Well, absolutely, if there truly are idiots that fail to recognize the boundaries of “common preference” then they weren’t going to make great parents anyway.
“not all” is a lousy paraphrasing of “hardly any”
Advocating you should be a friend to your children!? The bastards!
Stupid me, I thought you were a child-psychologist, or something.
Do you have reason to believe that the “heathenish mutants” you have to deal with have a greater prevalence among the children of liberal parents (who might see child discipline as a co-operative and non-coercive matter)?
Have you gone barking mad? If the kid has nits because the parents refuse to take of the situation, the kid should be removed from custody and the parents jailed for child abuse. I won’t even go to the pedophilia example. You’ve stated the entire problem with TCS when you said “the child’s preference takes priority”. On what planet??? A child’s “prefrences” don’t mean diddly-squat.
My fave from that site
milroyj, no, I haven’t gone barking mad but you have misread my posts if you think for one microsecond that my kids get their way if I can’t engineer a common preference. Or that my kids hang out with paedophiles or jump off roofs.
Being able to explain TCS doesn’t mean I do it or that I believe in it as a childrearing philosophy. I’m only this au fait with TCS as a result of being beaten over the head repeatedly by zealots 
on parenting lists. I don’t have a problem with the concept that if there are choices to be made (what flavour ice cream to buy, what movie to see, what colour to paint their bedroom FE) I’m willing to discuss a common preference but trust me that’s about all I took from TCS.
astro the really fun bits start when you’re arguing with an ardent TCS’er and they begin redefining the English language. In a lot of ways TCS strongly resembles a cult.
Well, one example they gave on the list was-say the kid wants to go to the park, but the parent is in the middle of a really good book and doesn’t want to leave the house. The parent begins suggesting ways the child can find to do something so the parent doesn’t “sacrifice” his wants, without upsetting the child. So Mom says, “Hey, you know, what about that Lego village you’ve been working on?” And the child says, “Oh yeah, okay, cool!”
Stuff like that, okay, fine.
But these people take it to a ridiculous extreme. Their theory is that ALL coercion is bad. ALL of it. And because a child didn’t chose to be born, but the parents did, it’s the parents who have to make it so the child has complete automony.
They’re very much anti-school, they don’t believe in learning disabilities or mental illness, they’re hardcore libertarians, (libertarianism-while I disagree with it, is all well and good, but wrong when taken to extremes).
milroyj-read the site for yourself.
No, it’s NOT wide-spread at all. But it IS amusing and fun to rag on them. One woman compared forcibly changing a child’s diaper to rape.
As for David Deutshbag, I recall a member telling me privately that all the carrots are missing from his vegetable drawer, he’s such a tightass.
Anybody here other than me laughing because the OP was written by a not-a-long-way-ouuta-her-teens childless person?
Yeah raising kids is easy. No I NEVER have days when I give in just because I am tired. HAH!
I have found that my son reacts very well to choices. And when one of the choices is a loss of privileges he usually does what I want of him.
He is 7. He runs and jumps in my lap and says “Your my bestest mommy.” That’s worth lettin him have his way now and then.
This reminds me of the last fad - the ‘self esteem at all costs’ philosophy. Can’t fail the kids, because it’ll hurt their self esteem. Can’t have them playing competitive games, because losing hurts their self esteem. Can’t grade them, can’t criticise them, must maintain their self esteem at all costs.
Now they’re finding out that we raised a generation of people with great self-esteem - but for no reason. So they’ve become a bunch of obnoxious selfish snots, who think they’re great at everything. Gee, who saw that coming?
NOTE TO POTENTIAL FLAMERS: Obviously, this does not mean YOU. You bucked the odds, and are truly worthy of our praise.
I’ve never been on the list but I have known several people who were. I haven’t read the website since it was much smaller, but I have communicated with a very committed TCS parent online, back in my homeschooling days.
I’m rather torn on this. I honestly don’t think any of the TCS parents I knew were bad parents or even close to bad parents. Then again, I never heard any of them say the whole family got nits or any of these other horror stories. My own parenting is such a mess (I won’t go into it, but I will say we’re in family therapy) that TCS couldn’t possibly have hurt, but I never tried it.
I don’t think “elements” of TCS are creeping into anything. As has been stated here, its a very, very all-or-nothing philosophy with extremely few adherents. Elements of what might be called permissiveness, yes, and whether that’s a good thing or a bad one I don’t know either.
…
Are you kidding me?!? One of the first words a kid learns to SAY is “no”! The only way that’d fly in MY house is if the kids have killed me and buried me in the backyard.
An entire family with friggin LICE because the kid didn’t want anyone to touch his head?!? Oh, good sweet lord, HELL no.
Got room in that boat, milroyj? I’m with you on this one.
Guin
Gah! :eek: Not hardly!
Children are not rights bearing entities — that is, they are not capable of giving meaningful consent. It is therefore not a coercion to make decisions on their behalf. In fact, making decisions on behalf of their children is a huge part of the parents’ contractual responsibility.
There is absolutely nothing libertarian about any theory that will abandon decision-making processes or entrust them over to children.
While children do not bear rights, their parents do bear obligations, the primary one being to ensure that the children grow up to be rights bearing entities. There is no better method for this than loving discipline.
Some people are shitty parents.
Some, like the examples on the TCS website, are shitty parents because they are far too permissive with their children and cannot effectively PARENT them. Others, like milroyj, are shitty parents because they are assholes.
Being a good parent means striking a balance between respecting your children and listening to what they want, and, when necessary, setting boundaries and making and enforcing rules. Too much or too little of either is suboptimal.
Where in the hell did that attack come from? 
Lib, they call themselves libertarians. I agree with you, but they see coercion as bad ALWAYS. Even when you save someone’s life, they still say you should appologize later.
I don’t think all the people on the list are bad. Just a select few-like the people who run it, and that. Sarah Fitz-Clarence (I thought it was Sarah Lawrence?!), David Deutsch, and a few others are complete and utter morons.
I’m sorry, I should have quoted in the first place.
I don’t think the complaint is that you typoed, either.
If I’d had a proper updragging, I wouldn’t have simulposted.
It still wouldn’t have made a difference. What the fuck planet are you from? Do you even have kids? As much as I always try to take into consideration what the buglet wants, and accomidate him whenever possible, in the end, his preference means didly-squat if it conflicts with mine as a parent. That’s the problem with these TCS idiots in a nutshell. Eventually, judgement calls must be made, and they are having the person with the least amount of experience, who is least qualified to make them, be the one to make the call. It’s upside down. Saying that a child’s opinion dosen’t matter is the truth: It dosen’t. Good parents will do all they can to make sure the child has input, but when the rubber meats the road…Sorry, kid, but your opinion means bupkis.
When it comes down to a child’s health, welfare, or safety, a child’s preferences don’t mean jack. Those issues are the responsibility of the parents. And having an untreated lice infestation that affects the entire family is a health issue.
I may be an asshole, but not for the reason you allege.
What the fuck do you mean?
Do you mean that when “push comes to shove” your opinion counts most?
'cause that’s a whole different thing to WeirdDaviditta’s preferences mean diddly-squat!
But then you reiterate, "Saying that a child’s opinion dosen’t matter is the truth: It doesn’t. "
If this is truly your position, and not just an over-hasty remark, then just maybe you should go fuck yourself – less chance of you procreating that way!