, I don’t usually give away my own money-I pass along all the money I have ever found in the couch and on the ground.
