No sex please, I’m a vegan

[Ogre]

The biochemist/cell biologist in me is screaming in pure outrage right now.

[gigi]

@Vinyl Turnip

Finally I just let her sleep, warmed a chuck roast in my microwave, and had my way with it. Unfortunately my date awoke and walked in mid-act. We didn’t really see each other after that.

You know, pastrami is the most sensual of all the salted cured meats.
So, a turkey baster is right out?

[Autolycus]

@tdn

What’s the only kind of meat that nuns are allowed to eat on Fridays?

Risotto?

[SiXSwordS]

@danceswithcats

Q: If vegans consume no product of animal origin, does it follow that vegan females, or gay vegan males don’t allow baby batter to enter their mouths?

I think not.
Here’s my reasoning.
In his article on placentaphagia, Cecil relates that:

The rationale for placenta eating, apart from the fact that it doesn’t entail snuffing animals, is that since it nurtures the child during pregnancy it must contain all sorts of valuable nutrients.

Which relates back to part of the original question.

[A] certain stripe of high-minded vegetarian eagerly prepares and devours placenta stew, the placenta being the only form of meat that does not involve the slaughter of some innocent animal.

So, if placenta is OK, semen must fantabuloso! Not only does the supply not entail the penning, branding and eventual slaughter of the animal, they actually enjoy providing a nutritious snack.

BTW, some straight, vegan men might enjoy, er, baby batter as well, but that’s a topic for a different thread.

[Annie-Xmas]

Have those vegans ever stopped to consider that the bodies of the moo-cows and birdies and little piggies and other dead animals that people eat are made up of plants?

[tdn]

@gigi

You know, pastrami is the most sensual of all the salted cured meats.

Well played!

As a man, I do have to say I enjoy baby batter. Nothing like it for making little baby pancakes. Except around here we call them silver dollar pancakes.

If you didn’t like that, there’s an untapped Babe Ruth joke floating around in here.

[Yeticus_Rex]

@gS49

From Michael Quinion’s “World Wide Words” ( World Wide Words: A message from the author):

I suppose that makes the meat-eaters among us carnisexuals.

let the wisecracks begin.

I couldn’t be prouder than to be labeled “Carnisexual”. Now to go to an amusement park and pick up a tattooed ditch-hippie chick to make the scene complete, and then finish it all of with fried pig ear on-a-stick.

Wha?

[An_Arky]

I think it’s just another part of the whole pleasure-denying trip some vegans are on.

I support people being vegans because they don’t want animals killed, but deep down, I think that for a few, it’s some form of self-hatred or something. Same thing with people who jog till they’re stringy or are workaholics.

[AskNott]

Liberal talk-radio gal Randi Rhodes doesn’t call gay women lesbians anymore. Most of them have never been to Lesbos. They’re Vagitarians.

[Boyo_Jim]

Clearly, some form of vegetable-based condom is needed. A leekskin? Some kind of tuber? A love clove?

And BTW, what do vegans feel about Venus Flytraps?

[Annie-Xmas]

@Boyo Jim

Clearly, some form of vegetable-based condom is needed. A leekskin? Some kind of tuber? A love clove?

Here you go

Warning: Not Safe For Work. If it doesn’t freak people out, it will give them a laughing fit.

[Boyo_Jim]

@Annie-Xmas

Here you go

Warning: Not Safe For Work. If it doesn’t freak people out, it will give them a laughing fit.

It says on their entrance page that they sell vegan condoms, but I can’t find them anywhere in their catalog.

[Ogre]

@Annie-Xmas

Here you go

Warning: Not Safe For Work. If it doesn’t freak people out, it will give them a laughing fit.

Apparently, the only vegan-approved kink is S&M.

[betenoir]

@Ogre

Apparently, the only vegan-approved kink is S&M.

I suppose bestialty is right out. Unless they really love animals…

[Unintentionally_Blank]

@Annie-Xmas

Have those vegans ever stopped to consider that the bodies of the moo-cows and birdies and little piggies and other dead animals that people eat are made up of plants?

Course not.

@Carl Sagan/Moby

You do realize we’re all made of stars

[Oslo_Ostragoth]

@Annie-Xmas

Here you go

Warning: Not Safe For Work. If it doesn’t freak people out, it will give them a laughing fit.

I should no longer be amazed at what is on the internet, yet I am.

[gS49]

@An Arky

I think it’s just another part of the whole pleasure-denying trip some vegans are on.

I support people being vegans because they don’t want animals killed, but deep down, I think that for a few, it’s some form of self-hatred or something. Same thing with people who jog till they’re stringy or are workaholics.

Literally, it’s that they (moral vegetarians/vegans) consider themselves no better than the worm in an apple. Altho why the worm is better than the apple, I don’t understand.

For some, I’m certain, the real roots are in self-loathing. For others, it’s a desire for (faux) moral superiority. There are better ways to be better.

Vegetarians who base their philosophy on nutritional or esthetic grounds are less likely to go all the way.

to vegan, I mean.

[gS49]

@Boyo Jim

Clearly, some form of vegetable-based condom is needed. A leekskin? Some kind of tuber? A love clove?

Latex comes from plants, boyo.

And BTW, what do vegans feel about Venus Flytraps?

Well, they wouldn’t have sex with them.

Which somehow reminds me of an old TV show.

[gS49]

A further question. If all animal products are disallowed, do vegans refuse to breastfeed? Or are babies who refuse the breast vegans from birth? And what about adult vegans?

And what about milk baths?
And, does a vegan refuse to have a carnivorous pet? Or just to have sex with them?

[Auntbeast]

Gee, Most people just get married so they don’t have to put out any more…