I’m sorry you’re having such a hard time. I hope it gets better. I hope we both find the courage to say something. It feels strange to be 31 damn years old and be afraid of something.
I hope things get better for you too. Try being 44 and spending most of your time anywhere from anxious to panic. On second thought, don’t. There are very few people I would wish something like this on, and they’re creatures like pedophiles, serial killers, etc. I want better than this for anyone above that.
Well, thanks for listening.
There will be no point in your life where fear is off the table.
Been there too, and it was awful. We are past it now and in a much better place ( in multiple senses) but for a while it was very very hard.
My husband was having a very hard time at work, partly from some of his own actions, but in large part he was just being dealt a shit hand. He was desperately unhappy, angry, hyper-sensitive, and working too many hours. I could see from the outside what was going on and had some thoughts about how he could make things better, but he was too wound up to hear anything but criticism, no matter what I said or how I said it. He was unpleasant to be around, but when I removed myself (for my own sanity and to prevent stupid arguments) that was wrong too.
Eventually I did manage to find times that we could get out of the house together, have a quiet meal and a drive around, and I could tell him what I was seeing. It took a lot of tongue biting on my part, a bit of pre-planning, a few last minute aborts, and a little bit of hardening my heart too and causing more him pain to get though to him that we couldn’t go on this way.
The long and the short of it is that he now has a new job, we live in a new state, and we are both MUCH happier.
Each spouse has the right to express what they are feeling. Sometimes it does cause pain to the other person, but sitting on all that isn’t good either. Seanette & HungMung, I hope you both can find your way to peace again.
PS- Anxiety, fear, and panic are no better at 50 than they were at 20 or 30…
Knows that this is pretty minor considering everyone’s pain, but I think our 3 year old cat won’t be coming home from the vet. Cat’s aren’t people, cats aren’t kids, cats are just pets. I know this. It doesn’t matter, we love our big boy and this really sucks.
{{{flatlined}}}
My pets are as close to children as I have (well, unless I count DH), and I’ve done that final trip too many times myself. Losing a family member, even one with paws and fur, is NOT a minor pain, it’s a LOSS, and you have as much cause for grief as anyone else is dealing with in here right now.
Oh no! I’m so sorry. Our pets are so a part of our lives and their loss is very real.
Fingers crossed for a miracle.
Which one is this? I’ve followed your posts enough to know your kittehs by name…
Not pretty minor, either. Death is death, and it sucks all 'round for the remaining survivors no matter what the petty details are of things like species. I love my big boy, too, but he’s pushing 15-ish and his body is starting to do that thing old cats do where their torso seems to just fall down from their spine, and although his bloodwork came back OK I know he’s heading closer and closer towards that big warm soft cushion in the sky.
My condolences … It just never does get easier no matter what, does it?
My little bitchy time: part I of II yard sale today. Made some $ and got rid of stuff I can’t keep or don’t want. Yay. But it was tiring, physically and emotionally, and I was getting bitchy. My mom called me out on it - fairly so, I really was being a bitch - and I pointed out that all this was, ah, not fun for me. “Oh? I’m kind of having fun,” she says, forcing me to point out that bargaining, turning unwanted items into cash, etc. are all far far far far less fun when the items in question belonged to someone you’d give anything, anything, to have back.
Oh, and her asking when was the last time Shoe’s bike was used, right in front of his mother, so I had to say, “We’ll, ah, not since back when he had working legs,” was, to me, awkward. I called HER out on that later just to hear, “What, did she say something to you about that?” No, she did not, thats just not her style (unlike yours!!) but if she did overhear that, it couldn’t have been pleasant.
Off to bed. Part II yard sale tomorrow morning.
Thank you all for your good wishes. I was working today so I was unable to attend the therapy session. My husband told me it went poorly alas. Our daughter was far more interested in playing with the cool toys than interacting with the therapist. She’s going to work on some strategies to try and get her more involved in the session. In the meantime, they want us to find a developmental ped for more evaluation.
I admit I’m still very worried. Hubby did tell me she said a few more words to the therapist including two color words she’s never said before.
Aw, that sucks. Three is much too young to lose a kitty.
My cat is 14 - she’s gotten skinny, too, even though her bloodwork is also normal. She’s starting to get really fussy with her eating, too - today I’ll eat only chicken gooshy food! Now today I’ll only eat turkey in gravy! Now today I’ll only eat the gravy and leave all the meat! Little brat.
Hang in there, baby! I really wish your parents would be more supportive for you - well, you can’t get what you can’t get. We’ll be supportive for you here, anyway. 
No, it’s not minor. Cats might not be human, but they are family members, and losing them hurts. I hope your kitty pulls through without much pain.
They are being supportive, really. Just … in their own way. Which in my mother’s case means being pushy and overbearing because, in her mind, nobody does things as well as she does. Still, they helped tremendously during a hectic yard sale (holy shit, I had to do MATH in the wee hours of the morning a.k.a. Yard Sale Rush Hour) and will be back again in less than an hour :eek: to do it all again today. Credit where credit is due and all that.
Thankfully Al isn’t fussy about food, just pushy about mealtimes, which I take as a good sign. Hopefully once this move is over and he’s settled into our new home maybe his health will improve or at least stabilize. He’s not allowed outside right now, mostly b/c of the feral kittehs, so: Hey, Al! There will be a 2nd floor balcony, and you’ll be able to go sun yourself outside again! (Side note to SmallDumbCat: no launching your fat floofy ass off the balcony!)
No, cats are living things with their own thoughts, ideas, desires and pain. We Humans foolishly tell ourselves that we are alone, above mere animals, when the truth is we’re just smarter animals.
My condolences on your loss.
Maggie is in the hospital to be spayed today. Every time I go through this with a cat I’m terrified that something bad will happen and they won’t come home. When I held her at the hospital, she was shaking in fear. 
Well, that sounds like it may be a very small step in the right direction, then.
I wish you and your family the best of luck, LavenderBlue.
Two color words…
LavenderBlue…
My Gawd, she’s reading the dope! :eek:
Someone mentioned tea interacting with a medicine. I’ll mention my own close-call, though it was in late August or so:
My wife made me star gooseberry tea for a headache; a little later I took an isordil sublingual; later still I stood up. … Whoooo! Low blood pressure(!!!) I thought I was a goner. I lay down, wife asked if I wanted more star gooseberry tea which I hadn’t connected to the sensation. I said “Yes … wait, I’ll drink some water first.”
While drinking the water I recalled that the symptoms were similar to (but worse than) the time I had isordil (nitroglycerin) a few days after a small dose of sildenafil (Viagra). Using Google, I found some ambiguous comments about heart patients consulting physician before using remedies in the same Phyllanthus genus as star gooseberry …
Luckily I thought a bit before drinking more star gooseberry tea …
I recently watched the documentary “Blackfish” - there is no doubt in my mind that all kinds of animals have all kinds of internal lives going on. My cat is not as intelligent as a whale, but she’s her own being.
Aw, that sucks. I hate doing that to my cat, and I don’t like a vet who doesn’t take this into account for treatment for my cat - she hates going to the vet, and the fewer times I have to do that, the better. He wants her bloodwork to be perfect; I want it to be okay, and her not have to be traumatized by a vet visit too often.
Best wishes for you and little Maggie, for many long, happy years together.
Well, she came through it ok. I had her micro-chipped at the same time since they suggested it. Doctor just called and said I can pick her up after 3pm.
I’d get her some special food, but the damned cat is so spoiled rotten that she won’t eat anything but the best anyway. (Fancy Feast ‘Mornings’ souffle food)
On Friday I met with my boss at the R&D pilot plant at which I am currently working through a staffing agency. He told me that at the request of their client they wanted to “hire” me as a shift lead. My current shift lead had told me that the PM had asked him if he thought I should be “hired” as a lead so I had been anticipating this. I was psyched that I might finally have some more job stability until I asked how long the process would take. That’s when I found out that by “hire” he actually just meant that my job title and responsibilities would change but I would still be a temp. Yippee.