:rolleyes::rolleyes: Obviously, there were no dinosaurs on the ark. Dinosaurs never existed outside of the Garden of Eden, because one led Eve to the forbidden fruit and God took away its legs as punishment, turning it into a serpent. (Real argument I heard.)
It wasn’t about the animals, God was making sure weed didn’t go extinct! Three thousand years before the first rock 'n roll band! Talk about thinking ahead!
Far out!
I really miss The Far Side.
I love you and want to march behind you to carry your weapons when you lead a great host to battle.
And clearly if the Earth was repopulated by Noah’s family isn’t that incest, the type of thing for which everyone was killed.
I’m pretty sure that I shouldn’t ask…but why?
I just looked up Mount Ararat and found real picturesof the Ark. Its real, there is documentary evidence.
Oh, and the animals just came to the Ark because God told them to. They slept the entire year, and the first birds who didn’t come back still managed to breed somehow because crows are still with us. God works in mysterious ways.
Of course there were no dinosaurs on the ark. There were never dinosaurs at all, evolution didn’t happen and God just put that stuff in the ground to make us try to us think. Or something. I’m not sure, but as I understand…its better to believe that God did it as a joke because the world is only 6000 years old, so he thought he should fake some stuff to keep us entertained.
My brain hurts now. Living in the Bible Belt can be very strange. Nice people, but very “interesting”. Bless their hearts.
Actually, I once heard one lady on a radio call-in show says, “That law was not given at that time.” But, that was in reference to the question of where Cain got his wife.
No, really, I’m not making this up.
Applause. Just superb.
Old Man Noah knew a thing or two
He made them all play ball!
Old Man Noah knew a thing or two
Because he knew a thing or two,
He thought he knew it all!
Some say he was an also-ran
But he was the original Circus Man!
He was a grand old
He was a grand old
He was a grand old man!
They were adders, so they needed logs to multiply.
It’s been awhile since I read Davis Quammen’s Song of the Dodo. ISTR that in it he states that the Victorians (maybe it was people from an earlier age, but it’s the Victorians in my memory) did exactly this, redefine the cubit, as explorers brought back more and more specimens of hitherto unknown species, for whom accommodations had to be accounted for on the ark.
“Oh see, when they say a cubit, what they really mean is a great cubit. Those are ten times as long as your standard cubit.”
That interpretation did indeed allow them to assume a much much larger ark.
Just wanted to shout out here: great book! Depressing as all fuck, but extremely well written, highly informative, hugely educational, and damn good.
My favorite line (quoted from memory) “Being wiped from the face of the earth must surely be the ne plus ultra of downward mobility.”
Quammen is my favorite living science author.
Or they were hoop snakes and they wanted to build a ramp to get aboard the ark.
Genesis 6, 21
" An taek teh f00dz dat all teh ppl An aminals lieks 2 eatz, An gathr it up; An it shall b 4 fud 4 u, An 4 them.** An noah sed thers gonna b lotz ov poopi to shuvl wif all dem aminals An stuff, An Ceiling Cat sed stfu i iz givez dem all rael bad constipashun so dont worry about it. An noah sed k and stfu’d.**"
Ceiling Cat said it, I believe it. Period. 
Yup. Hee hee hee hee hee hee. 
I love that joke.
:smack::smack::smack:
I knew I shouldn’t have asked. That’s actually really funny and all…but I thought I should have complained properly.
PS Thanks, I’ll remember that little factoid and forget where I put the turkey pan because my mind only lets me remember so many things.
Maybe there was neither intake NOR outgo, and all the critters were simply maintained in stasis pods for the duration.
Hey, if it’s a good enough device for some hack SF writer to get away with not explaining, it’s good enough for the Creator of the Universe…
Oh, for fuck’s sake. :smack:
Well, someone at least please tell me that Wil Wheaton was in the film, and his character was the one who came up with that idea.
At the end of the voyage, they chucked it over the side, and named it [your home town]
Boom!
I always kinda feel guilty about buying Noah’s Ark toys for my friends’ kids, which I did after seeing how much my daughter liked the one I bought her (I think I got hers because it was cheaper than a farm set, or something). It’s just a really fun toy. I do ask before purchasing and nobody’s said no.
But yay, I am unintentionally indoctrinating kids into atheism, because just like my daughter they will play with those toys and eventually Ask Questions. And the answers shall lead them towards atheism, whether the answerers mean them to or not.
You definitely deserve 100 internet points for this.