We have an analyst on our team who makes up words all the time. Once she sent out a nearly unintelligible memo, and had to retract it. But not before she apologized for the “confusement” she caused.
Drives me up a wall as well.
I was, of course, called out for this and told that “nucular” is a perfectly acceptable way to pronounce nuclear, because it is an unusual word. (Doesn’t appear in any other word.)
Right here on this board, no less.
I almost started a thread about this, but I think it fits here. With no comment I’ll reproduce a conversation in the cafeteria today:
Shade: … begging the question …
Friend: I think you mean, ‘raising the question’ not ‘begging the question.’
Shade: No, I think I mean ‘begging the question’
Friend: [Replays conversation in head] Sorry, force of habit.
Switching “affect” and “effect” is annoying. But what drives me batshit is that I have been grading student papers this week, and they keep using the word “bemused” incorrectly. It’s not as if you ever need to use that word in a plant biology paper dammit! It’s a word for snotty novelists!
AARGH! You keep using that word! I do not think it means what you think it means!
I’m glad to know “crapulent” is a word. Almost broke my heart to read that it wasn’t. 
Try “tailorize”.
Every other sentence emanating from one of my coworkers contained this word. Then a document wrote for public distribution had it in. I snapped in the end and told him that it didn’t exist.
There’s an expert witness for the other side I’ve deposed several times who has several advanced degrees, and practices in a fairly specialized area of medicine, who says “pacifically” when he means “specifically”. I am constitutionally incapable of not finding ways to make him say specifically on the record. I am an evil bastard.
I once went to an interior decorating party. The woman hosting it kept saying that a certain wall-hanging would be the “vocal point” of the room.
Like nails on a chalkboard…
What do you mean, ‘deposed’? I can’t tell what you mean. Rephrase, please.
I also hate it when people say/write “blah blah blah myself” using ‘myself’ as anything but a reflexive pronoun. I don’t think I’ve ever heard or seen it used correctly.
Yourself had better not come to Ireland then - that usage is like a plague here.
“Conversate” (instead of “converse”) is starting to drive me crazy because it seems to be catching on; I’ve heard it several times in the last few months, generally in news interviews.
I don’t really have a problem with “nuckular” for “nuclear.” It just seems like a regional pronunciation to me, and I know exactly what the user means when he says it.
taken the deposition of.
Take a deposition (statement) from?
“Thusly” annoys the tits off me. It’s “thus”.
I realise that it’s common in the US, but I’m mad, and I just can’t take it anymore.
This reminded me of a joke I heard a while back:
A young man from out in the country earned a full ride to Harvard. Upon reaching the campus, he became disorientated by the tall buildings and confusing grounds, so he asked a passing senior, “Can you tell me where the library’s at?” The senior responded, in a very haughty tone, “Here at Harvard, we don’t end sentences with prepositions.” The young man responded, “Oh, right, sorry. Can you tell me where the library’s at, asshole?”
Man, how times change…5 years ago, when I was job hunting, the HR director of one company called me back to give me a tip: She recommended that I leave out the fact that I stayed at one company for 9 years, because true professionals were expected to jump from job to job.
HA HA HA HA HA!
You can call me an asshole now, but seeing that word innocently show up in this thread is too funny.
I was once asked in an interview in Hong Kong during the economic miracle: “I see you stayed in this company for more than one year - why didn’t you get another one sooner?”
In a recent staff meeting, my boss announced that our institute was installing a sculpt in the courtyard. I was taking the meeting minutes and I just couldn’t go on after he said that. I wanted to run screaming from the building.
Ha! You got my joke! What a funny guy myself are.
Stupid myself. Myself even previewed
My office is receiving resumes for an office manager position at one of our dealerships. Check out this sentence:
Let me tell, you, if “completing a thought” is one of your bullet points, you are in Big Trouble! And how does he know it is the Shortest Time Possible? Did it take him significantly longer to Complete a Thought in the past?
Sheesh.