I spoke with the doctor, and he told me to tell you that you are a bitter old crank who is taking out his resentment against his own parents and stepfather on every kid today, and on every parent of a kid who is foolish enough to seek advice from you.
Your column is useless. All your answers have the same theme. Tell the kid that “the doctor” said he’s not getting enough sleep, and he has to go to bed ridiculously early for a month. Usually after stripping the room to the bare essentials. Or he has to spend a month confined to his room, except for school/church/meals. I don’t believe this advice is meant to help the child. I honestly believe the goal is to get the kid out of the parent’s sight. Your mom and stepdad regarded you as a burden, and now you want to stick it to every child today.
And you’re not even consistent. Recently, you scoffed at the idea of anti-bullying measures. It’s just part of growing up, you said. And, of course, kids today have no idea of what you had to put up with at your school. Harassment is normal, according to you. Except, when someone wrote to you about her ten y/o daughter teasing her 6 y/o sister, you labeled the 10 y/o a “junior sociopath” and recommended the usual confined-to-bare-room for “the month she will never forget.”
But! When the child becomes a teenager, and stays in their room by choice, take the door off their room. Because how dare they reject their parents. Parents are supposed to reject their kids. You’re always recommending that parents of children 10 or younger encourage their kids to stay away from them, find ways to amuse themselves, “ignore them”. But when puberty strikes, and they want to be away from their parents, which is actually a normal stage of development, you see it as insubordination. You can’t have it both ways, honeybuns. If you spend 10-12 years telling them to get out of your face, don’t condemn them as a World Class Creep when they finally choose to stay away from you.
And that’s just the boilerplate stuff. In your books, you describe these scenarios that I honestly think you got off on when you were writing them. Like “Piling On.” Or “Chair of Wisdom”. I don’t have time to link to that shit; anyone else reading this can google it. The essence is, first, be passive-aggressive. Wait until the child has forgotten the transgression, or thinks you’re not mad, then bring the hammer down. Second, maintain a tone of smug condescension. Third, bait your kid into thinking that you’re listening to him and that you care what he has to say. Then, after his anger and frustration have crested and fallen back, when he’s completely spent, tell him “You’re just not convincing enough.” Which I strongly suspect is what you got at that age. And if it made you what you are today, I think it’s a very. very. bad idea.
I don’t see how anyone could do that unless they hated their child. What it all comes down to is, take ALL the power away from the child, hold ALL the power yourself…and this is supposed to produce a productive citizen? How in the everloving fuck is an 18 year old, which is your recommended age for pushing offspring out of the nest, supposed to make good choices, when he’s never been given any choice except the ones forced on him? Anyone who could inflict the torment you recommend would have to hate their child. I could not follow your advice. I don’t have it in me. I’d hang first.
You also have a very narrow view of society. Your hypotheticals and case histories apply to the upper middle class pretty much exclusively. Take everything away from the kid? Some kids don’t have “everything” to take away. Confine him to his room? Some kids don’t have a parent at home 24/7 to enforce that. And yes, I know there are a lot, too many, twenty-somethings living with their parents these days. But citing the class of '72 living away from their parents does not impress me, because I know how many of those parents despaired that their children were living like dirty hippies. There will never be perfect harmony between parents and offspring. And it is not a desirable goal. If we did achieve it, society would not move forward.
Okay, about this doctor nonsense. I found this while doing a search.
*Q: My daughter, who is going to turn 3 next month, is going to have her tonsils and adenoids out in a few weeks. Because she is so young, they are admitting her to the hospital overnight. How should I prepare her for this? Should I explain at all prior to the event or say nothing? What would be age appropriate?
A: To answer this question, I went into a deep trance and contacted your great-great-grandmother, who told me to tell you that ‘‘age appropriate’’ is to say nothing.
The more of a buildup you give this, the more anxiety you will generate. Your daughter will not understand any attempt on your part to explain what’s going to happen, and it will scare her that she doesn’t understand. Add in that she will sense your anxiety, and you will likely have a problem where none would have existed had you channeled your great-great-granny’s common sense.
The morning of the procedure, say, ‘‘We’re going to the doctor’s today. He’s in a new office, in the hospital.’’
Remember, if you act anxious, your daughter will become anxious. They’re going to put her under, right?
In which case she will wake up with a sore throat, and you can announce that she has won the ‘‘ice cream for a week’’ award for being such a good little girl for the doctor! Then you can explain what happened.*
I really, really hope you spend your last days in that crooked nursing home Homer saw on 60 Minutes.
Anyway, to answer Carol the Impaler and KayT, here’s a link.
He also says no parent has ever reported bad results from this. Maybe. Maybe he disregards such messages, claiming the parents didn’t do it right. Or perhaps his followers are afraid to disagree with him because they don’t want to get sent to their rooms for a month. He also says no real doctor has ever told him this method is wrong. But he could be disregarding them as well. Or perhaps real MDs don’t know or care about him.
.
and :mad:.
