Yeah, lesson learned. Next time I’ll fake a seizure. Though I’m not sure they could tell the difference between that and my dancing style.
Substitute that for your preferred (but often declined) sex act - and I’d say that’s a fair bargain. 
After sufficient libation anyone can dance.
I’ll dance willingly after 6.3 drinks. The problem is that I pass out at 6.4 drinks.
What’s ridiculous is standing in the road getting ticked because people are honking at you, thinking “what, just because I don’t like driving, I can’t use the roads?” Part and parcel of deciding to attend without participating is people reacting to such behavior. Don’t like it? Stay home.
I don’t think I’ve ever disagreed more with a post than this one and your previous one. Attending a wedding is not an implied agreement to dance. Hell, some of the best weddings I’ve been to don’t even have dancing. Being at a bar where there is dancing doesn’t imply I want to dance. Maybe I like watching other people dance. Same for being at a wedding. Jesus H. Christ, this is exactly the attitude you get at these functions “it won’t kill you to dance, and you’d have a good time, and I know more than you do what you’d like or can tolerate.”
I can dance. I’m no worse than average at it. I have danced voluntarily in the past. I have simply decided that with very few exceptions (my daughter’s wedding perhaps) I don’t want to do it and it is no business of the other people around if I wish to be happy and stationary somewhere off the dance floor. I really had no idea I was offending anyone by my pleasant sitting around with a glass of wine.
I don’t get the repeated implication that the person is trying to control you or claiming to know you better than you know yourself. If you’re at a social event, it’s not crazy or pushy for people to assume you’ll be socializing and be puzzled when you’re not. Which is at the crux of the issue: by attending you’re creating an expectation, then getting ticked when people expect you to meet that expectation. Not a single person has expressed shock and surprise that this happens, and rightly so - it’s typical human behavior. You knew it was coming, yet you showed up anyway. So kwitcherbitchin. It’s part of the price of playing observer. As I’ve said many times (in many threads), I’m against whining. Your options are take action to avoid the situation or endure.
And I still think this whole “how dare they expect me to do something I don’t like that will have little to no impact on my life?” attitude is petty, selfish and immature. I’ve heard less crying from people drafted during war-time. But that’s just my opinion, you guys rock on with your bad selves.
If I go to a restaurant, I’m not expected to eat EVERY item on the menu.
Dancing is ONE of several ways one can engage in socializing. There’s more to a wedding than the dancing. it’s ONE of the things that can be done. There’s more to any social event than just the one thing. You’re suggesting that if I attend, I’m obligated to partake in ALL of it. The whole menu.
If I’d rather have the salmon, stop trying to shove chicken down my throat. The salmon why I enjoy the restaurant. Enjoy your chicken.
Thank you. Much more diplomatic than the response I contemplated.
My husband enjoys socializing. However, he can’t dance well at all. Many people have tried to teach him. He has been professionally diagnosed as having no rhythm in his soul, and a couple of his teachers have expressed the opinion that he ain’t got no soul.
If he dances in public, then he won’t have a good time, and neither will the people around him. But if you let him just shoot the breeze with other people, he’ll have a good time, mostly, and so will most of the people around him. Except, of course, for those people who insist that if he’s not dancing, he’s ruining the event for everyone.
It’s not that he’s afraid to look goofy, either. He rather enjoys looking goofy at times. But his dancing is painful to watch.
I’m suggesting that, being aware that salmon may be offered on the menu, don’t throw a shit-fit when it happens, and go on and on about why they can’t leave you poor you alone about the salmon. Using your analogy, if someone having the salmon raved about it and offered them a taste, the OP and others feel they should be water-boarded.
Again, dance, don’t dance, salmon or chicken - no problem. Adult whining - problem.
That’s not the OP’s (or anyone else’s) position at all. Not sure where you read anything like that.
Nice strawman. Of course if you stand in the middle of the road, people are going to honk at you. But people don’t do that, they walk alongside the road out of the way of traffic. If you sit off the dance floor by yourself, you’re not getting in anybody’s way or keeping anybody from dancing who wants to. One is not like the other. Quietly enjoying an event for those who don’t like to dance isn’t preventing people who enjoy dancing from doing so. And you’re free to ask others to dance, but if they refuse, politely accept it and find another partner. Don’t like it? Stay home.
But I thought you were saying they should eat the salmon whether they want to or not because a whole bunch of people came to the restaurant just to have the salmon and they won’t be able to enjoy it unless everyone has some.
That’s pretty much the size of it.
Ah, so he CAN come to the party but he DOES NOT have to dance if he does not want to? Good. Glad to see we’re all now in agreement on that.
We’re not in agreement that he has to shut up. There’s no rule against using the Pit to vent about annoyances of trivial significance.
Really. The OP is not upset that the rest of us are dancing. He’s not upset he’s* asked *to dance. He’s upset when even after he politely declines someone will demand that he dance to the point of trying to physically drag him, and then act offended at his resistance.
No, the issue is NOT waterboarding someone because they offered a taste. The issue is someone not accepting “No” as an answer. Look, I’ll explain THIS analogy in a slightly different way. I’ll annotate it in italic and bold where the issue is. M’kay?
- Menus are passed out and one of the offerings is salmon.
- I don’t care for salmon.
- Dinner partner likes salmon
At this point, there is NO issue, just the set up. Okay?
- Dinner partner raves about how great the salmon is.
- Server comes to take our order.
- Dinner partner orders salmon. I order NOT-salmon.
Again, NO issue from my point of view. M’kay?
- Dinner partner criticizes my decision to not order salmon.
- I suggest “Well, then there’s more for you, right?”
Now we’re approaching an issue, but we’re not there yet. Understand?
- Food is served
- DP offers me a taste of his salmon and tells me how great it is and how much I’ll like it.
- I tell DP “No. Thank you.”
12. repeat 10 & 11 2 more times.
The issue has arrived.
**13. The DP takes a forkful of his salmon and attempts to feed it to me.
14. I evade the unwanted food and try to eat what I ordered.
15. The DP holds my fork holding hand down and waves his fork loaded with salmon in front of my mouth insisting I try it.
**
Now… you’re saying even if you don’t care for salmon, even if you’re allergic* to it, you should eat some, heck, maybe you should even order some because your DP likes it and wants you to eat it.
Me? I figure my preference to not eat salmon should have no affect on your enjoyment of it. I further think it never should have gotten past 11. By the third iteration of 11, I will probably become less polite. Because DP does not respect my personal preference.
Maybe this will work: Your rights stop where my rights begin and vice versa. Me exercising my right to not eat something in no manner diminishes your right to enjoy eating something. LET IT REST THERE, huh?
*No. I didn’t tell the DP that I’m allergic to salmon. Why should I? Unless the DP is my physician and I’m seeing him in reference to my medical condition, I think it’s **none of his goddamn business. **
We’re not in the Pit, though. We’re in MPSIMS. That doesn’t make any difference, though. Mean Mr. M. is still entitled to vent about it here.
:o I was wondering why we were all being so polite…
If you are sitting quietly, reading a book you are always obligated to stop what you are doing if someone wants to talk to you. To do otherwise is to be rude.
If you are not dancing, but someone insists you stop what you are doing and dance, you must dance. To do otherwise is to be rude.
In short, you are never allowed to just sit and mind your own business if someone else decides that you must entertain them. I’m going to start a reverse trend and start dragging people off the dance floor, forcing them to sit quietly and lead a more cotemplative life. I’m also going to break up conversations, hand out reading material and tell people to read what I’ve chosen for them.